Compromised
by Dementian
Summary: Kurama's descent into madness is swift and solid until an unexpected hand grabs on and doesn't let go. Meanwhile, Kazuma is forced to rethink a relationship he had always assumed futile. Sequel to "Into the Grey"
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: trigger warning** for a **suicide attempt** in this chapter. If that disturbs you, please be aware of its presence in the text and read with caution! I hope you all enjoy this sequel to "Into the Grey"

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He waited without knowing when the end would come, a coiling string of panic wound tight round his chest. Every minute without an answer was an hour, every hour a day, and suddenly Kazuma Kuwabara found himself in a hole of anxiety that he could not escape from. The regret that piled upon him was a massive stone, crushing him under its god awful weight. Every moment in which he'd slipped up, made a mistake, not done what he was supposed to have done, suddenly seemed tantamount to dooming him to hell; how could he have been so fucking foolish and careless? How, when so much had been on the line? When the one thing he treasured most was suddenly his to lose forever.

What would he have given in that moment to see Kurama's smiling face, to hear him whisper words of comfort? What he would have done, to know that there was a second chance available to him? To know that all was not lost, and not in vain?

He waited for a sign, for a voice, for anything... Yusuke's head in his lap; the pair of them squashed together upon an uncomfortable couch in the waiting room of Sariashiki Hospital. The clock struck two in the morning, and a soft gong peeled back another miserable hour of perpetual anticipation.

The gong was finished. Silence resumed.

_**Fourteen Hours Earlier: **_

It began and ended in the kitchen.

Kazuma received the call, bore the news, and watched as the man he loved fell apart.

It unnerved him that the sun rose the next morning, that he heard people moving about on the street. That somewhere in the world, as close as next door, there were people living, laughing, eating, going about life without the knowledge that someone as important and loving as Shiori Minamino had died. Kazuma locked the door of Kurama's shop, and called his clients to ensure an absence from his contractual work, but it still did not seem real. At any moment, Kazuma expected another phone call, for Hatanaka or his son Kokoda to inform them both that Shiori was alive, that she was apologetic for the mismatch in information, and all was as it should be. No such call came.

Kurama, the pinnacle of strength in Kazuma's world, was shaken to the core. His listless eyes searched backward and forward, finding nothing satisfying, unable to explain the hunger or the pain now brought up deep inside him. He often roamed throughout the confines of their apartment, as if to fetch something from the kitchen or get some work done on the couch, only to stop and stare. Only to die a little death, and retreat back to their bedroom where he collapsed upon the bed and stirred no more.

There was no comforting him. He was inconsolable.

The day of the wake was cold and gray, and Kurama remained lifeless right up until the last minute as if hoping to prolong the social custom. Kazuma could not blame him; he could only gently help Kurama dress in a mofuku that had been brought over by Hatanaka's sister who acted as communicator between the two deeply grieving men. It was shocking to see Kurama in a plain black silk kimono, hakama, and haori. Like something out of a disturbing dream, Kurama drifted through the world clad only in black. The gray swept back and divided for him, romance fled from where he walked. As Shiori's eldest son, it was Kurama's responsibility to contact a temple where Shiori had worshiped as a girl to schedule a funeral. Kurama had been unable to move, much less speak, and so Kazuma had assumed the role. He lied later and told people Kurama had contacted the temple. It was a strange lie to tell, and yet it saved face in a society that demanded the grieving remember their responsibilities.

Kazuma watched Kurama all through the wake, expecting any moment for him to burst into another fit of hysterical sobbing of screaming; praying even, if only that the silence be broken and the grief be heard. Yet Kurama said nothing, his hands folded in his lap, sitting upon the floor with his back against the farthest wall. Shiori had been incredibly loving and kind, and her circle of friends was expansive. Each came, bowing to Kurama upon their knees, yet Kurama saw none of them.

His eyes were like broken light bulbs, dark and useless. They let nothing in, they let nothing out.

He kept overnight vigil at her coffin, never moving.

He was... absent. Like a shell lacking an inner muscle that simply flapped in the wind.

The funeral, however, was truly horrific. Worse beyond all imagining.

Kurama had lain in bed, dressed but unmoving till the very last conceivable moment. It had taken all of Kazuma's will power to get him out of bed, to get him moving out the door and into the car. By the time that they were actually at the church they truly were pushing the limits for time. It was a packed house, and quite embarrassing to have to walk down the main causeway to take a seat behind Kurama's step father and step brother who looked genuinely hurt that Kurama had not been early to help them prepare and grieve.

Still, Kazuma was with Yusuke, Keiko, Shizuru and Yukina... so he didn't feel as embarrassed as he sat right behind Kurama and prayed to god the next two and a half hours would go by quickly. It did not help that Jiro was in the crowd, giving Kazuma questioning looks of sheer indigence as the funeral finally began. Shiori's coffin, closed upon request of Kurama's step father, made an unnerving backdrop as Kurama's step father thanked everyone for attending. It truly was a massive turn out, a loving tribute to a woman who had been so kind to so many, and Kazuma was relieved to see that Matsuri had not shown his ugly face. Kurama was a silent canon at this point, a bullet lodged between his teeth ready to fire... and Kazuma had no idea how Kurama might react to any amount of tension.

Yet tension was exactly what they got, from Kurama's step father of all people as he finished his own eulogy and looked down at Kurama expectantly.

Oh sweet fucking _God, _Kurama was going to have to say something? Kazuma's stomach flipped as he realized that Kurama had told him nothing in regards to a eulogy, had prepared no speech and would probably be 'winging-it' for lack of a better term. Some people, such as Yusuke, did well under that sort of pressure, but Kurama was already a champagne cork ready to burst.

With his arms crossed over his chest and an ugly sullen look upon his usually benign face, Kurama did not seem to hear his step father's call to the podium. It was as if he was a boxer on the side of the ring, waiting for his turn to step up and crush his opponent, not a grieving child at his mother's funeral. Kurama got up, his movement fluid and yet oddly jerky as he walked down the aisle. His head was cocked to the side, his long red hair sliding a little bit in the wind of his wake as he took to the podium and glared down upon the crowd.

Suddenly Kazuma was very afraid of Kurama being handed a microphone.

Kurama leaned a little upon the podium and observed his captivated audience.

"... It's easy to see why this room is full," Kurama said, his amplified voice full of cold contempt. "She was nice to people. She didn't really like most of you; she just pretended. She was good at that."

An uncomfortable silence took over the crowd. Kazuma slowly turned his head to look at Yusuke, who had done a double take to gape open mouthed at Kurama. It seemed he too fully understood what was about to happen. They were powerless to make it stop.

"It's incredible how many people are here today considering only four ever consistently visited her during her many lonely months of extended hospital visits. Although I suppose it was only technically three people, since my company is probably not worth counting for anything. I'm really curious, where were each of you? And, more importantly, why are you here?" Kurama asked. A nervous titter swept through the crowd as friends and family turned to look at one another.

"Oh my God..." Keiko whispered under her breath.

"Jesus _shit, _Kurama," Shizuru cursed softly.

"I see you're stumped." Kurama gave the crowd a small, snide smile, one often reserved for enemies. "Well, let me fill you in. You're here because you are required by society to act like you are grieving when really you are not, and then when are you are alone in your own houses and back to a state of seclusion you will take off the mask and complain about how exhausting it was to sit through such a boring and pointless funeral. Especially considering she'd been dying for years. Years." He repeated the word. "I guess I should be surprised she managed to live as long as she did with someone like me for a son."

He nodded a little to himself before continuing on.

"So I suppose you're curious what it's like to care for someone who has a brain tumor which is consequently destroying their cognitive awareness? I'll tell you. She had exhausting headaches, seizures. She couldn't move; she couldn't see. She was practically a walking copse by the end of it. She started losing her mind about two months ago; she thought one time that I was my father and she tried to kiss me. Of course she came back to her senses but she was horrified. I told no one about it but now I figure, what the fuck? Who cares? She's dead."

Kazuma could not stop himself as he slowly ducked his head down to put his hands over his mouth. He blew forcefully through his fingers, his heart hammering at Kurama's unbelievable words. Kurama's voice was breaking, tight and rigid but cracking with hairline fractures as he forged on.

"She talked to people who weren't there, people who had dead for years, like my grandfather or her sister. But the worst part was when she went quiet and didn't say anything at all." Kurama stopped for a moment; Kazuma dared to glance up. Kurama's face was stone cold, but the emotion in his voice was undeniable. It was an ugly, angry, bitter tone that spoke of years of pain.

"Because she was hearing voices, and I didn't know what they were saying to her, or telling her to do. They could have been telling her to burn down the house; so I stayed close... I made sure she didn't kill herself. But maybe if she had, that would have somehow been satisfying to her. I can't help but wonder if she was ever truly satisfied." Kurama looked down.

"I'm glad she's dead," he said.

And that was that.

He left the podium, walking right past his stunned and horrified step-father down the main causeway. He did not pause at his seat, did not even turn to look at Kazuma, merely continuing on out the church doors. The murmur that swept through the crowd was one of shock and awe, as people all around them spoke in stunned disbelief that polite and genial Shuichi Minamino would think to say something like that at his own mother's funeral.

Kazuma could not take it. He jerked up and took off after Kurama. He heard footsteps behind him, the sound of a bench emptying, and knew that the others were following right after him as he burst through the church doors and out onto the rain slicked front steps. He took them two and a time, shoes crunching on the gravel at the bottom, and ran out into the parking lot after Kurama. Kurama was continuing on, a good ways ahead of them, his long legs keeping up a swift stride that was difficult to match or best, but Yusuke suddenly brushed past Kazuma, running at full length after Kurama. He even jumped a railing, landing hard on the concrete in his slick black shoes, and cut Kurama off from walking any further with a risky jump maneuver that Kazuma wasn't sure he'd like to try in a rented tux.

"Hey!"

Kurama made to keep walking, nearly knocking into Yusuke. Yusuke just followed in hot pursuit, angry and disbelieving. "What the fuck was that about?!"

Kurama did not answer; in a rage, Yusuke grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Kurama was expressionless. "Have you lost your fucking mind?!" Yusuke demanded, brown eyes popping with fury. His fists tightened upon Kurama's black button down, Kurama's dark hair spilling over Yusuke's hands.

Kazuma had caught up, and immediately put a hand out to stop the fight that he knew was about to start.

"Yusuke!" Kazuma begged; Yusuke steamrolled right on.

"My mother is one of the most selfish, sloshed-" Yusuke pulled a face, his anger suddenly making it impossible for him to speak clearly, "_fucked up _women I have ever met, but I tell you something, I wouldn't almost be late to her funeral and say that shit!"

Keiko was suddenly at Kazuma's elbow, no doubt having run just as fast to stop Yusuke from starting a fight. She'd arrived too late though; Kurama's green eyes were darkening by the second.

Kazuma knew it was only a matter of time now. The pressure on the champagne cork was building.

"Like, Jesus Christ, Kurama!" Yusuke snarled, pulling them nose to nose as he vented, "You are one of the most kind, smart people I know and you go and say something like that?! What, did you just not give a fuck that she died or someth-"

_CRUNCH!_

Keiko let out a cry of horror, her hands flying up to her mouth in surprise as Kurama reached back and punched Yusuke so hard in the mouth Yusuke was forced to let go of Kurama's shirt. Never in the history of their entire friendship had Kurama raised a hand against Yusuke. It was shocking, and Kazuma was rendered speechless as Yusuke slowly looked up again at Kurama. His nose was bloody, maybe it was broken. His rage had left him; he was now calm.

But a calm Yusuke was just as dangerous as an angry one.

Suddenly, they were upon one another.

Yusuke launched forward, bringing his fist around to punch Kurama, but Kurama threw him hard into the concrete wall that supported the parking lot above their heads. Yusuke shot for another punch but Kurama blocked it, swinging an arm hard only to use it again to slam into Yusuke's gut. Yusuke was knocked forcibly off his feet, but Kurama was not done. Kurama let out a wild scream of fury, bringing an arm down, and Yusuke blocked it at once only to get the wind knocked out of him by Kurama's other hand as Kurama punched him once more in the gut. Yusuke came up swinging, but Kurama punched him hard in the neck; Yusuke had never truly been hit so hard before in such a tender area, and as he fell Kurama went with him, grabbing Yusuke tight around the throat-!

His eyes were murderous, black and blazing, he breathed tight through his nose, his nostrils flaring, and suddenly Kazuma was reminded quite forcibly that Kurama was not only the most experienced member of their team but perhaps the most capable of making an unthinkable kill. He had ripped a head clean off its shoulders in the cave during their Sensui trial; he had pierced Karasu's heart even as his own life's blood slipped through his finger to pool at his knees. Kurama had no enemies because Kurama _left no enemies alive- _

_A cocky smile, a flash of warm brown eyes, tight strong arms wrapped about his neck and a wild joyous shout as a new restaurant was unveiled- _

Kazuma ran forward and grabbed Kurama hard by the shoulders, jerking him clean off of Yusuke who immediately began to choke and cough with such seizing distress that Keiko could not stand by and let him lay alone upon the ground. She rushed to his side, helping him to sit up, but Yusuke was already clambering back to his feet. A dark bruise was already starting to form beneath his eye where Kurama had punched him, but Yusuke did not seem to care about physical injuries such much as the dark and dangerous look in Kurama's eye that was slowly slipping away to be replaced by... nothingness.

A complete and utter lack of emotion.

"...Kurama," Yusuke rasped the name, swallowing several times. "What the _fuck.__"_

In Kazuma's slackening hold, Kurama brushed away; he straightened his collar for one moment before continuing on down the sidewalk towards where their car was waiting.

_**Twelve Hours Earlier: **_

The ride home had been unnervingly quiet. Kazuma had driven the entire way with knuckles white upon the steering wheel, praying to god another fight didn't start out while they were in a moving vehicle. Kurama remained listless and quiet, life simply flashing before his eyes without anything truly sinking in. When they'd parked outside the restaurant, Kurama had gotten out of the car rather quickly and made to cross the street; he moved with that same fluid yet jerky grace, a bizarre mix of total opposites. It was a miracle that no cars were coming; Kazuma had a feeling Kurama would not have stopped even if there had been one barreling down the road.

Kazuma could not afford to waste time apologizing to Yusuke; he ran after Kurama. He suddenly felt quite nervous about Kurama being alone in the house. He'd barely managed to get over the threshold before Kurama was up the stairs. Kazuma followed in hot pursuit, yet he was shocked to find that Kurama did not go into their bedroom and slam the door. He'd expected a fight, a scream session that would have the neighbors calling the cops. Instead Kurama now stood quietly by their kitchen sink.

He was standing so strangely still, as if he suddenly did not know what to do or where to go anymore.

Then he was moving again.

He took one of their tea kettles to fill it with water from the tap, setting it upon an eye to allow it to boil. It seemed he was going to make a cup of tea, which now that Kazuma thought about it sounded like a damn good idea.

Leave it to Kurama to keep his head on his shoulders even in such a terrible moment.

Yet as the silence between them kept growing, Kazuma felt like something needed to be said. Something was missing from this interaction between them, but what was it? Deeper emotion? Reaction or response?

"Maybe you should lay down and rest for a while," Kazuma suggested softly. Kurama merely made a noise, pouring the tea into his cup. When he turned around, Kazuma saw that it was a milky white. Perhaps it was a new blend, something from England meant to sooth. Kazuma would have to try it and see if it helped him too. God only knows his nerves were shaken.

"I think I will," Kurama murmured, his voice calm and steady. He turned around, cup of tea in hand; his eyes were still hollow and dark. "I'm really tired."

"Yeah," Kazuma mumbled, his anxiety showing in his next words, "fighting Yusuke will do that to you; I know your pain."

Kurama did not seem to hear him. He walked away from the stove, probably intending to head into the bedroom and lay down for a nap. Yet he stopped again in front of Kazuma, and now was looking up at him with those hollow eyes. Kazuma did not know what on earth he was supposed to see there, but he was scared and prayed that Kurama was not angry at him. He wanted to love Kurama through this pain, to nurse him back to health.

The tea would help, but Kazuma knew he could do more with his own heart, with his own arms. He could kiss tears away just as easily as wipe them.

"... I love you," Kurama whispered. "So much."

There was something in the way he said it; as if he thought he might never be able to say it again. Kazuma didn't like the fear in his voice, the horrible aching sadness, the way his eyes suddenly seemed to be screaming even though they were blank and hollow. Maybe he was overly paranoid, still nervous after that shocking row with Yusuke. But... Kurama looked down for a moment into his milky tea cup, observing the contents for a moment. Kazuma wondered what about the tea fascinated him so much.

He looked back up at Kazuma, his eyes swimming; he blinked rapidly, not bothering to hide the tears there.

"Thank you, for this past year," Kurama whispered. "It was short, but it was the best time of my life." His tone was incredibly sincere.

Kazuma smiled. "We'll have more, I promise." Kazuma was slightly surprised when Kurama reached up and gently kissed his cheek; it was like a farewell kiss, not so much passionate as it was loving.

"You are a good man, Kazuma Kuwabara," Kurama said.

For a moment he stood there, his face close to Kazuma's neck, utterly still as he inhaled deeply. Then, it seemed, he'd come to a conclusion that he'd stood still for too long as he pulled away. Kazuma watched him go, walking down the hallway to their bedroom as one might walk to a tomb. As he closed the door behind him, Kurama did not turn around. It was as if he did not want to face Kazuma again, as if he was resolved to sleep and speak no more.

Kazuma supposed he'd earned a rest.

Kazuma was exhausted as well, and really who could blame him after such a horrible day? He made to pour himself a cup of tea, but was surprised when he found that the water inside the tea pot was merely that- water. Kurama's tea had been milky. Had he added something to it instead of steeping it inside? Kazuma looked about, wondering what kind of tea Kurama had made, but the more he stared the more he realized that there were no loose teabags about nor any remnants in the trash of loose leaf.

Kazuma looked down at his tea cup, full of clear pure water.

Something was not right.

He left the kitchen for the bedroom hall, a sudden strange pounding beginning to take hold in his heart. He reached for the door to the bedroom, but as he attempted to open it he found it locked.

Kazuma's hand stilled upon the nob, his heart racing even faster. He leaned his ear into the door, listening intently.

The sounds of horrific coughing and gurgling-

Kazuma jerked back from the door, and in that moment all lucid thought fled from his brain like water sucking back from the shore in lieu of an oncoming tsunami. Panic propelled him forward, and he slammed his shoulder into the door with all the strength he could muster! It busted down, breaking clean off its hinges, and Kazuma was greeted with the horrific sight of Kurama upon their bedroom floor, blood oozing from his pale mouth- the teacup was drunk, its contents drained, but a bottle was on the floor.

Kazuma did not know what it was, did not care what it was, only knowing that whatever it was was _not _meant to be drunk and probably poison. Dropping to his knees he seized Kurama up from the floor, cradling his lover in one arm as he reared back with the other and- god _damn _him for it- punched Kurama hard in the stomach.

It was all the force Kurama needed.

Kurama doubled over, vomiting blood and that strange milky fluid everywhere. He jerked wildly, trying to get away from Kazuma, making inhumane noises as he thrashed. He turned on Kazuma like a wild animal, blood spilling in a flood from his mouth as he launched himself at Kazuma and began to attack him.

"N-no! NO!" Kurama howled.

Biting, punching, tearing, slapping- his throws were weak and his body seizing but his fury was clear as he screamed. Kazuma could do little but hold on for dear life, Kurama's blood soaking through his shirt as Kurama's horrible wails filled his ears.

"God _damn _you!" Kurama shook wildly in Kazuma's arms even as he attempted to tear him apart; those dark forest eyes were glazed and wide, unseeing in their pain, "How could-you-_no!__"_Kurama could not stop vomiting, his body seizing so violently that Kazuma was afraid he would bite off his own tongue.

He began to sob, hands clutched tightly in his hair as he jerked and shook, several dark red strands coming loose from the strain. Kazuma tried to stop him, tried to pull his hands down, but Kurama was inconsolable.

"How could you- do this- to me-!" Kurama could barely speak between each vomiting spell, more and more blood coming up with each heave, "If you loved me- you wouldn't- _you wouldn__'__t _do this to me! If you loved me-"

Kurama gave one terrible shake, almost falling from Kazuma's arms, "You'd le'- me die-"

Kazuma could bear it no longer.

He snatched up cellphone and called for an ambulance. The little bottle next to Kurama rolled up into the light as Kurama kicked at it unknowingly with his foot. Its label was proud and clear: _Lye. _

_**Eleven Hours Earlier: **_

Kazuma could not be still, could not breath correctly, and yet seemed to be doing both by the grace of god as he trembled in his chair and breathed slowly into his hands. He waited, more afraid than he'd ever been in his life, unsure of who to call or what to say. The ambulance ride had been absolutely frightening with Kurama choking up blood and having a tube shoved forcibly down his throat right in front of Kazuma. He'd jerked and spasmed, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head. It had gotten to where his movements had overwhelmed the EMT's, and so Kurama had been strapped down to his traveling gurney.

The straps, the tube, the blood seeping down Kurama's neck and covering his face... Kazuma had not known what to do but mutely follow the orders of nurses and technicians who bade him to follow to a back room where he could sit down and be cleaned. Kurama's blood was still upon him, mixed with bile and a milky white substance that was immediately confirmed to be lye. His clothes had been taken from him, changed for green scrubs, and a stinging water-based substance had been scrubbed onto Kazuma's hands and face... a deterrent for lye, he'd been told.

In the waiting room of the ER, Kazuma found himself unable to do anything but wait in fear and pray. He'd realized after sitting there numbly for thirty minutes that absolutely no one knew about Kurama's predicament; it had taken him a great deal of strength to force himself to call Yusuke. He feared Yusuke would not pick up after the tiff with Kurama beside the parking lot; Keiko had picked up instead.

Now, they were on their way, and Kazuma prayed they would get there soon.

With his head between his legs and his hands laced behind his neck, Kazuma breathed as slowly and deeply as he could (orders from a nurse that he dare not disobey), but a numb feeling was creeping down from his neck and settling into his chest.

He was cut off from the rest of the world, in a purgatory alone known to him upon the couch of the waiting room.

But the sounds of footsteps, hammering upon the floor, reminded Kazuma that misery loved company as he raised his tear stained face to look towards the door; he was unsurprised to find Yusuke and Keiko there, haggard and horrified in a half kept state of hurried fear.

They saw him in scrubs with tears upon his face, and immediately joined him.

"Oh my god, what happened-?!" Keiko demanded, heaving for breath as she stopped before Kazuma. Both of them were now out of their funeral clothes, no doubt having changed as soon as they got home. Yusuke's left eye had a deep purple hoof mark around it, evidence of the earlier fight; his face was bloodless with fear, eyes usually so warm now cold and wide.

"He... tried to swallow lye-" Kazuma's voice was strange and clumsy in his own ears; he scoffed at himself even as he spoke. "Tried? He did. He swallowed lye."

"Lye- oh my goodness!" Keiko clapped a hand over her mouth; dammit, it didn't help that the empty bottle of lye was still in the pocket of his scrubs- evidence to be used later no doubt. It was as heavy as a brick against Kazuma's hammering chest.

"What did you do?" Yusuke demanded at once.

"I punched him." Kazuma damned his words even as he said them; to lay a hand upon Kurama in such a way... he could hardly believe that he'd done it. "I punched him to make him throw it up-!"

He sobbed into his hands, unable to hold back before his two closest friends in such a time of need. "I didn't know what else to do!" he wailed, though it was a shitty excuse for hitting the man he loved. Keiko's hands were upon his back and neck, holding him even as he sobbed into his hands.

"Where is he now?" Yusuke asked.

"They're-" Kazuma needed to take several deep breaths, "getting x-rays. Trying to see the damage to his esophagus. He's already had two seizures-"

Keiko's hands were the only thing keeping him grounded as they rubbed soothing circles into his back.

"Jesus god." Yusuke collapsed beside him on the sofa, his horror in tandem with Kazuma.

After a while, Keiko sat down between them, a wide berth left by the two men as they clung to the arms of the sofa and prayed for an end from this ugly nightmare. Could it be that only a week ago all of them were happy? Could it be that only a few weeks ago Kurama had turned twenty five? That Kazuma had kissed him under the stars on the roof of their home and made love to him? Kurama's laughter, his twinkling eyes, seemed a century gone... yet it had only been a few weeks.

It made no sense. It was pure madness.

It was a long time before anyone spoke again, but Yusuke was the first in the quiet of the waiting room. "Where did he get the lye?" he asked, hollow voiced and somber.

"I have no idea," Kazuma mumbled, for even now he had no idea how Kurama had managed to put lye into his damn tea cup _right in front of him! _Kazuma had seen absolutely nothing, but he'd been only feet away! If the water in the teapot hadn't tipped him off... he dared not finish that thought.

"Lye..." Keiko said the word, feeling the weight of it in her mouth. Her fear was obvious, "Surely he knew what drinking that might do to him-"

"He's Kurama," Yusuke spat, bitter. "Of course he knew, that's why he did it."

He looked away, rubbing his face with his hands; it was as if he couldn't sit still, suddenly rocking upon the sofa and unable to look his wife in the face.

"I shouldn't have said what I said," Yusuke whispered, his face turned away but his tone thick with self-hatred.

"Do _not_ blame yourself-" Keiko tried to touch him as she'd touched Kazuma, to hold him, but Yusuke jerked away right out of her hands.

"If I hadn't fucking goaded him-" Yusuke cursed himself; his voice broke, "If I had kept my stupid mouth shut-"

Kazuma could hear the tears in Yusuke's voice. Still Yusuke would not look at either of them.

"You were afraid, Yusuke." Keiko tried to touch him again, but Yusuke was shrinking from her hands as if she was slapping him instead of soothing him, "We all were. I've never heard Kurama act so indifferent and cold in light of a death. It was frightening-"

"He wasn't indifferent," Yusuke seethed through clenched teeth. Kazuma could now see the edge of his face and the tears that rolled fat and thick upon his cheeks. "He was suffering. He was suffering and I didn't see it-" Yusuke broke off again, a quiet sob escaping his lips. "Because I'm the stupidest motherfucker alive-"

He could not finish, suddenly burying his face into the arm of their sofa to keep Keiko and Kazuma from seeing his tears. Keiko was pulling him back up, trying to put her arms around him, but it was a difficult job when Yusuke was fighting her every step of the way.

"No," Keiko murmured lovingly into the crook of his neck, able to cling tight to him with a hand about his waist and in his hair. Kazuma could see Yusuke holding tight to the hand upon his waist, his grip deathly hard. "No, you are not."

"I don't even know why people put up with me," Yusuke whispered, unable to speak any louder than a hush for the emotion and the weight in his voice. His face was screwed up, his eyes closed, "for the shit that I do and say- I'm fucking worthless- I let a friend nearly kill himself. A friend who's like a brother to me; who's in love with my best friend-"

Kazuma reached out across Keiko's lap and grabbed onto Yusuke's unclenched hand, squeezing it tightly. It was incredibly rare that Yusuke ever called Kazuma his 'best friend'.

"I'm sorry," Yusuke sobbed, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Kazuma whispered.

Suddenly the lye bottle felt a little lighter upon his chest.

"What k-kind of a person am I-" Yusuke demanded of the air, but Kazuma was the one to answer.

"The best kind," Kazuma said at once; he did not regret his word choice, "Because you're here with me right now even though a few hours ago Kurama nearly choked you to death, and you have no regrets about it. You're here because you love your friends like your family, because we are your family..." Kazuma paused sniffing, "So we're gonna have to do what families do... and just sit and wait here together."

And so they did.

Four hours passed, and nothing changed.

Six hours passed, and nothing changed.

Eight hours passed and suddenly they realized that it was ten at night and no one had thought to call Kurama's step family. Not only that, they were starving, and so Keiko made a succession of calls (simply because she was the only one capable of speaking calmly) to both the Hatenaka's, Shizuru, and a local sub delivery.

Nine hours passed, and their couch was now occupied by six people. Keiko sat in Yusuke's lap sleeping, Kazuma sat beside him, and Shizuru and Yukina took up the other end of the couch. Hatanaka, exhausted and bent over in grief, sat across from them in an unoccupied chair.

Ten hours passed, and nothing changed.

Eleven hours passed, and nothing changed.

Twelve hours...

He waited without knowing when the end would come, and a ball of panicky string wound tight round his chest. Every minute without an answer was an hour, every hour a day, and suddenly Kazuma Kuwabara found himself in a hole of anxiety that he could not escape from. The regret that piled upon him was a massive stone, crushing him under its god awful weight. Every moment in which he'd slipped up, made a mistake, not done what he was supposed to have done, suddenly seemed tantamount to dooming him to hell; how could he have been so fucking foolish and careless? How, when so much had been on the line? When the one thing he treasured most was suddenly his to lose forever.

What he would have given in that moment to see Kurama's smiling face, to hear him whisper words of comfort. What he would have done... to know that there was a second chance available to him. To know that all was not lost, and not in vain.

He waited for a sign, for a voice, for anything... Yusuke's head in his lap; the pair of them squashed together upon an uncomfortable couch in the waiting room of Sariashiki Hospital. The clock struck two in the morning, and a soft gong peeled back another miserable hour of perpetual anticipation.

The gong was finished.

Footsteps... footsteps upon the tile.

Kazuma picked his head up from his shoulder, blinking around blearily at the deserted waiting room to see an older and haggard man coming towards them from the hall. He was wearing scrubs, his mouth shield down around his neck and deep bags underneath his eyes. He looked damn ready to pull his hair out, and Kazuma couldn't blame him.

He stopped before Kazuma, observing them all sleeping upon the couch.

Twelve hours and five minutes had passed, and _finally _something changed.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kazuma had been a child, he'd heard his mother say "nothing good ever happens after midnight"; so far, he was yet to find an exception to the rule.

"Did you come in with Shuichi Minamino?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah, I did." Kazuma sat up a little straighter on the sofa, praying to god for good news. Yusuke stirred on his lap, sitting up and blinking about blearily; when he caught sight of the doctor he did a double take and immediately rubbed his eyes to focus. Kazuma heard Yusuke mumbling to Keiko to get up, so that suddenly all three of them were now in a conversation with this haggard man who looked like he could use with a ten hour nap.

"I'm Doctor Kotsura." Kotsura shook Kazuma's hand.

"Kuwabara Kazuma."

"Who are you in relation to Minamino?" Kotsura asked.

"I'm-" Kazuma could not help but blush even as he said it; it was rare that people outside their circle understood his role in Kurama's life. "His partner."

"We need a family member." Kotsura grimaced, but their saving grace was found in Hatanaka who looked up from the floor; Kazuma had thought him sleeping but he'd been wrong. Hatanaka was awake, and though he looked ready to keel over and die he still nodded to the doctor in greeting.

"I'm here," Hatanaka said.

Doctor Kotsura looked a little more at ease as he turned back to Kazuma; Shizuru was still asleep on the couch. For the moment, Kazuma did not wake her. God only knows she'd come straight from work and was probably dead; she hadn't even changed out of her policeman's uniform.

"So this was an attempted suicide, is what I'm gathering," Kotsura said.

"Yes." Kazuma immediately reached for his breast pocket to hand over the empty bottle of lye to the doctor. He took it, examined it (after slipping on a pair of glasses) and nodded in thanks as he stuck it in his own pocket.

"Thank you. I'll be keeping this."

"Can I see him?" Kazuma begged.

"No." Kotsura shook his head, and suddenly Kazuma could see what awful strain the man was under. He looked like as broken as a war vet in his scrubs and mask, "No... he's not doing well."

"Oh god!"

It had been what he'd feared; that Kurama would die, and suddenly his eyes were burning and his throat was closing up. He turned, hiding his face from the doctor; yet where Kazuma turned to grief, Yusuke turned to anger. He rose up off the couch, hands on his hips and a murderous look in his eye.

"If he's not doing well then shouldn't we be back there, dammit!?" Yusuke demanded. Kotsura bristled but held his ground, "We're like family to him! Shit, Kuwabara's fucking in love with him! If something happens-"

"His _physical _condition is stabilizing," Kotsura corrected Yusuke tersely, and Kazuma let out an audible breath as he sagged with exhaustion.

Kurama was not dying. He could breathe.

"…but his emotional and mental conditions are rapidly deteriorating. He's broken through the straps of his bed twice and has attempted suicide again. Somehow, I don't know how, he managed to find a vine and wrapped it around his neck-? Even though there was absolutely no plant life in the room when I left twenty minutes prior to pick up his chest x-rays. I don't know he did it."

Yusuke whipped around, and Kazuma looked up to meet his eye. The pair of them stared at each other, knowing damn well how Kurama had managed such a feat. Multiple suicide attempts, broken restraints-? This hardly sounded like the Kurama that Kazuma loved. Surely it was just an exaggeration. This man was probably exhausted.

"We caught him, but just barely, and we've had to restrain him again. He's hostile and heavily drugged. He would attack his own mother and not feel regret," Kotsura concluded.

"I highly doubt that," Yusuke grumbled under his breath, but the doctor was turning away and towards Hatanaka who rose up from his seat (though his posture was slouched and sagged) to wearily shake Kotsura's hand.

"You're family, correct?"

"Yes. I'm his step-father."

"Where is his mother?"

Hatanaka bristled, looking away momentarily. Kazuma could see the pain in his face, yet still he kept talking, attempting to make some headway after twelve hours of nothing but silence from the back. "Dead. We spread her ashes earlier today."

Kotsura winced, but still carried on. "My deepest apologies," he said, and he did not sound insincere. "Does he have any biological family, anyone who I can contact as a stand-in care-taker-?"

"He's an adult, why should he need that?" Hatanaka grumbled.

At this, Kotsura looked behind him towards Yusuke who was still glaring and Kazuma who was close to weeping again from the sheer exhaustion and stress. Keiko was likewise beat beside him, merely holding onto his knee in quiet support.

"... We're going to have to move him to a psychiatric unit for further evaluation. Depending upon his mental condition, they may choose to keep him for an extended period of time-"

At once, the room erupted in voices.

"No, no it can't be that bad, surely-!" Hatanaka demanded.

"You've lost your damn mind if you think we're gonna send Kurama to some nut house-!" Yusuke snarled, slipping up and saying Kurama's real name. Yet it was Kazuma now who was on his feet, Kazuma who was in the doctor's face, Kazuma who felt uncontrollable rage pounding through his veins in light of exhaustion and fear. Kotsura was overwhelmed, bristling left and right, but he still held his guard even as Kazuma shouted in his face.

"He's not crazy!" Kazuma snapped, "He's just upset-"

"I don't think any of you fully understand the gravity of this situation!" Kotsura snapped back, perhaps a little tired of being ganged on at two in the morning. He eyed them all warily as he spoke, "Your step son-" he said to Hatanaka, "Your partner-" he said to Kazuma, "has just attempted to end his life. Twice. He has broken through several sets of restraints, and is completely out of touch with reality. He cannot be reached verbally, emotionally, or mentally. He has become so aggressive that we have had to put a guard in his room to keep him from hurting nurses and technicians. This is standard hospital procedure to protect not only the patient, but the staff and other patients. Do you understand?"

No. No, Kazuma did not understand. He did not understand how such words as 'aggressive' could be used to describe the man in his memory; sweet and loving Kurama who had kissed his nose and sat with his legs in Kazuma's lap, shirtless and sipping coffee in the bubble of their afterglow. Kind and gentle Kurama who had moved to sit in his lap and simply stayed there for an hour, his head upon Kazuma's shoulder and his fingers stroking Kazuma's collar bone as Kazuma read the Sunday paper.

Hatanaka was thinking fast, his hands upon his lips as his black eyes roved back and forth across the sterile tile floor. It was incredible that with his wife newly buried and his step son on the verge of a mental collapse at two in the morning he was still able to think.

"... You don't know if it'll be permanent?" Hatanaka asked. Kotsura shook his head.

"I cannot say. That is based on their own evaluations."

"And I can speak with them directly during the process?"

"Absolutely," Kotsura assured him.

"...He..." Hatanaka swallowed, looking away from the doctor to stare out at the opening of the waiting room; no one passed by. "He can't be committed without my signature?"

"No. We must have a stand-in care-taker," Kotsura said. "Someone to assume liability for his actions."

"Do they have to be related to him-"

"That is optimal, but-"

"Then it should be Kazuma," Hatanaka urged. Kotsura turned around, looking at Kazuma expectantly, but Kazuma was speechless! How could Hatanaka think that he would give any such signature-!?

"I'm not committing him!" Kazuma shouted. He was furious! "I'm not putting him in some fucking loony bin! He's not crazy, he doesn't belong there!"

"No one is using the word 'crazy' but you!" Kotsura snarled, finally losing his patience, "He's not crazy, I completely agree. He's upset. He's very upset, and we cannot help him here. It doesn't matter how much we care for his physical condition if he's only going to try and kill himself again-!"

"He wouldn't-!" but Kazuma's words were weak and useless in his mouth as Kotsura and Hatanaka both glared at him. He realized now how feeble and foolish the phrase 'he wouldn't' was in light of this terrible situation.

He would... and all three men knew it.

"Who do I need to speak to?" Hatanaka asked, turning his dark gaze to Kotsura who seemed just as foul tempered in that moment.

"I have a technician down the hall," Kotsura said. "Come with me."

Hatanaka reached down into his shirt pocket to put on his glasses, rubbing his eyes as Kotsura left for the door; before he followed, he gave Kazuma warning.

"Stay here," Hatanaka said. "Let me speak with them, and ... assess the situation." he did not sound hopeful, "I suggest you call your family for your own support. We need to take care of one another."

He turned and left, following Doctor Kotsura out into the hallway and around the corner where they vanished from sight.

Kazuma crashed back into his seat. The jump was enough to wake Shizuru, who looked around alarmed to see Kazuma hunched over, pale faced and frightened. Yusuke was still on his feet, agape at the sudden turn of events.

It seemed he had no idea what to do; their leader was leaderless.

"They're gonna commit him!" Kazuma sobbed, throwing his hands up over his eyes lest Keiko see him weeping; there was no point in hiding but still he tried.

"No!" Keiko put her hands upon him, trying to sooth him despite how useless it was. Kazuma could feel Shizuru's eyes upon him and shame flooded his face; she must think him so weak. "No, they're just going to talk to him for a little bit, make him feel better- I swear it's not as frightening as it sounds! If Kurama gets help, he'll be able to pull through this faster-"

Kazuma had no more words. He could not tell if Keiko was lying to make him feel better, or telling the truth. All he knew was that he felt powerless and small. He felt like Kurama was behind twenty brick walls and he couldn't break through to save him. All he could do was beat on the cement and scream.

"I'm calling dad-"

"No!" Kazuma snarled, glaring up at Shizuru even as she pulled out her cellphone. It was two in the damn morning, if Jiro got a call now, he'd know something was wrong.

"Kazuma!" Shizuru's voice was angry and commanding, authoritative to the bone... a policeman's tone. They all looked at her, suddenly remembering that she was older than them and more experience. "I'm calling dad."

And so she did.

"It's going to be okay," Keiko whispered, rubbing Kazuma's arms, "It's going to be okay."

Kazuma buried his face in his hands again, and wept, ashamed.

Kazuma could not bear to sit around and wait for his father to show like a child in need of comfort or guidance. He wanted to make changes happen, he wanted to free Kurama from these doctors and their demands, and so he and Yusuke left the waiting room to travel down the hall where they found Hatanaka sitting on a small bench outside of an ICU room. He had papers in his hands, and was looking them over with bleary tired eyes. He blinked repeatedly, wiping moisture from them, only to hunch over and start reading again.

Kazuma and Yusuke leaned against the opposite wall, unsure of what to do; Hatanaka did not speak to them. He was too busy reading, and so tired that it seemed he might fall asleep at any moment.

Suddenly, there was a rush.

Doctor Kotsura came running down the hall, two muscular medical aids and two nurses right behind him. He punched a code hurriedly into a metal panel by the sliding glass door of ICU room. Hatanaka leapt up from the bench, still holding the papers but clutching them tight to his chest as all five of them ran into the room. Before anyone could follow, one of the nurses turned and slammed the glass door back; it locked with a resounding metal sound.

Kazuma looked at Hatanaka; Hatanaka looked at Kazuma.

They waited.

About twenty minutes later, Doctor Kotsura appeared again. A sliding sheet divided the ICU ward behind the bolted glass door. As he stepped around it, he was wiping sweat from his brow and was holding a vine in his hands. He looked down at the vegetation, completely baffled, and stepped back out into the hall.

"...Well..." Kotsura said, feeble voice as he held up the vine for them to see; it was long and spiky, full of jagged thorns. It looked unnervingly like Kurama's rose whip. "I don't know how he did it-"

"God," Hatanaka breathed, taking the vine from Kotsura's shaking hands.

"He managed to break out of two different sets of cuffs…" Kotsura barely seemed to believe his own words. "I had already given him a dosage of benzodiazepine, yet somehow he was still moving?" This seemed to be more disturbing to Kotsura than the vine in Hatanaka's hands. "I had to give him another one! Two, total! I've never had to do that to anyone in my entire career, and I've been a doctor for over thirty years."

"What did you give him?" Kazuma demanded. He'd heard the name but still couldn't fully process what it was.

"Benzodiazepine," Kotsura repeated, his tone shaking. He looked like he need a smoke, or three. "It's a high grade anti-anxiety medicine. I've seen it take men three times the size of you to the ground in under a minute; we use it for high-risk patients... but somehow, Minamino, one hundred forty two pounds and all, managed to keep moving?"

Kotsura made a noise, running a hand through his gray and thinning hair. "He's... still, now."

"So can we see him?" Kazuma demanded, now certain that Kurama was behind that glass door. He would do anything to get through, but he knew that a four digit code was required, after all he'd see Doctor Katsura stop to punch one in amid a chaotic rush. He'd need it if he wanted to get through.

Kotsura suddenly looked slightly guilty, and stared down at the floor before answering.

"We had to take... certain precautions."

"Like what?" Kazuma said. He didn't like the tone in Kotsura's voice.

"Well, he's tied to the bed, to keep him from harming himself or others-" Kotsura said, but Kazuma could tell this was not what was troubling Kotsura. "But... we also had to cut off his hair."

Kazuma was stunned.

Kurama's lovely, beautiful, dark red hair... so thick and fragrant, draping down his back like a waterfall or hanging in soft tresses upon his chest- those locks that Kazuma had so lovingly wrapped his fingers around, had tousled with when they showered together, watching the soap and water turn that dark red to black with moisture – gone?

"... Why?" Kazuma whispered. He felt the words slip through his lips without being able to stop them.

"You have to understand…" Kotsura was regaining his nerve with the news now spilt, but everyone was staring at him with such shock and horror that it was starting to make him sweat again. "He somehow managed to hide a vine in it and attempted to strangle himself! We tried to keep his hair out of his face and in a bun, but it didn't help... I don't like doing cosmetic reparations but I had no choice!" He truly sounded helpless. Had it been anyone but Kurama that he cared for, Kazuma might have felt sorry for the man. "I had to issue the order. You may not want to see him-"

Kazuma took a step forward, then another, and though he knew it was dangerous and wrong he could feel his spirit energy beginning to rise up inside him, threatening to burst out.

A lightbulb overhead flickered, its electric wiring starting to feel the effects; Kazuma could not deny the heat on his skin or the fire in his eyes. "Put me back there," he said. "Now."

He didn't know why Kurama having his hair cut off made him so angry, but it _did. _

"I cannot have you in there if you are going to frighten or confuse him with your own anger," Kotsura warned; Kazuma had to marvel that though this man must be feeling some kind of effect from Kazuma's energy he still managed to hold his ground, to keep his authority. Then again, he'd been an ICU doctor for thirty years. Perhaps he'd dealt with this before.

"I know you are upset, I understand and I sympathize," Kotsura urged, but Kazuma doubted either was true, "but Minamino is my top priority tonight, and until he is taken to Matsuzawa in-" Kotsura glanced down at his watch, "forty five minutes, it is my job to ensure that he does not undergo anymore mental exhaustion or strain. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." Yusuke glowered, a step behind Kazuma. Yusuke hated authority and no doubt wanted to punch Kotsura's lights out. Still, he somehow managed to refrain. Kudos to him, thought Kazuma bitterly, for he was closer to losing his temper than Yusuke was.

"Can we follow him to Matsuzawa?" Hatanaka asked.

"No." Doctor Kotsura shook his head. "Matsuzawa is not an open hospital; it's a psych ward and is only open to visitors during set hours."

"But-" Kazuma cried out, looking at the papers in Hatanaka's hands. Had Kurama actually been committed?! Were they going to take him away?! Kazuma would not let it happen!

"When are their hours?" Hatanaka asked.

"I'm unsure of the specifics," Kotsura said. "They'll have a representative here to sign the paperwork, you can ask them as many questions as you like."

Hatanaka seemed satisfied, but Kazuma was not. He seethed, words failing to come; Kotsura gave him a sympathetic look, glancing at his watch again.

"Look, give me ten minutes and I will let you back. Just you two-" he gestured to Kazuma and Hatanaka. "I'm sorry sir, but you'll have to wait here," he said to Yusuke. With that, he walked back over to the panel, punched in the code, slipped through the door, and was gone again behind the curtain.

Kazuma turned on Hatanaka.

"How could you?" Kazuma whispered. "How could you fucking do it?"

"How could I what?" Hatanaka demanded angrily. "What is right and responsible?!"

"Sign him away like he's a nutcase, like he isn't your stepson! We should be the ones to care for him not-"

"You cannot care for him in this condition, neither of us can!" Hatanaka had lost his temper now, glaring at Kazuma as he clutched the damning papers to his chest protectively, "You have to trust the doctors at Matsuzawa, you have to trust their staff-"

"Well, I don't!" Kazuma snarled. "I don't trust anyone with him! Anyone!"

"You have no choice!" Hatanaka said, and there was a strange fluctuation in tone that caught Kazuma's attention. Suddenly Hatanaka was sombre, looking away, unable to meet his eyes. "Believe me when I say that I am afraid, too-"

"Really? Because I don't see that-"

"He is my son just as much as he is Shiori's!" Her name was an ugly gunshot in the air that sent everyone flinching.

"...Was," Hatanaka corrected himself. He suddenly looked like he might be ill.

Their argument might have continued, might have become heated again with Shiori's name still thick in the air and their memories, but Kotsura appeared behind the curtain and opened the glass door again to step back out into the hall.

Hatanaka and Kazuma shared a glance; they would hide their argument for now, say nothing lest neither of them be allowed to see Kurama.

Kotsura looked at them.

"Are we ready?"

Yusuke leaned against the wall of the ICU, declining comment as he nodded to Kazuma. Kazuma now understood that in that room, he represented not only himself but also Yusuke; he represented everyone who wanted Kurama out of a psych ward and not in one.

Hatanaka and Kazuma both stepped forward; Kotsura punched pressed a sequence of numbers into a little electronic keypad on the door. The latch clicked, and the three of them stepped inside.

The room was cold and dark, with low lighting and a curtain still dividing them to all that lay beyond. As Kotsura slid the door back and allowed it to lock, he held out a hand to keep Kurama and Hatanaka from going behind the curtain just yet.

"Standard psychiatric patient procedure," Kotsura warned. "Do not engage the patient beyond simple conversation and interaction; he's very confused - now is not the time for deep discussions."

"We understand," Hatanaka spoke for both of them.

Kotsura took the curtain divider in hand and pulled it back.

Kazuma saw what lay beyond and immediately had to look away.

Upon a lone bed, tethered at the ankles, wrists... strapped about the legs and arms, barely able to breathe under his constrictions... A guard sitting next to him in a plush chair, regarding them silently.

This could not be Kurama. But it was.

His hair had been erratically chopped off, leaving him looking a bit like Yusuke with a wild flare; his beautiful face was sunken in, his eyes dead even though they were open. Despite Kazuma and Hatanaka's appearance, Kurama did nothing to engage either of them. He was listless, as devoid of life as a rag doll; the only hint of reaction came from the slight twitch of his fingers... but they were small glimmers that barely lasted a second at most.

It was inhumane. It was horrific. It was beyond comprehension and Kazuma had no words.

His Kurama, his beautiful, loving, gentle, talented, ingenious Kurama... brought so low. Brought so far beneath what Kazuma knew him to be.

He suddenly hated Katsura; hated him more than he'd hated any other man in his life... even though he knew that it was not Katsura's fault, and that it was wrong to hate a doctor who was only doing his job. The madness within Kurama was now reflected on the outside, and Kazuma could no longer ignore it.

Kazuma shook his head, looking away again. He made no sound, but he could feel tears running down his cheeks as he pressed his head into the wall and leaned there, exhausted. The guard got up from the chair, standing beside it instead.

"Do you need to stand outside-?" Katsura asked. Kazuma felt a hand upon his shoulder and brushed it off angrily.

"No," he spat.

He would not be denied Kurama any longer.

He left the wall, coming to Kurama's side and dropping down in the chair the guard had abandoned.

He suddenly saw a lock of red hair that had fallen beneath Kurama's arm; he reached out with trembling fingers and picked it up, feeling the smooth, chopped strands beneath his fingers.

Before anyone could stop him, he pocketed the lock of hair; he did not know why. The guard said nothing though he witnessed the whole scene.

He touched his mouth and nose with a shaking hand, reaching out timidly as he made to take Kurama's hand in his own.

"Baby..." Kazuma whispered, barely a breath upon the air. "Baby, can you hear me?"

Kurama said nothing.

Kazuma could not bear it; he leaned over the bed and before anyone could stop him or say otherwise he placed a small, dry kiss upon Kurama's forehead. He did not care who saw, and he did not care what they said.

His gut said that Kurama needed him, and his gut had never been wrong before.

"Don't," Kotsura warned. He felt hands upon his shoulder, pulling him back from Kurama - the guard had finally intervened. Kazuma brushed him off angrily, letting go of Kurama's hand and whirling around to confront them all. What did they think he was? A weak pushover? Did they imagine he would so easily step aside and allow them to treat Kurama any way that they pleased? To fill him up with drugs and leave him tethered to a bed?

"Are you insane?" Kazuma whispered, though he did not know why; it wasn't as if Kurama was sleeping. "Look at him, he's practically dying and you won't let me hold him?!"

"I'm sorry, but that's procedure." Kotsura was growing defensive again; Hatanaka said nothing at his side. He wasn't even looking at Kurama, instead holding the committal papers to his chest and staring at the door. It was as if he was ashamed. "He's very dangerous-"

"He's not dangerous!" Kazuma shouted; his whisper was gone, eradicated by the word. "He's just upset! He'd never hurt me!"

Kotsura pointed a finger, his jaw locked tight in sudden nervous fear.

Kazuma looked down; Kurama's entire hand had twitched.

Shocked, Kazuma reached down and held his hand again; had Kurama twitched his hand because he wanted Kazuma to hold him? Kazuma certainly liked to think so.

He did so, squeezing Kurama's pale, cold, fingers. Silently, internally, he forswore that he would not leave Kurama's side. They would have to drag him away.

"Either you're going to control yourself, control your voice and tone, or I'm going to make you leave," Kotsura said. He glanced down at his watch. Kazuma set his jaw, grinding his teeth together as his heart began to pound.

"I'd like to see you try," Kazuma growled. "I'm not leaving his side."

"Do not threaten me," Kotsura warned, "or I will have you removed from this hospital entirely."

"You couldn't keep me from him. Even if you did, I'd find a way back. I'd find a way to his side. You couldn't stop me." Kazuma squeezed Kurama's fingers hard.

Kotsura's eyes gleamed, "Step back now, or I will call security... and that will be the end of it-"

"Call the cops, I don't give a fuck," Kazuma interrupted. "He needs me. He may not be able to tell me so himself, but he needs me, and I won't leave him here alone like this-"

Kotsura emitted a deep sigh. He gestured silently to the guard behind Kazuma.

Kazuma turned, looked, and saw the guard begrudgingly pushing upon his walkie talkie- Kazuma's heart leapt in his chest.

"Code white, ICU room 4," the guard said.

_"__Copy that, code white ICU R 4,__"_came the response.

Code white? What the hell was code white?

Kazuma braced himself, holding tight to Kurama's hand.

"I'm sorry but you leave me with no choice," Kotsura said. "I have to protect my patient."

"Protect him from me?!" Kazuma demanded. He did not care if he shouted now; what difference did it make? If men were coming to fight him, to pull him away from Kurama, then he would shout all he liked. "Are you fucking kidding me? I love him!" he screamed.

Hatanaka flinched but Kazuma did not care, he carried on anyway. "He's the best thing that's ever happened in my life! We've made a home together! We belong together! I won't let you do this to him! I won't let you take him from me-!"

He heard the door open; it was all the warning he was given before six security guards came into the room and made a bee line for him. Kazuma had to let go of Kurama's hand, bringing a fist up for a swing-!

"No!" Kazuma snarled, "I won't leave him!"

But he had no choice.

Six pairs of hands were grabbing at him, pulling him in several different directions, and the combined strength was too much for Kazuma to take in his weakened, exhausted state. He punched and kicked, shoved and manhandled, but he was being forcibly drug back by each of the security officers who wore determined looks upon their faces; they drug him hard towards the glass door.

"God dammit!" Kazuma snarled, struggling against them even as his own feet betrayed him. "Kurama-!" Kazuma shouted over the heads of the officers, "Kurama, listen to me! I'm going to get you out of here! Don't be afraid, I'm going to get you home! If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to get- you- _home!-__"_

But it was too late.

He was hauled from the room, cursing and screaming all the while.

In the silence that followed as the glass door closed, Kotsura rubbed his brow and gave Hatanaka a sullen, dark look. Hatanaka did not return it.

"I apologize for his behavior," Hatanaka whispered.

"Don't," Kotsura cut him off. "I've seen worse done in the name of love. That is not the first time I've been threatened."

A silence crept between them, stretching on. Kotsura checked his watch again.

"I'll page you when the men from Matsuzawa are here," Doctor Kotsura said to the guard. "Make sure he remains secure."

"Yes, sir," the guard replied; for emphasis, he reached over and touched the strap Kazuma had been closest to. It was still securely fastened.

The guard nodded to Kotsura.

Kotsura gestured silently to Hatanaka, and as he left, Hatanaka followed behind.

Suddenly the guard was alone with Kurama again, and as he resumed his seat in the chair beside Kurama's bed he picked up the Sudoku book he'd been working through. For a moment, there was only silence save for the faint scratches of pencil upon paper, but it was broken by the muted whimpers of Kurama.

His face strained with agony, his hands and forehead strapped down tight to the bed. As he wept openly, the guard could not help but reach out to take Kurama's hand in his own and give it a comforting squeeze.

"You won't be coming back here," the guard murmured softly. "And if you do, it'll be on your own terms... you won't be on a bed."

Still, Kurama wept.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a pounding in Kurama's brain, a dull and aching drum that filled him from head to toe with its rhythm. His mouth burned, his throat felt like it was on fire, and his tongue was thick with a cottony texture. Light was above him, someone was moving around him, but Kurama could not for the life of him seem to sit up and open his eyes. He tried, several times, to move his feet and his hands, but it was as if he was strapped down-

_A fiery mind numbing pain in his mouth- _

_ A tube being forced down his throat-_

_ A vine, wrapping tight around his neck- _

_ A doctor pressing a button- _

_ Kazuma screaming his name, forswearing- _

Kurama's eyes snapped open.

He was strapped to a bed in a white and empty room, and a woman in a doctor's coat with short brown hair was smiling at him. She wore square glasses and had her hair back in a miniature pony tail. She was sitting next to him in a visitor's chair, a plastic clip board upon her lap, and her legs were crossed; she was wearing a black skirt, and pantyhose... smart, conservative shoes with a short wedge and plenty of arch support.

Kurama looked around, taking in the high window beside him through which light poured in; a courtyard lay beyond, with a fountain in the middle; beyond that forest. He took in the door to his room, which was locked and made of steel; it had one very small window upon it which seemed to be made of incredibly thick glass. Across from his bed was a steel wardrobe as well a desk from where the doctor had retrieved her chair.

Besides that, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"... Where am I?" Kurama managed to ask; his voice was hoarse and damaged from lye. His head _ached. _

"You're in Matsuzawa Hospital," the doctor said. "Ward C, a high security area. Room two hundred, the very last room on a long hall that faces East." She gestured to the window; she had red manicured nails. "It is Thursday, January fifteenth, at eleven o' eight in the morning."

The word 'Mastuzawa' made Kurama's blood run cold; Matsuzawa was a psychiatric hospital in Mushiori City... and was known for housing criminally insane patients. If he was in Ward C, then he was no doubt on the same hall as some of those rumored inmates.

He had been sent to a psychiatric ward.

Kurama looked down at his straps, at his pale lithe limbs and all the bruises that were upon them. Where had he obtained such bruises? It looked like he'd been aggressively manhandled. Something likewise did not feel right about his head, but Kurama couldn't figure it out. It was as if his head was lighter, a feeling that made no sense to him. He turned his head left and right, trying to figure out the root of the sensation, only to realize that his long hair had been hacked off.

Kurama's eyes widened, feeling the stiff locks aside his skull and ears. He stared at the doctor now in fear, wondering what her purpose was and how long she had been sitting here, watching him.

"Who...?"

"Am I?" she finished, offering him a cheery smile that did not seem forced or fake. "I am Doctor Tomoe Gozen. You can call me Tomoe. I am in charge of Ward C patients, and I am your psychiatrist." She tilted her head to the side. "How are you feeling today?"

Kurama felt terrified, but he knew that if he said as much to her, she would take it to offense or as a sign of his own weakness. He was torn. Part of him wanted to play his cards incredibly carefully, and to get out of the hospital and away from these straps. The other half of him wanted to lay in this bed forever, to rot into the mattress and never see the light of day again, to tell Tomoe every disgusting truth about his life, till she declared him criminally insane and put him in a padded cell - a fitting punishment for his heinous crimes.

What was the point of keeping up appearances anymore? After all, Shiori was dead.

Kurama's stomach clenched.

He realized he'd gone a full minute without response.

"I don't know," he said.

"Are you feeling awake?" Tomoe offered. "Alert? Or are you still groggy? They had you on some pretty powerful juice when you got here." She said it in such a way as if they were friends, and not patient and doctor. Kurama did not know what to make of her.

He had no idea how he felt, on any level of the word, and his voice broke as he answered her again.

"I don't know," he repeated, looking away.

"Hmm," she said, setting her clip board aside; Kurama realized he had a small bedside table, but it was difficult to see what with his being strapped to the bed. Tomoe reached into the breast pocket of her doctor's coat and pulled out a small black flashlight which she clicked and shined into Kurama's eyes. He winced, looking away. "Let me check your eyes."

He relented a little, staring into the blinding white light.

"You have such an interesting eye color," she complimented him, clicking off the light. He blinked rapidly, his vision temporarily off kilt as his eyes re adjusted. When he could see well again, she was back to smiling in her chair with her clipboard in her lap.

"You seem to be awake. But this must be quite a shock, to go to sleep in one place and wake up in another."

"How did I get here?" Kurama asked.

"You were transported here by ambulance very early this morning," Tomoe replied. "Around five, I believe. We arrived at work at the same time." She smiled again.

"Where is Kazuma?" Kurama asked, praying that he was near, that he might be able to hear if Kurama screamed at the top of his lungs. But Tomoe just looked confused as she cocked her head.

"Kazuma?" she repeated in question.

So it seemed Kazuma was not here. Kurama found himself blinking back tears as he looked away towards the window.

"No one has been to see you as of yet," Tomoe explained gently; at this she patted his arm, perhaps wanting to comfort him. "But that's only because I haven't made my introduction until now, nor started my consultation. As soon as I'm finished, you can see whoever you like; but first we need to find out why you are here, and get you well."

"I'm not sick," Kurama tried to say, but Tomoe made a worried noise that told him straight away she wasn't buying his bullshit.

"You swallowed lye," she corrected him, and she sounded oddly impressed by the fact.

To be fair, it was harsher than dish soap.

"You were very sick last night," she offered. "You still have burns inside your mouth, and your voice is damaged. Does it hurt to swallow?"

Kurama swallowed, trying to wet his tongue with saliva. He felt as if he had strep throat, each muscle contraction making his eyes water with pain. "Yes," he whispered.

"That will probably last for some time. But don't worry!" she encouraged. "We have a wonderful physical therapy unit, and they have lots of exercises to try for voice repair."

"How long am I-" Kurama could not finish the sentence, could not dare to ask when surely he already knew the answer; they were never letting him leave this place. His mind wandered to his shop, of the home above it, of Eikichi and their bed... of Kazuma next to him, asleep with his arm over Kurama's stomach. He had failed to follow through with his own death and in so doing had damned himself to a life without all of it. Kurama could not decide whether to be happy at his receiving the punishment he deserved or to lament at all he had lost.

"I'm not insane," he managed. "I know you think that I am, but I'm not."

"I don't think you're insane," Tomoe offered; Kurama was shocked to feel a tissue being pressed to his cheek; the wet trail of his tear wiped up by Tomoe's hand, "I think you're sad, scared... and you probably want to go home. But I don't think you're insane." She assured him.

Kurama could not tell if she was lying or not, and it truly infuriated him when so much was on the line.

"And tell me, doctor," Kurama said coldly, "is that your professional opinion?"

"It is." Tomoe just carried on, taking no offense to his harsh and jaded tone. "Free of charge. I could make you pay a rate if that would help it to seem more official."

Kurama could not abide such a joke when thoughts of his bed and Kazuma's arms were still bouncing around his head. He wept silently, his face turned away from Tomoe in the hope that she wound not see.

"You're not insane, Shuichi," she said, this time softer.

"My name is Kurama," Kurama growled; the name Shuichi suddenly brought an anger about in him. Who was Shuichi anyway but the lost soul of a fertilized egg he'd dominated and destroyed? Who was Shuichi but a sham and a shell made to protect one frail little human from feeling pain in a world where pain was law and loss was inevitable? "Do not call me Shuichi."

"I won't," she replied at once. Kurama heard a scratching sound as if she was writing something on her clipboard.

"I suppose it would be your job to know if I am insane or not, seeing as it is your job to handle the insane."

"No," Tomoe corrected him. "That is not my job."

"Then what is your job?" Kurama asked, rolling his head upon the pillow to glare at her. She could try to be friendly all she wanted, but Kurama knew it was a game and she was trying to play him.

"My job is to listen."

He snorted derisively and looked away, but she continued on. "My job is to listen, learn, and offer insight when the way feels dark." She paused. "What is your job? What do you do for a living?"

Kurama rolled his head to look at her, to observe her kind and warm smile... the way her manicured nails gleamed in the light overhead.

Why not? He had nowhere else to be.

"I sell healing herbs to demons," he said.

Tomoe did not flinch, nor did she look surprised in anyway. She didn't even make to write on her clipboard.

"Demons," she mused. "Do they pay well?"

"I've never been stiffed. Most people are afraid to cross me."

"I certainly would be afraid to cross someone who deals with demons."

"They know my reputation," Kurama said. "They don't give me any trouble."

"And what is your reputation?" Tomoe asked. Another opportunity to lie or tell the truth.

Kurama thought of Kazuma, and how he had beaten him when Kazuma had tried to save his life. Kurama did not deserve those loving and gentle arms.

"Heartless, unforgiving… the most dangerous of threats," Kurama said. "I work with a team, and I am often the strategist. I control plants," he added, just for the hell of it. What was the point of lying anymore? After lying to so many fucking people he ought to start telling the truth to someone.

"And does your team deal with demons too?" Tomoe asked, that pleasant smile never leaving. "Can they control plants?"

She was looking for repetitions in a hallucination. Kurama might have found it comical if this weren't so serious.

"All the time," Kurama replied. "But I am the only one with that particular power."

"Tell me about your team. Who are they? What are their names?"

"Urameshi Yusuke, Hiei... and Kuwabara Kazu-"

Saying the name out loud was too much. Kurama's voice broke; he had to look away again as his face began to contort in misery.

"Kazuma..." She repeated the name, no doubt recalling its mention before. Hearing it made Kurama want to cry; he tried to will himself against it, but it was of no use. "You wondered if he'd been to see you. Are you friends outside of work?"

Kurama did not answer, pressing his face sideways into the pillow in an attempt to muffle his small sobs.

"... Are you lovers?" Tomoe asked.

Kurama could not bear it; he turned and looked her full in the face.

"When can I see him?" Kurama asked, "Please let see him-"

"As soon as you're feeling better!" she urged, and her tone was back to soothing as she smiled. "What's the point in having a visit if you can't even hug your boyfriend?" She gestured to the straps.

"Let me out of these." Kurama strained a little against them, testing their worth. They were incredibly tight, made of cloth and metal, bolted with leather straps. He could not tear through them if he tried, unlike the thin plastic ones at the hospital.

These were true straps, made to restrain someone truly psychotic.

"I most certainly will," she promised him. "As a matter of fact, I aim to do so quite soon, but not today. Maybe tomorrow, depending upon if my pharmacist will answer her pager!" she said, patting her hip where a pager lay.

"You intend to medicate me."

"Well, yes. I do," Tomoe said, sounding slightly apologetic. She looked at him now frankly, her smile gone. "I do plan on trying out one or two medications, to see if one might help you. I will not hide my intentions from you, Kurama."

"You couldn't even if you wanted to."

"You're very perceptive," she agreed, relaxing a little in her chair with a small smile.

"It is my job to be," Kurama whispered.

"Well..." Tomoe looked at her clipboard. "It says here that your job is owner of a medicinal herb shop on 8th Street in Sariashiki, and you live above it." She looked up again, "That's where you swallowed the lye. Where did you find the lye?"

"We had some in our cabinet," Kurama mumbled.

"That's a very powerful chemical to keep next to the coriander," Tomoe said, once again trying for a joke. She was starting to remind him a bit of a mix between Keiko and Yusuke.

"I had to use it the day before on the drain…"

"The report says that you made a cup of tea, but it only had water and lye in it. You took it into the bedroom and then drank it." She looked at him again, slightly confused. "Why didn't you just drink it in the kitchen?"

"... Kazuma was there," Kurama said.

"And Kazuma was the one who found you?" Tomoe prompted further.

_A door busting clean off its hinges, falling flat to the floor in an earth shattering crash- _

"Yes." Kurama could not hide the pain in his voice.

Tomoe nodded, and he heard the scratching of pen on paper.

"What are you writing?" he asked.

"I am writing a note to myself to get Kazuma's phone number so I can call him and ask him a couple of questions about your behavior earlier that day along with more information about these demons you sell drugs to." She winked cheerily.

Kurama looked away, shaking his head.

A sudden cough tickled his throat, but as he seized in a fit a horrible burn filled his throat and he bit down at once upon his tongue.

"Careful now." She offered him a portable cup, one with a plastic lid and straw sticking out. A clear liquid resided within it. "Here, have a sip of this."

But even as she offered it to his parched lips he shrank back in alarm. If she thought he was going to sip a fucking random liquid-

But Tomoe just laughed.

"Oh, such a face," she said coyly. "It's water. See?" And with that she took a sip herself. Kurama watched, noting that the volume of the clear liquid visibly decreased; she had swallowed. She was not pretending. She offered him the straw again.

Kurama could not deny that he was incredibly thirsty. If she had swallowed it, it lacked medicine; he could trust that. A doctor could not be drugged and on call. He took the straw in his mouth and relished the sip of water. She allowed him to take several mouthfuls before Kurama pulled his head way.

"That ought to help," she said, setting the portable cup on the floor, out of his line of sight. "Try not to cough too deeply."

Kurama was unsure what to make of this strange woman, of her red manicured nails and her pleasant smile. She was bubbly and comical, but soothing and sweet. She listened, and she had yet to call him Shuichi twice. She'd heard him speak of demons and controlling plants, but had not dared to dissuade his 'illusion' or call for help. Instead, she had offered him water, and taken the first sip to prove her trust.

Kurama's mouth, now soothed by the liquid, burned a little less.

* * *

Kazuma could not go home, could not bear to lay in the bed that had been theirs, and so he slouched upon Yusuke's bar, bitter with his head in his arms. It was Thursday and a little after noon; but Yusuke and Keiko had both taken off work after the exhausting hospital trip. After being thrown out and followed onto the street by the hospital security, Kazuma had wandered the road without clear destination in mind until Yusuke had pulled him by the shirt collar into his car and taken him home. Kazuma had not left since, sleeping on their couch and waking up only when offered by Keiko who had given him a glass of orange juice and some aspirin for his pounding head ache. The entire lot of them looked like shit; Keiko was sullen and pale with bags underneath her lovely brown eyes. Yusuke was grim and kept rubbing his face as he moved about his personal kitchen, making them a meager breakfast. None of them were really hungry but they genuinely needed to eat. Kazuma sat upon a bar stool, Kurama's lock of hair before him, and watched as his breath made the long red strands flutter up only to drift back down in their hold. He'd put one of Keiko's berets around the lock, suddenly incredibly attached to it. It was all of Kurama that he could hold or touch... and so he would not let it go.

A vibrating in his pocket caught his attention in a heartbeat; he was getting a call on his cell phone. Yet when he sat up and took his phone out, he did not recognize the number. He glanced up at Yusuke who was waiting for him to pick up with wide eyes.

"Hospital," Yusuke said.

Kazuma picked up at once, clenching the lock of hair tight.

Keiko waited, stopping in the middle of peeling an orange. Yusuke stood beside her, his eyes never leaving Kazuma's face.

"Hello?" Kazuma said.

_"__Is this Kuwabara Kazuma?__" _a voice asked. It was bubbly and female.

"This is he."

_"__My name is Doctor Tomoe Gozen,__" _said the woman. _"__I__'__m Shuichi Minamino__'__s psychiatrist at Matsuzawa Hospital. He__'__s your boyfriend, correct?__" _

Kazuma could not help the gasp that fled past his lips. He looked at Yusuke who silently urged Kazuma to put the phone on speaker. Kazuma did so with shaking hands, setting the phone upon the counter top to hold Kurama's locket of hair.

"C-correct!" Kazuma blurted out. "How is he?"

_"At the moment he__'__s a little preoccupied with a fantasy world.__But I__'__m going to get to the root of it very soon, so don__'__t you worry. I called to ask you a couple of questions, if you don__'__t mind.__"_

"I-" Kazuma looked up where Keiko gestured helplessly. What more could they do but follow demands at this point? "I don't mind at all; can I see him?"

_"__Soon. Very soon, I promise,__"_Dr. Gozen replied; she sounded sincere, but Kazuma still wasn't sure. _"__First I need to get a bit more information as well as put him on a stabilizer. Hopefully it__'__ll help with the hallucinations he__'__s having.__"_

"Hal-" Kazuma choked, floundering with an open mouth; Kurama was having hallucinations? Dear God, when would this train to hell _stop? _"Hallucinations?!"

_"__Well, right now he thinks that he sells medicinal herbs to demons, that he can control plants, and that he is on a team of spirit detectives that deal with troublesome apparitions. He likewise is under the impression that his name is Kurama, not Shuichi... so we need to deal with that first.__"_Dr. Gozen laughed.

Kazuma made a noise before he could stop himself. Yusuke dropped the knife he was holding, making it clatter to the floor. Keiko just stared, her hand over her mouth.

What had Kurama _done? _

"Um..." Kazuma mumbled.

_"__I was wondering, has he always had these assumptions?__"_Dr. Gozen continued on. Keiko immediately waved her arms about signaling a huge 'no' with terrified eyes.

"No!" Kazuma blurted out, watching Keiko the entire time. "No, he just really loves plants. Maybe that's it."

_"__Quite.__"_

"And Kurama's a nickname we all use."

_"__I see.__"_

"And... and he has to deal with some really nasty people, they could be demonic in a way?" Kazuma said, knowing it was one hell of a stretch even as he said it.

_"__Mhmm.__"_Dr. Gozen had yet to tell him to stop.

"And we were on a team. We used to do d-detective work," Kazuma stumbled, for he knew no other way to explain it. "That's probably what it was about. It's just a small hiccup, right? I mean... he's not..." but the word 'crazy' could not pass through Kazuma's lips.

Yet it seemed Dr. Gozen understood.

_"__No,__"_she said at once, quite soothing in her tone. _"__No, he__'__s just a little confused right now. This upcoming Monday I was thinking it might do him some good to see you. He__'__s very upset about this whole affair, and misses you terribly. It may boost his morale, soothe him, to be able to see you.__"_

Kazuma felt like the knife Yusuke was picking up from the floor had been plunged into his chest. Kurama missed him terribly and was very upset- and he was _powerless _to comfort him. Kazuma could not imagine a darker pit of hell than the one he now resided in.

"God." He put his head in his hands, wishing he could just wake up.

_"__Tell me what happened the day Kurama tried to kill himself. When did this... break down start?__"_

"His mother died," Kazuma mumbled into his hands.

_"__When did this happen?__"_

"January tenth."

_"__I see...__"_

"We cremated her earlier that morning."

_"__Go on.__"_

"We got home around two..." Kazuma shuddered, the entire scene suddenly replaying itself; the milky tea cup, Kurama's haunted expression, the door caving in under his touch and blood upon the floor. "And when we got upstairs, to our kitchen he... made the tea..."

_"__Tell me about his mother. What was her name? What was her relationship with Kurama like?__"_

"Shiori Minamino," Kazuma said. "Kurama loved her very much."

His voice broke, and he immediately put a hand over his mouth. He did not want the doctor hearing him crying over the phone.

_"__And is he an only child?__"_

"Yes."

_"__Is his father alive?__"_

"They're estranged," Kazuma said, still quite bitter over the whole shooting incident.

_"__So it was just him and his mother, growing up?__"_

"Yeah."

_"__But I have paperwork here from a man who is his step-father.__"_

"She remarried a few years ago... but he isn't close to Kurama," Kazuma said; he still did not know how he felt about Hatanaka, but right now he certainly didn't like him.

_"__And what about you? Do you live together?__"_

"Yes," Kazuma whispered. He looked away, not wanting to see Yusuke or Keiko's faces as he suddenly thought of his home right across the street.

_"__And how long have you been together?__"_

"Over a year now," Kazuma said. Had it really only been a year?

_"__Okay! Well, I__'__ll tell you what... Thank you so much for helping me to figure out what happened that day and I am going to program your number into my cell phone. As soon as Kurama is ready to receive visitors, you can come and see him.__"_Dr. Gozen sounded quite cheery, but Kazuma was fucking miserable.

"And you... you have no way of knowing when that will be?"

_"__Well, I can__'__t have him running around telling people that he sells drugs to demons.__"_Dr. Gozen laughed, and frankly Kazuma could see the logic behind that sentence. _"__He__'__s very upset, Kazuma. This psychological break with reality alludes to deep seated issues that I will have to work with him on. He could have another mental collapse if we push him to hard too fast, and he might attack someone again. He would be very upset and hurt if that were to happen. I want him to go at his own pace. When you see Kurama is, frankly, up to Kurama.__"_

Then he was genuinely screwed, and would never see Kurama again.

"... okay," Kazuma whispered, his head back in his hands.

"_All will be well, I promise. But I have to go. I__'__ll call when I have more information.__"_

"Bye," Kazuma mumbled.

_"__Goodbye.__"_

And she hung up.

For a moment there was a horrible silence as they all sat about the kitchen bar and realized the gravity of the situation. Kurama was no longer attempting to hide the truth, and in doing so was putting himself deeper into a hole where Kazuma could not reach him. It didn't matter if Kurama was healthy and healed; if they thought that he was mentally broken, they wouldn't let him out of Matsuzawa or allow Kazuma see him. There was no way for Kazuma to reach Kurama now, unless Kurama somehow managed to get a grip on himself and remember to lie...

But Shiori was dead; Kurama no doubt felt that lies were useless. It put Kazuma in such a state of misery that he could do little but moan into his hands.

"... Well," Yusuke grumbled, resuming chopping green onions, "Kurama ain't wastin' no damn time spillin' the beans."

"What do we do?" Kazuma demanded of Yusuke, fear flooding his face as he smacked his hands upon the counter. The force made his phone jump a little. "He's telling her the truth, and she's gonna lock him up! What do we do?" He looked up at Yusuke, afraid. "They think he's crazy! That he's hallucinating!"

Yusuke had no answers, his hands in the air as he backed away from the counter. For a minute there was only silence as Yusuke paced and Keiko thought.

Then, Keiko looked at Yusuke with newfound inspiration.

"Yusuke," she addressed him, and he stopped momentarily to glance at her, "Maybe we need to ask for help from the other side."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe Koenma can do something," Keiko clarified; Kazuma's heart suddenly leapt. He hadn't thought about Koenma in years! Could it that their answers lay in that toddler's hands? "They have doctors in spirit world, right?"

But Yusuke was still thinking and hadn't answered.

"Right?"

"Right," Yusuke finally said. He was suddenly looking up at the ceiling, as if to the sky which lay beyond the plaster and concrete.

"Then call Koenma," Keiko urged. "And tell him to get Kurama out of there. Say that Kurama's revealing information about demon and spirit world; Koenma will have no choice but to intervene. He's done it before!"

It was true. He had.

Kazuma and Yusuke glanced at one another.

Yusuke turned, and without another word left the kitchen heading for the stairs to the second floor. Kazuma did not know where he was going or what he intended on doing when he got there... but, God, he hoped it was enough.

Kurama's lock of hair was still clutched tight in his hand.

* * *

Three days passed, and nothing changed. Kurama remained bound to the bed, his joints sore from being unable to move. He'd started on a medication, and Tomoe came to sit with him frequently but Kurama did not change his story; every time she left she looked oddly disappointed... but she always returned with more energy and hope the next day. She was relentless in her pursuit of his good health.

But Kurama knew he was doomed; that he would no doubt die in this hospital simply from a broken heart if nothing else, and wept often to himself as he thought of Kazuma and all that lay outside the concrete and straps that bound him. He thought of Yusuke and Keiko, of their beautiful restaurant and their incessant bickering. He though Shizuru, strong and smart; he thought of Yukina and how her little soaps smelled of ginger. He thought of Hiei quite often, and the life that both of them had lead in demon world. He wondered where Hiei was (no doubt with Mukuro somewhere) and what Hiei would say if he knew all that Kurama was enduring. He would no doubt be enraged, and cut him free of the bindings...

Oh, what Kurama would give for Hiei's skilled hands... for his sharp eyes and sharp mind. If anyone could get him out of this mess, it would be Hiei.

But Kurama suffered in silence, his sobs echoing about the desolate and dark room late into the night. When the sun rose, Kurama's eyes ached, and there were puffy red tear tracks upon his face.

He had no way of telling time, but as shadows crept across his room close to dusk on the third day, there came a knock on his door and it was opened to reveal Tomoe. She had her clipboard in hand once again, and was smiling in that same bubbly way.

But she frowned when she saw him crying.

"Hello..." she murmured softly, coming over to his bedside and sitting down. She took a tissue and wiped at his cheeks though there was little need for it. Kurama jerked away from her touch. She respected the move and did not make to dry his tears any more, though she easily could have. "How are you?"

"Dying," Kurama ground out between clenched teeth.

"Why are you dying?" she asked. She had a tape recorder with her, something she often carried about, and she set it on the bedside table. Kurama could see its red little light blinking.

"Because I am rotting away in an asylum," Kurama's voice shook, "and I cannot be with the ones I love, and you think that I am fucking insane even though all I am doing is telling the truth."

"Well now, that's silly." Tomoe scoffed softly. "Because, one, you're not in an asylum, you're in a psychiatric hospital-"

"It's the same goddamn thing!" Kurama shouted, his voice bouncing wildly about the room, "Don't you dare attempt to sugarcoat the truth!"

He seized coughing, and looked away.

Tomoe said nothing for a moment, though she did lay a hand over his forehead to check for fever and also felt his wrist for his pounding pulse.

"Goodness," she mused, completely at peace with the whole outburst. "That was quite an explosion. How long have you been wanting to yell at me?"

"Days," Kurama said bitterly.

"Well, I'm glad you did," she said, as if to insist he should have done so sooner. "Asylums are terrible things, I assure you, Kurama. You are not in one. You would have to be committed first... and in order for that to happen I would have to submit a piece of paper to a judge saying that you were criminally insane. Which I won't, because you aren't. So. You're not in an asylum. Secondly, I do not think you're insa-"

"Really?" Kurama demanded. "Because I'm still strapped to this bed!"

"Only for now!" Tomoe offered. "Only until we understand why you think you're selling drugs to demons and controlling plants-"

"Oh my god," Kurama screamed again, his temper lost for the second time as he snarled at Tomoe. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" He thrashed in his bindings but it was no good. He could not break free of them, "I'm telling you the truth!"

Tomoe just watched him, alert but unafraid. Kurama collapsed back into his pillow suddenly weak and miserable as a sob escaped his lips.

"Oh, there's no use..."

"Why are you crying?" she asked him softly.

"If Kazuma saw me like this it would kill him. I want-" Kurama broke off, a sob making speech impossible for a moment. "I want to go home but I don't deserve it. Not after... what I've done."

The sins of his crimes lay heavily upon his chest; it suddenly felt very difficult to breathe, as if the air was poisonous gas and not oxygen.

"But really, what have you even done?" Tomoe asked, rubbing his arm soothingly. "You made an honest mistake, plain and simple-"

"I hurt him-" Kurama sobbed, remembering vividly how he had punched, slapped and scratched Kazuma after foiling his suicide attempt, "When he made me throw up the lye-!"

"Well, he thwarted your plan," Tomoe reminded him. "And you've already said you're quite the strategist. That must have made you very angry-"

"I said horrible things to him!" Kurama shouted wildly at her, his sobs now wracking his frail body in huge gasps. His throat burned, he was almost certain there was blood in his mouth, but still he could not stop crying.

"What did you say?"

"I- I can't remember- but it was... something like 'If you loved me you'd let me die'."

"Well, that's a very scary thing to say to someone who loves you," Tomoe admitted. She put her hand back over Kurama's forehead stroking away his chopped locks, "I spoke with Kazuma a few days ago on the phone. He was very worried about you... I don't think he's mad. I think he wants to see you, to hold you; he told me that your mother recently died."

Kurama looked way, forcing Tomoe's hand from his forehead.

For a moment they sat in ugly silence as Kurama wept softly into his pillow. Tomoe rubbed his arm up and down, never stopping. Her hand was warm upon his skin.

"My mother died too, about a year ago," Tomoe admitted; though Kurama listened, he was still so distressed that Tomoe's words were not sticking as they ought to. "She suffered from aggressive Alzheimer's. It was very frightening to watch the woman I love dissolve into a woman I did not know. I was given the option to commit her... but I didn't. I should have. Professionally, I know that; but I didn't." Tomoe paused. "I couldn't do that to her. Every time I thought about it I would remember how she'd pick me up as a little girl and twirl me in the air."

Kurama sniffed, looking up at her. Tomoe was smiling fondly at her memory.

Suddenly Kurama could remember being in a cherry tree, a child no older than five, and Shiori calling out to him from below, her ams open wide, waiting to catch him.

"My mother was a brilliant scholar... but her mind became her madness. Still, I'll always remember her as I saw her in childhood. I don't recall the woman who ran half naked up the street screaming, raving mad... that wasn't my mother." At this, Tomoe looked at Kurama expectantly. "Who was your mother?"

"... Shiori." Kurama whispered the name.

God, what he would have given to be held by Shiori now, to feel her loving and sympathetic arms around his neck.

"She was kind," Kurama said; what use was such a detail to Tomoe? But still he told her. He told her simply because he must tell someone before his mind broke completely in two as it was bound to do if left under such strain. "She was kind, and good, and she trusted me." Another sob passed through Kurama's lips.

Tomoe nodded, pulling out her pen from her breast pocket to write upon the clipboard. It didn't matter what she wrote now; Kurama no longer cared.

"She never knew the truth about me," lamented Kurama. "She never knew."

"What truth did she not know?"

"That I was a demon. That I was... vile and cruel. That I was murderous."

"Heavy words," Tomoe mused, looking up at him. "But I don't know if you're any of those things. Why do you claim to be them?"

"Because they are true, you foolish woman!" Kurama snarled at her. Of course, she heard 'demon' and thought it meant a bad person. She still could not comprehend. "You think that you know who I am, that you know why I'm here, but you do not!"

At this, Tomoe re-crossed her legs and relaxed into her chair.

"Please," she said, waving a hand expectantly. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here because I drank lye and was stupid enough to get caught," Kurama snarled. "I have a long history of thievery, arson, murder and torture. Had I been in my prime, I would never have gotten caught. I'm here because I've gone soft!"

"Long history?" Tomoe repeated his words. She flipped causally through her clipboard, shaking her head. "You have no criminal record. You've never even gotten as much as a traffic ticket. Although you were shot several months ago and killed an attacker in self-defense. If you had committed murder, surely the police would have at least listed you as a suspect-"

Kurama scoffed, cutting her off: "I didn't do it in this life."

"This life?" Tomoe asked.

"I did it in my past life. I am a demon." Kurama enunciated the word with as much clarity as he could muster, in hopes that perhaps this time it would register properly with her.

For a moment, Tomoe just stared at him.

"What kind of a demon are you?" she asked finally, her pen perched upon her paper. It seemed the fun was about to begin.

"A yoko."

"What makes you think that?" Tomoe asked, writing as she spoke.

"Because it is true," Kurama ground out, the words tight between his teeth. "There are two other worlds separate from this one: demon world and spirit world. I am from demon world. I have lived before. I am one thousand two hundred and forty eight years old, and that is not including my human life."

Tomoe just nodded, smiling up at him unexpectedly.

"You're looking good for one thousand two hundred and seventy three," she said, and Kurama scoffed as she combined his demon age with his human age. "What's your secret?"

"You don't believe me," Kurama groaned to the ceiling. Of course she didn't believe him, why should she? "You sit there and you think me a rambling lunatic. You have no idea what kind of power I possess. You think yourself safe."

"Do you think me unsafe?" Tomoe prompted.

"I think you stupid," Kurama seethed, turning his head to glare at her, "and unworthy of my time. I could kill you in a second if I so chose."

"Why would you do that?" she asked with no real malice or concern. "I thought we were friends. That's very unfriendly-"

"We aren't friends, you are my jailor!" Kurama snarled, "You are mortal, weak, and completely vulnerable to me!"

"Like your mother?" Tomoe threw the question out there as one might lob a sword; as skilled as a ninja, she sliced through the sinews of his heart. Kurama winced and looked away.

"... Exactly like my mother," he whispered.

"Being one thousand two hundred seventy three years old must help with the fear of mortality; you must feel safer knowing you're not going to die anytime soon-"

"Are you a fucking idiot?" Kurama snarled at her. "I attempted to die; I wanted to die! I was going to die if I hadn't been caught!"

"And yet you seem to have a fascination with avoiding death since this is the second time you've done it," Tomoe offered.

Kurama blinked in surprise and laughed in spite of himself. "Admittedly I did the first time. When I died I transferred to her womb and cared nothing for what it did to her body, to my soul. I thought I could easily recuperate and return, but I became conflicted. It's really quite queer - I never cared about my first mother, my actual mother."

And all of a sudden, he was spilling his soul. "She was a normal yoko, like any other. All my family was. I was born into a large skulk of yokos, which is typical. I grew strong, I was good at defending and protecting, but I didn't care about protecting others even if they were related to me. I wanted to taste blood. I wanted to know glory. So I struck out on my own and started carving a bloody path through demon world. This is before the rise of Mukuro, so there was no control in the Alaric to speak of, but it didn't matter. Back then you didn't need to kill the king. If you fucked up enough of the forest, you could get anyone's attention."

He was talking so fast now, practically rambling. He must sound like a raving lunatic but he didn't care. Tomoe was listening now, not even attempting to write.

"Attention is good," she commented casually as he carried right on.

"I murdered, I pillaged, I destroyed everything I touched, and I came to have a little group of followers. Idiots who thought I was their leader because I was stronger than them. I used them, I didn't give a shit; they were simple-minded creatures and they fulfilled my purpose. The only ones that stood out in the crowd were Yomi and Kuronue. Yomi was just some fucking kid who thought he could take my spot if he got stronger than me but he was reckless and foolish and cost me several good heists because he went against my orders and got my men killed. So I had him assassinated; the job was botched and they only managed to blind him, but it didn't matter. It got Yomi off my hands. That pathetic bastard." And at this an ugly laugh escaped Kurama's lips, cold and hard.

"A pity they botched the job," Tomoe mused. "You might run into him one day-"

"Oh, I did!" Kurama cried out; by god, Tomoe was insightful. "Of course, then I had to deal with him as the ruler of Gandara. I had no interest in his political games, but he threatened Shiori, so I could not refuse him."

"And so you allowed Yomi to use you - a wild reversal of roles. What about Kuronue?"

Kurama groaned. What about Kuronue, indeed? Kuronue, who had deserved none of his cruelty, yet had received _all _of it.

"Kuronue was different. Kuronue loved me, the fucking fool. Every time he tried to touch me, I shoved him away. I thought he was nothing more than a disgusting leech, though he never showed me a drop of unkindness."

"That's certainly different than how you treat Kazuma," Tomoe said. The words stung.

"I was wounded once. A heist went wrong, thanks to Yomi. I was in need of rest, I hid to recover, and Kuronue found me. The delusional moron just pressed himself against me, wrapped his arms around me, like I was his lover - like I was good to him in any way at all. Someone must have thought he meant something to me because they killed him in front of me, to spite me. I didn't think it mattered, but- he pushed me out of the way. He screamed at me to run, and when I saw him, when I saw his blood on the ground, I … I suddenly felt everything. I had wasted my time with him."

_The blood amid the bamboo, the light draining from those violet eyes- _

"That must have truly broken your heart," Tomoe murmured softly.

"I was enraged!" Kurama howled the word, twisting in his straps though he could not get away from the pain now rampant in his heart, "I murdered everyone. I murdered that whole colony - not just the men, but the women and the children too! They were animals, and I slaughtered them like animals!" he screamed.

"And it felt good, to make them suffer," Tomoe continued in that same soft voice, "after all Kuronue had suffered."

"But the SDF-" Kurama laughed in spite of himself. What would the SDF say if they could see him now, firing off secrets about demon and human world left and right? "They were getting just a little angry with me. And they were waiting. It was a trap. And they pursued me. I was weak from the battle and I was so angry, so very angry- and they killed me. They shot me through the heart. And I died on that field, just like any other yoko... But I wasn't ready to give up; I was furious. Furious at my carelessness. So I hid in the womb of an unsuspecting human-"

"Shiori."

"Shiori," Kurama confirmed in a whisper. "I was eager to recover, and I was born again into this life. At first I carried on with my plan and didn't care about the foolish twit but she adored me. Of course she adored me - I was her child! And then, one day when I was four a glass jar fell to the ground, and I slipped, and had I hit it I would have been shredded to ribbon- but she threw herself at me. She took the glass into her own arms- till the day she died she had scars from that-"

But he could say no more. He broke off, a fresh sob escaping his lips.

For a moment they sat in silence. Then, Tomoe spoke.

"That must have really touched you. Maybe even reminded you of Kuronue."

"I suppose it did," said Kurama quietly.

"After she saved you from the broken glass, did anything change?" Tomoe asked, recrossing her legs and picking her pen back up to write on her clipboard.

"Everything," Kurama moaned the word. "Everything. God, everything changed."

Suddenly Kurama had done a 180, turning from a cold and aloof toddler to a loving and devoted child. He had cared for Shiori even at the tender age of five, constantly forswearing his love to her and doing everything he could to make life better for her. When school had begun, he'd pressed hard to study, to understand these tricky human subjects like math and science. Shiori's beaming face, so prideful and adoring, had been well worth the haggard nights of exhaustive studying.

"What changed?"

"I- I suddenly realized how much her love meant to me…" Her love had rocked him through nights of haggard dreams, of nightmares where he was a yoko again and slaughtering humans in the street. Shiori had stayed up, rubbing his feet till the early hours of the morning, lying beside him in his small bed and holding him snugly in her arms, humming lullabies into his ears.

"Unconditional love," Tomoe said.

"She knew _nothing,__"_Kurama repeated, bitter and hateful towards himself. "The whole time, she knew nothing! Because I could not tear her happiness from her- tell her that her son, her only family, was a barbarous wretch!"

He screamed the word 'wretch' and for the first time, Tomoe flinched.

She sat pensively in her chair, timidly reaching out to rub his arm. Still Kurama wept.

"... Don't let Kazuma near me," Kurama sobbed. "Keep these chains on me, save humanity from me!" His words were barely distinguishable through his tears. "Save them all from me! Throw me in a cell and lock me up and don't let me out - do you understand?"

"Oh, Kurama..." Tomoe murmured. "Why do you want that for yourself?"

But it was too much; Kurama could not bear it anymore.

"Because I am evil!" Kurama screamed, thrashing hard; he was beyond hope, and he would do anything to make her understand. "Look at me! Look at me, and understand who you're facing!"

Kurama's power suddenly kicked in; he could feel something thick and tuberous behind his head – a vine.

A single seed had been left in his hair from the hospital, but it was all that he needed. He pushed all his rage into that seed, all his power, and suddenly the straps holding him to the bed were busted free one by one as a wild net of vines scoured down his legs and arms. Tomoe leapt back, clutching her heart, her blood draining from her face as Kurama leapt off the bed, covered in vines and thorns. He wore them like a shield, and he reached out to grab Tomoe before she could run, before she could scream.

Kurama threw her against the wall, her head hitting it with a horrible, resounding smack. He pinned her there by the throat, vines now pouring above her body, thorns pricking her skin, making her bleed.

Tomoe held back her scream but it was obvious upon her bloodless lips. Her eyes were pinched shut - Kurama would not stand for it.

"Look at me!" he roared, and slammed her head against the wall again. She gasped, her eyes flying open; so large, so innocent, so terrified. "Look at me and see me for who I am!"

Tomoe was speechless despite how the thorns shredded her soft skin, her mouth open and silent as Kurama pinned her tight against the wall. Their faces were pressed together now, Kurama's legs shaking beneath him as they struggled to support his weight after four days of being tied down.

"You think I'm some kind of delusional human, suffering from a nervous breakdown," Kurama snarled. "It's time to confront reality! I am a monster, I am unworthy of redemption, and I'll slice you into a thousand bloody pieces before you have a chance to scream!"

A vine rose from his left, its thorny tendril stroking Tomoe's cheek. From where the thorn touched her a thin red welt appeared, slowly opening with blood. He could shred her flesh like ribbon now; there was nothing she could do to stop him.

"You thought I was spinning some elaborate tale, but I have told no falsities! My name is Yoko Kurama, and I am a murderous thief posing as human for the sake of a mortal coil. But that woman is gone now, and there is nothing holding me back! Nothing is holding me here, nothing to spare you from the agony of dying at my hands!"

A subtle flick of his wrist and another vine shot forth toward her neck, about to go for the kill-

"Kazuma!" Tomoe blurted the name. The vine halted in mid-air, mere inches from her throat. Kurama jerked back as an icy cold rush of fear overtook him.

Tomoe looked him dead in the face. "You have Kazuma. And – and," she stumbled along, her words shaky, "You are having a nervous breakdown. Because you're scared to death that you will become a murderer again. But you won't! Because Shiori gave you all the tools you needed for recovery and redemption!"

But Tomoe's words were cut off suddenly by a thunderous crash which resounded on the other side of the heavily bolted door to Kurama's cell. Both of them looked at it.

Kurama could feel the overpowering spirit energy on the other side.

He relaxed his hold on her a little bit, his vines retreating from her bleeding skin; could it be?

"... I do believe you're saved," Kurama whispered softly.

It _was _the SDF, there could be no denying. Not with the power that he felt radiating through the door, not with the explosions slamming into it from the other side; they were going to force their way in!

"Listen to me!" Kurama was shocked witless when Tomoe reached up and grabbed his face, forcing him to turn back and look at her. Her brown eyes were wide, blood dripping down her cheek, but still she tried: "I still want to help you, Kurama! I know you're hurting and I can-!"

But the door blew open, unable to withstand the pressure from the SDF. Kurama whipped around, got one good look at the men in armor pouring through the door, and then white light hit him right in the chest-

He was falling into blackness, Tomoe still entangled in his arms...down... down... down.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: **Hello to all the readers! I hope you're enjoying 'Compromised' so far. I wanted to let you all know that updates will be slow but I swear to you that they WILL be coming. Compromised is actually already finished. It just needs to be edited to perfection. That being said, I'm sorry if it is a hassle. I promise you, I will be posting chapters just as soon as I am able. Consider them like chocolate morsels; best savored slowly! :D

* * *

Koenma's job was a simple one, really. He stamped papers sending the dead to heaven or hell, and he watched over spirit world in his father's absence. There were times when the job got hectic... an oncoming apocalypse perhaps or a martyr with a point to prove (like Sensui). For the most part, though, the world had been quietly spinning for the past seven years.

Yet here now before him was a woman who had somehow made it buzz again - plain and lovely, with brown curly hair and a simple sweet smile.

Shiori Minamino stood in his office and beheld it all with enchanted grace. She looked up at the ceiling, at the walls, at the door behind her, and finally at Koenma.

Incredible... to think this beautiful woman was Kurama's mother.

Kurama's destruction.

"Are you ready to go?" Koenma asked, relaxing in his chair as he held Shiori's file upon his desk. She'd chosen rebirth, something that he found slightly surprising since she'd done so many good things in her past life. Though she did not know it, her file also included details on Kurama's resurrection into human world... Koenma could open the file now, could turn it around and show her, tell her everything.

But for twenty five years, Kurama had kept his silence. Koenma could to the same for five more minutes. Shiori would never know... not even in death.

"Almost," Shiori said, pleasantly, "Is it improper of me to ask you a question?"

"No," Koenma assured her. "Many do. Usually about their family or themselves... sometimes the meaning of life though I confess I cannot impart those answers to a soul."

"I suppose you wouldn't be surprised, then, if I asked how my son is doing?"

Koenma shook his head.

Her son was just down the hall, being put on a thorough detox after wreaking havoc in human world and nearly killing an innocent civilian. Koenma put on a smile and pretended one more time.

"He's fine," Koenma lied. Though Shiori did not know it, a tape recorder lay in his desk drawer that proved heavily otherwise. "He's sad, but he'll be fine."

"I'm glad," Shiori murmured, her smile relaxing a little. "I knew he would be... Kazuma loves him."

"Naturally," Koenma agreed. How the hell those two had ended up together was beyond him, but who was he to judge? He had fallen in love with an employee and not even the one he spent the most time with. Poor Ame, now having to endure Botan giggling and poking sly teasing jokes at her for dating her own boss. "Is that all?"

"That's all," Shiori said.

Koenma reached out for his stamp and signed her letter without another word.

"My assistant Botan will lead the way," Kazuma said, and he pressed a button upon his desk for Botan to know to open the door. She did so, poking her head inside and smiling sweetly at Shiori; she looked sad. Koenma gave her a warning look when Shiori turned her back on him. Botan had better not run her damn mouth and say something to Shiori.

She nodded at him; she knew the rule. They'd had this conversation earlier.

"Hello!" Botan said as she held the door wide for Shiori. "Shall we?"

"Yes, why not?" Shiori said, and they walked off down the hall. Koenma waited a good three minutes after the door had shut, wanting Shiori out of the way before bringing in his next client... he pressed the button again, and this time when the door opened Yusuke Urameshi was on the other side.

It was strange, to see him after so many years apart. Koenma had put everything into this boy, and watched in amazement as he flourished into a man. Yusuke had earned his respect, his allegiance, and when Yusuke had made the call requesting Koenma's help, Koenma had given it at once. During his father's reign, Koenma's hands might have been bound... but he controlled spirit world now, and he made the rules. If Yusuke needed help, he gave it.

Koenma gestured, and Yusuke walked in the room. Kuwabara was right behind him, both of them looked utterly spent. Koenma could not blame them. He'd called them an hour ago, requesting their presence in spirit world after capturing Kurama and bringing him to detox.

"Yo," Koenma said. "Long time no see."

"Where is he?" Kuwabara asked at once.

"Being looked over by a medical team," Koenma said."The drugs that he had in his system were making him delirious at best; we have better stuff, suited to demons. But in all honesty I don't see what keeping him here will do. I'm going to relinquish him into your custody-" He pointed to Yusuke, "You're strong. You can handle him."

Yusuke snorted, rolling his eyes. He hadn't changed a bit in eight years.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Yusuke grumbled, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets. Kuwabara rubbed his face several times, seeming quite dead on his feet.

"Can I see him?" Kuwabara asked.

"No," Koenma said. "Not until we get him stable - off the drugs." Kuwabara was crest fallen, "Then you can come get him and take him home. After all that Kurama has done for me, I think this is the least I can do for him."

"Well," Yusuke drawled, "I'm glad you agree. I would have hated to force your hand."

"You would have delighted in it." Koenma scowled, for he was well aware Yusuke had a penchant for making chaos when he wanted to. "Don't bullshit a professional bullshitter."

He opened his desk drawer and fished out the recorder. Putting it on the desk before the two men, he slid it forward. They eyed it warily.

"We wiped everyone's memories of the incident - over twenty five people from the ambulance ride all the way to the psych ward, not to mention the three hundred people involved during the funeral. Easy work," Koenma said, touching the recorder. "All the files, all the footage, all the evidence... gone. It's like it never happened. But it did happen, and this is the proof."

He hit play on the recorder and voices filled the air:

_ "Keep Kazuma away from me... keep these chains on me... save humanity from me! Save them all from me! Throw me in a cell and lock me up-! Save yourself while you can!" _Kurama's voice was inhuman with grief and rage.

_"Oh, Kurama," _a woman's gentle voice whispered, _"Why do you want that for yourself?" _

_ "Because I am evil! Goddammit! Look at me! Look at me, and understand who you__'__re facing!" _Kurama was truly screaming now, and strange sounds emitted from the recorder; Koenma was unsure what those noises were, but they sounded a bit like vines growing at a rapid rate... that would correlate with the report, at least.

_"__You think I__'__m some kind of delusional human, suffering from a nervous breakdown. It's time to confront reality! I am a monster, I am unworthy of redemption, and I'll slice you into a thousand bloody pieces before you have a chance to scream!"_

Kazuma flinched at Kurama's words. Koenma could not blame him.

"You thought I was spinning some elaborate tale, but I have told no falsities! My name is Yoko Kurama, and I am a murderous thief posing a human for the sake of a mortal coil. But that woman is gone now, and there is nothing holding me back! Nothing is holding me here, nothing to spare you from the agony of dying at my hands!"

They'd heard enough. Koenma hit 'stop', and the voices died out at once.

Koenma looked up at the men unsurprised to find them both glaring.

"That's hardly the creepiest revelation of the tape," Koenma said, for the part about Kuronue had been downright unnerving, "merely the most dangerous."

Yusuke took the tape recorder and clenched it tight in his fist. He might have broken it, but he didn't.

"Kurama is smart and kind... he is aware of the world around him." Koenma mused after a moment, lacing his fingers together upon his desk, "When he is healthy and happy, the truth will pour from his mouth. When he is at his lowest, none are safe." He looked at the two men before him. "I'm going to try and get him to a calmer point, a middle ground from which you can work. But I'll leave it to you to do the rest. I don't know Kurama. I don't know how his heart works or why this devastated him as much as it did. But I do know that when Shiori died a part of Kurama died too. We need to get that part back any way that we can. Work on that for me."

He nodded to Yusuke, who saluted him with his middle finger pointedly raised.

"Sir, yes sir."

"Head on home," Koenma dismissed them. "I'll call when he's ready to be picked up; expect it in about... three days."

Yusuke and Kuwabara left, closing the door behind them, and Koenma slowly took Shoiri's file in his hands. He felt the weight of it, of an entire life now fully closed, and without another word slipped it into his desk drawer next to two other files.

* * *

It was a very strange change, to be drug to spirit world in a binding light only to be removed upon arrival and told that he was not under arrest. Frankly, Kurama's experience with spirit world authorities had usually been of a different color, but for some reason Koenma did not seem to blame him for his outburst. As soon as Tomoe's memory had been erased and her wounds healed, Kurama had been lead to a private and quiet area on the end of a long hall where he could sit and think as the drugs were washed out of his system. He was not detained, he was not in chains, and he was not being hammered with questions. Instead, he was being left alone to muddle in his own thoughts... which was arguably worse.

He knew now from Koenma that Yusuke had called in the favor to pull him out of the psych ward. Yusuke who had punched so joyfully in the mouth, was his saving grace and for some reason not angry with him. Kurama could hardly believe his luck, after having been so certain that his freedom was gone. Suddenly, he was no longer bound, and could do as he pleased so long as he was quiet and kept to his room. He could walk about, read a book, sit in the chair that was more of a bed than anything else... and think.

Think he did, of nothing but Kazuma, their home, and how he longed to return to it.

On the third day of his quiet captivity in spirit world, a knock came upon the door and it was opened to reveal a doctor holding a file and a bundle of clothes under his arms. Kurama sat up, having been slouched in his chair under a heavily depressive spell of thought.

"Kurama? Your blood work came back. The drug's out of your system," the doctor said, gesturing with the closed file. "Lord Koenma says you're free to be discharged."

He walked forward, and offered Kurama the bundle of clothes. It was a pair of jeans, and a t-shirt and a gray sweatshirt that was very familiar underneath a pair of tennis shoes. He smelt the sweatshirt, and was shocked at the hint of ginger and aftershave he found there.

This was Kazuma's sweatshirt, one that he'd worn quite often and grown very attached to.

"Your friends brought this for you. They're waiting for you outside at the bridge," the doctor said.

Kurama's heart leapt, and he gasped as he looked up at the doctor.

His friends... did that mean Kazuma was outside? Did that mean he could finally...?

Did that mean he could _go home? _

"Leave your IV in," the doctor ordered. "We're going to give you a prescription to take. When you're ready, just come outside. We'll walk you out."

With that, he turned and closed the door behind him as he left.

Kurama looked at the bundle in his lap, and a dry sob escaped his lips as he touched the sweatshirt.

He knew what he must do, but he was so very tired. Still he stood up and removed his dirty hospital clothes. He was utterly relieved as the smooth cotton of his t-shirt slid over his head. Of how marvelous it felt, to dress as normal people dressed. The sweatshirt was a sensory overload, and Kurama simply stood there for a moment to smell it deeply. He put on his jeans, and sat down to tie up his tennis shoes, but he just kept going back to that sweatshirt and inhaling.

He could barely hold back tears, but he tried.

He threw his dirty hospital clothes away in a bin by the door, and opened it to find that the doctor was waiting outside. He had a vial in his hands and gave it to Kurama. It was a prescription of purified Clematis... Kurama had given some to Yusuke when he'd been distraught so many months ago. He knew this plant well, and its side effects.

"Take a dosage only if you have an episode. It'll help with nightmares and anxiety," the doctor said, and they walked together down the hall. It took them several flights of stairs to reach the bottom level of the palace, and by the time they did Kurama was utterly exhausted again.

The doors to the outside were ahead of them, tall and imposing, Kurama trembled in their shadow as the doctor reached out and took the door knob in hand.

"They're just outside. Good luck." He opened the door, and bright light made Kurama wince momentarily as his eyes re-adjusted.

A land of pink fog, floating like a sea of mist awaited him. A great golden bridge extended up and out, covering the gap between the shell upon which the palace floated and the gates of the other side. The river Styx lay between them, peaceful and gentle in its silver streamed course.

And there, on the other side of the bridge, were two men.

Kazuma Kuwabara and Yusuke Urameshi.

Kurama looked away, grief and shame filling him to the brim as he hastily blinked back tears. He took several steadying breaths, but nothing could seem to calm his nerves. The doctor registered his worry, and gave him a look of warning as he cast a wary eye out behind them. If someone saw Kurama on the edge of a nervous breakdown now, Kurama would never get home. He'd be detained even longer, and god forbid maybe even put in chains again.

Kurama knew this, but the shame within him was making it impossible to stay calm.

"Look, just get through the portal," the doctor urged, whispering close to his ear. "Just get over the bridge and they won't make you stay. If you want to go home, do what it takes. Hold it together."

Kurama nodded hastily, walking outside before he could change his own mind, and the doctor closed the door right after him so that Kurama could not turn around and run back inside. There, upon the threshold, Kurama looked up at the soft pink skies of spirit world and all around as the River Styx wound beyond them.

This place was incredibly lovely. Why had he never noticed that before now?

He knew that Kazuma was waiting, was on the other side of the bridge... and yet Kurama did not know if he possessed the will to go forward. Going forward would be tantamount to begging for mercy on his knees, to apologizing for everything and praying for forgiveness from those that he loved.

But the doctor's words hung in his ears.

_"__If you want to go home, do what it takes.__" _

The mists of the spirit world swept at his feet, temporarily hiding the bricks, and as Kurama looked down he noticed how tiny tendrils of pink flourished in the shallows of his shoes. He sniffed, and began to walk forward.

Step by step Kurama trudged forward, and though he could hear Kazuma's footsteps drawing closer he did not dare to look up. The back of his neck and his ears were very cold without his long hair. He'd not had short hair since he was in grade school; Hiei had first come into his life then. Funnily enough, he'd even had a girlfriend then... a lovely young woman named Maya. Was she his girlfriend? Kurama couldn't be sure. She'd been more like a very good friend who _wanted _to be his girlfriend-

He was upon the bridge now; Kurama did not know how close he was to Kazuma until he saw a shadow before him, and the tips of Kazuma's boots peeking into his vision.

He paused, brushing his lip with his trembling fingers; he kept his gaze averted low.

A full minute passed and still Kurama could not look up. He knew Kazuma was waiting for him to speak, waiting for him to apologize. Kurama wanted to; shame burned in his cheeks. He took in breath after breath, feeling like he might vomit.

Kurama slowly brought his hand down, but every time his hand got to his waist it would just rise again; first to his stomach, then to his heart.

Kurama could feel himself shaking, despite the warmth of Kazuma's sweatshirt.

Why had Kazuma brought this piece of clothing for him? Because he knew that Kurama might be feeling cold? Or because he remembered that Kurama wore it often?

Because Kurama _did _wear it often.

"... I am... so sorry," Kurama whispered, hoarse and fearful. He still would not look up, still afraid to hear what Kazuma would say, "... For everything."

There were warm fingers coming around his chin, and suddenly Kurama's face was forced to rise. He gazed upon Kazuma, and saw in those warm eyes all the love and affection he feared would flee. Kazuma had bags under his eyes and was no doubt exhausted; had he not been sleeping? Kazuma stroked Kurama's chin. Those fingers... oh, how Kurama needed those fingers.

"I am so sorry-" Kurama could not say it with a straight face when he was looking into Kazuma's eyes, and suddenly Kurama was trying to look down, to look away, if only to spare himself the humiliation of weeping so openly after being the one to fuck up so badly. "I am so, so sorry-"

"God-!"

Kazuma jerked Kurama into his arms, wrapping him up tight in such a hug that Kurama felt his rib cage decompress. It was a hug of strength, of protective love that wrapped him up from the bitter cold he'd been feeling since he was first tethered to a bed almost a week ago. This past week had been a week from utter hell, and suddenly Kurama was weeping haggardly into Kazuma's chest, wrapping his arms about his broad shoulders to cling to his neck.

"I thought-" Kurama blurted out, "I thought I'd never see you again!"

And he had truly been terrified by the notion.

"It's okay. It's all right." Kazuma's voice was thick was he cupped the back of Kurama's head in his hand. He stroked the choppy lengths there, his other hand tight about Kurama's waist, "Everything will be fine."

"I thought-" Kurama could barely breathe for the sobs escaping him, "I thought I'd die in that place-"

"No!" Kazuma urged, "No, I would never have let it happen. From the moment you were in there I was trying to get you out-"

"I'm sorry-" Kurama pulled back, his hands upon Kazuma's handsome face; he tried to discern scratches or bruises, he'd thought for certain he'd left some. "I hit you. I _hit _you." Kurama could not stand to hear himself say it. "I said such awful things. Forgive me, I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry-"

But Kazuma just pressed upon his head, forcing Kurama to take refuge in his neck as he sobbed.

"Hush..." Kazuma soothed, "Hush. I know you didn't mean it."

"I never meant to hurt you-"

"If you don't want to hurt me, then don't hurt yourself. That hurts me."

He forced Kurama to look at him again, those loving eyes peering so deeply into his own that Kurama had no choice but to obey. For the past days he'd been on so many drugs he felt for certain he'd be purging his body for another two years, but Kazuma's eyes were the greatest drug of them all. Under their gaze, Kurama was mesmerized, willing to do anything if only to see them smiling and happy.

Kurama was still breathing haggardly, he suddenly felt like he might faint.

"... I'm so tired..." he whispered; he looked over his shoulder. "Can we go-?" He wondered up at the palace of Spirit World. "Am I allowed to leave now?"

"Yeah," Kazuma murmured sweetly, "You're in Yusuke's custody and you know he doesn't give a shit."

Kurama peered over Kazuma's shoulder and saw Yusuke standing on the other edge of the bridge, waiting with a simple and charming air.

Kurama had punched Yusuke, had surely busted a blood vessel beneath his eye from the force. He'd _choked _him. Why on earth was Yusuke smiling at him?

"... I want to go home so badly," Kurama admitted, his voice weak as his gulping sobs finally diminished. What was left was a hollow husk of a sound. "But I don't deserve it."

Kurama felt fresh sobs beginning to form; he laid his head miserably upon Kazuma's broad chest.

Kazuma shook his head.

Kurama was given very little warning as Kazuma bent, and suddenly he picked Kurama up beneath the knees to cradle him to his chest. Kurama might have fought against this grand gesture of affection simply for the fact that Yusuke was looking, but Kurama was tired and Kazuma was strong. In a way, it felt truly wonderful to be held in Kazuma's arms. To be loved by such a powerfully protective man. Kurama closed his eyes, his arms about Kazuma's neck, and felt the world beginning to slip peacefully by as Kazuma carried him off of the bridge.

He was asleep and did not even know it.

* * *

Kazuma did not put Kurama down when he stepped off the bridge, nor after he walked through the portal back to human world. Keiko was waiting on the other side, and she was positively relieved when she saw Kurama asleep in his arms. Yusuke jumped out the portal last, allowing it to close behind him, and she hugged him; Yusuke grinned in spite of his somber mood, kissing her softly on the lips.

The four of them made their way through the deserted streets of Sariashiki. It was close to three in the morning, and no one was out on a regular Thursday night. A cop car passed by, but a glance at the window proved it wasn't Shizuru behind the wheel. As they made it to Eighth Street, Kazuma was downright relieved to see his home come into sight... Kurama's herbal shop, which had been closed for a week due to another 'family emergency' or so the sign on the door read. Keiko unlocked the door for him, and as they stepped inside she kept the sign on the front door. There would be no need to take it down until Kurama was ready to get back to work. Kazuma had no idea how long that would be, or what condition Kurama would be in when he woke up.

They went upstairs, Keiko once again opening the door so that he might pass. It was unnerving to walk past the kitchen, to remember how Kurama had poured himself a cup of lye and water... even more unnerving given that the door to their bedroom still had not been put back up. It leaned against the wall now, chips of wood missing from the bolts where Kazuma had broken them clean in two.

Kazuma laid Kurama upon their bed, finding that he was asleep and positively angelic with his head upon the pillow. As he worked to untie Kurama's shoelaces, Yusuke cracked his neck and rubbed his face wearily.

"All right," Yusuke sighed as Kazuma took off Kurama's shoes and gently situated him beneath the coverlet. "You need us, we're across the street. I'll have my phone on me all the time in case there's another emergency. But I think we're good."

"Yeah," Keiko mumbled, reaching out to touch Kurama's choppy hair. Of course, she knew it had been cut off but hadn't seen it until now, and she certainly did not look happy about it. Yet as Kazuma made to unzip his sweat shirt, he noticed something in Kurama's pocket. It was a bottle, and his heart leapt for a second until he pulled it out and realized that it was a drug administered by Spirit World (or so the label said). Kurama had probably been given it by a doctor.

"One hell of a cocktail," Yusuke mused as Kazuma tossed him the bottle to inspect.

"Take it with you," Kazuma said. "I don't want it in the house."

The last thing he needed was Kurama with access to powerful drugs that were no doubt lethal in high dosages. One of Kurama's hands still had an IV in it, and Keiko made a short trip to the bathroom for their medical kit as Kazuma gently peeled off the hospital tape and slowly took out the needle. He would have to be careful in how he disposed of it. As Keiko re appeared, she put a Band-Aid over Kurama's wound and began to gently rub at the tape residue with a cotton ball dolloped by hydrogen peroxide.

"Hospital tape is so darn hard to get off." She grumbled as she rubbed, "What do they put in it, cement?"

"I won't be surprised if he doesn't wake up for twenty damn years," Yusuke said.

"I won't be surprised if he doesn't sleep for twenty damn years," Keiko cursed in a highly unusual manner. Kazuma wrapped Kurama's tape about the end of the needle, wanting to keep it from sticking one of them by accident. "Think about all the awful memories he has now."

"He's sleepin' now," Yusuke offered.

"Well, he's tired," Keiko grumbled. Setting Kurama's cleaned hand atop the covers she reached out again to touch his choppy hair, "Oh, his lovely hair..." she mused somberly, "I can fix this. Tomorrow I'll come over and shape it up a bit."

"Thank you," Kazuma murmured. It would be extremely strange, seeing Kurama with short hair, but he knew in time it would grow out again.

"We'll put some gel in it and slick it back." Yusuke joked, gesturing with his own hands and hair. "He'll be a regular greaser."

"... No, thanks." Kazuma made a face, trying hard to imagine it and failing miserably.

They left the bedroom, Yusuke and Keiko no doubt ready to keel over in their own bed, yet as they graced the top of the stairs Kazuma could not help but delay them a moment longer.

"... Thank you," Kazuma whispered softly as Yusuke made to descend. Yusuke stopped, looking over his shoulder up at Kazuma with that careless grace Kazuma so admired. "You saved his life."

"Nah," Yusuke whispered back, "I just pulled some strings. Saving his life... that's your job." At this, Yusuke poked him in the chest with an accusatory finger.

Yusuke turned and followed Keiko down the stairs; like a true hero, Yusuke knew how to make an exit.

The next day, Kurama had not woken up till close to three in the afternoon, and even then had been so exhausted all he could do was drink soup from a bowl and go back to bed. Kazuma did not leave his side, determined to protect him as he healed.

Keiko came over, offering to cut his hair for him just as she'd promised as soon as she got off work, but Kurama had merely shaken his head with his eyes upon the floor. It seemed that he did not want to trim his hair, wanted to wear it chopped almost like a red badge of shame. Kazuma did not want to push Kurama nor make him do anything he did not want to do. So Keiko went home with her scissors unused (but not before bringing them both takeout from Yusuke's) and the pair of them had snuggled together upon the couch to eat, watch movies, and let Eikichi relax upon their lap.

Kazuma tried to get Kurama to go outside, but Kurama seemed afraid to leave their house and would only go so far as their back balcony which overlooked a small green area behind Eight Street. The pair of them rested there, with Kurama upon Kazuma's lap and a blanket cast over his legs as the sun went down. Kurama often fell asleep, as if he hadn't slept in two hundred years, and but he likewise often awoke from terrifying visions that left him screaming for mercy in the dark. Kazuma latched onto Kurama at these times, holding him as tightly as he dared while Kurama cried into his pillow and begged to go home or see Kazuma, not even understanding he already was and that Kazuma was right next to him in bed.

It became a terrible existence, where Kurama's grief and shame was a tightly knit part of his personality. Kazuma could see no trace of the man he'd fallen in love with; the coy and flirtatious grin of a mastermind with a heart of gold... the elegant grace of a man who'd lived a thousand years and danced a thousand dances. Kurama's beauty was now hidden beneath a veil of shame... and it broke Kazuma's heart.

Yet even in the dark, there were moments of understanding.

Kazuma's gut alerted him to the hours when Kurama would do nothing but stare at their old pictures, in particular the only one they had of Hiei where he was kissing Mukuro. Kurama often touched that picture, his fingers upon Hiei's face, and suddenly Kazuma realized that Kurama was suffering in human world where Shiori's vacant life was all around him, so very evident in the boxes of her belongings that Kazuma had received from Hatanaka for Kurama to go through.

Thank fucking god Koenma had modified the memories of everyone at the funeral. They now thought Kurama gave an eloquent and lovely speech... Kurama's real words were forever etched into Kazuma's mind.

_"__I'm glad she__'__s dead.__" _

And then, it clicked.

Kurama needed to get away, needed a vacation, despite crying for home every night in his pillow. Kurama needed to go somewhere comfortable, somewhere familiar that was far from Shiori's influence.

There was only one place that Kazuma could think of: demon world.

Demon world... where he'd only been once and barely for two hours; demon world, which reeked of corpses and death upon the wind.

Demon world, where Hiei reigned in the chaos and made out with a girl that had a metal arm.

Kazuma did not want to do it, honestly fearing demon world and all its strangeness, but he could easily see that Kurama needed to get away, needed to reexamine his thoughts and his life away from Shiori's memory.

And so, a week after Kurama had come home, Kazuma picked up the phone to call Yusuke. Kurama sat upon the couch, barefoot and wearing his sweatshirt. Kazuma had just helped him to shower, and his hair was still wet; he lay against the couch, half hidden beneath a large flannel blanket with Eikichi upon his lap.

_"__Hey man...__" _Yusuke said when he answered the phone. _"__How__'__s he doing?__" _

"Bad," Kazuma admitted. He looked over his shoulder at Kurama, his eyes lingering on the deep shadows underneath Kurama's empty green eyes. "I gotta admit, I'm starting to think he needs some time away from human world. To... register this and get through it. You know?"

_"__Yeah. I can see the logic in that. This whole place was all for Shiori in his eyes.__" _

"Right." Kazuma looked down for a moment. "There's a favor I gotta ask."

_"__Ask.__" _

"There's one person Kurama trusts on this level of grief-"

_ "Uh, yeah, and his name is Kazuma Kuwabara-" _

"No," Kazuma corrected him. "It's Hiei."

There was silence on the other side of the phone, but Kazuma knew Yusuke agreed with him even if he did not want to admit it.

"Hiei and Kurama are best friends. As close as you and I," Kazuma murmured into the phone, rather eager for Kurama not to hear his words; yet a glance over his shoulder found Kurama just as lost within himself as ever and so Kazuma continued on. "Hiei's a fuckin' jerk to me, but he understands Kurama's grief. Like that time with Kuronue-"

"_Yeah_." Yusuke said at once, the memory of their battle with Yakumo unnervingly fresh upon their minds. Kurama's battle with the Kuronue look alike had been downright alarming, but Hiei had walked so bravely through it... his words had pulled Kurama back.

Hiei made it look so easy, but Kazuma had been wrestling with Kurama's demons for over a week now and he knew from experience that it was far from simple.

"Hiei might be able to help," Kazuma said. "But I don't even really know where he is."

_ "__Well, he__'__s in demon world obviously, and probably with Mukuro.__" _

"The girl that nearly killed him." Kazuma grumbled at the bloody memory of what should have been a very pleasant night.

_"__Well, you know, a foot for every shoe.__" _

"Christ, am I going to have to have conversations with this woman?" Kazuma griped as he wandered through the kitchen and fetched a soda from the fridge. He popped the tab with one hand and drank deep.

_"__I... guess?__" _

"That'll be fun." Kazuma sneered, "Hey lady, nice to meet you, thanks for nearly killing my friend. Maybe we can get him to find someone else, someone better for him that won't try and murder him just because he runs errands-"

_"__Dude-__"_ Yusuke cut him off, now sounding quite alarmed,_ " __Don__'__t even joke about stuff like that around Mukuro. She__'__s incredibly strong, probably stronger than me, and frankly I don__'__t think she__'__ll like it if you say stuff to her like that. If you__'__re going to be around her, you__'__re gonna have to watch your mouth... especially if Kurama can__'__t help you.__" _

Kazuma cursed himself inwardly, unable to help his resentment towards Mukuro when Hiei had felt so frail and limp in his arms... like a broken doll cast away by a bitter child.

_"__Look, I know a way to get in touch with Mukuro,__"_ Yusuke said, still sounding quite apprehensive._ "__I can call her and see if she__'__ll be up for it, but are you sure Kurama will be able to stand Hiei__'__s kind of love right now?__" _

Kazuma poked his head around the door to the living room, watching Kurama upon lay upon the couch.

"...I gotta reach him," Kazuma whispered into the phone. "He's slipping."

He hated himself for even saying it, but he knew that it was true.

"Hiei may be a dick to me but if there's one thing he does best, it's tying a knot at the end of his rope and holding the hell on," Kazuma lamented.

_"__True, he__'__s a little ass kicker through and through.__" _Yusuke joked, _"__Give me the night to call her... I got a way to patch through to demon world. Can I talk to Kurama for a second though?__" _

Kazuma shrugged, walking over to the couch and sitting down next to Kurama. Kurama glanced at him and the phone that he held out.

"Babe..." Kazuma whispered as Kurama rolled away, unwilling to answer the phone. "It's Yusuke."

Kurama shook his head, but Kazuma didn't give up, pressing the phone to Kurama's ear. Kurama finally relented, sitting up a little to take the phone from Kazuma's hand. Kazuma reached out to gently brush Kurama's choppy bangs from his face. Kurama did not see to recognize the touch.

_"__Hey, man... I__'__m gonna call Enki and get in touch with Mukuro so you and Kuwabara can go on a little vacation to demon world, alright?__" _Kazuma heard Yusuke say . _"__Don__'__t worry about a thing. Hiei__'__s gonna take care of you.__" _

Kurama's eyes flitted for a moment to Kazuma's face before he handed the phone back. Kazuma sighed, taking it, wishing Kurama had at least said something.

"We'll talk to you later," Kazuma mumbled into the phone, stroking Kurama's head as Kurama lay back down on the couch and closed his eyes.

_"__Bye,__"_ Yusuke said, sounding quite dejected.

Kazuma hung up. Kurama said nothing to this change in plans, feigning sleep though Kazuma knew he was still awake. He leaned over and kissed Kurama softly upon the forehead, and though Kurama did not shift away he did not respond to the affection either.

"... It's gonna be alright," Kazuma whispered into his hairline. "Hiei's gonna make it alright."

Kurama said nothing.

* * *

Yusuke sat at his kitchen counter peeling an orange, cursing all the while for knowing what he must do. If anyone but Kazuma Kuwabara had asked, Yusuke would have told them to go take a flying fucking leap... but it was Kazuma and so now Yusuke's hands were efficiently tied.

Keiko smiled at him from across the counter, a glass of wine in one hand and his communicator in the other. Usually kept tucked way safely in an office drawer on the second floor, she now slid it across the counter to him.

Yusuke grimaced at it, uneager to make the call.

"Do it," Keiko said.

"I don't know," Yusuke grumbled.

"Do it," Keiko urged, more insistent. Yusuke sighed with an overdramatic flair as he slipped off the bar stool and came around the counter to embrace her. She set her glass of wine down, smirking even more as she wrapped a hand about his neck and played with the fine hairs at the base of his neck.

"Make me brave," he murmured. She reached up to place a teasing kiss upon his lips. Hinted with wine, he wrapped an arm about her waist and dove deeply into her mouth; how he adored kissing her this way... totally overpowering her till she had no choice but to submit to his every whim.

To be fair, she was the one pulling the real strings. He'd do whatever she wanted with ease; as his tongue plundered her mouth he crept up her shirt with a well-seasoned hand, aiming for her unbound breasts- she wriggled away with a laugh just as the tips of his fingers danced upon a softly pebbled nipple.

"No," she toyed with him, a hand raised in warning. "Go call Enki first."

Now he was even more pressed to get the fucking conversation over with. He pecked her sweetly upon the lips, but as he made to pull away she stopped him with her hand upon his elbow. Reaching into a kitchen drawer they rarely used, she pulled out a pack of his cigarettes and placed them in his hand.

A sign of good faith; ah, what a sweet wife she was. Yusuke kissed her again, this time more softly.

"Just one," she warned.

"Just one," Yusuke repeated, snatching up his communicator and stepping outside their balcony to light up a cigarette and dial Enki's number. As the phone rang Yusuke watched Keiko go about the kitchen, putting dishes away and finishing off her glass of wine.

He liked his life in human world; he liked running his restaurant and screwing Keiko every chance he got... he didn't want to give that up for demon world, for the squabbling and the politics. It was why he'd stayed out of it for years. He liked a good fight, and wanted nothing more than to kick everyone's ass... but he didn't want it if it meant losing Keiko.

The phone picked up.

_"__Yusuke Urameshi!__" _Enki's jovial voice boomed over the phone, _"__I thought you had slipped off the face of the earth! How long__'__s it been... nearly ... ten years now!__" _

"Yeah, I'm slippery like that," Yusuke said. "Listen, I hate to be a bitch but I gotta ask a favor. Do you have a way of getting in touch with Mukuro?"

_"__Well, sure I do!__" _

"Do me a favor and hook me up," Yusuke said. "I have something to ask her. I'd rather do it over the phone than through a letter."

_"__Of course.__" _he could hear the gruff noise of Enki moving about. _"__Now, you know, while she has a communicator you__'__re gonna be darn lucky if you reach her. She rarely ever picks up the phone. I can give you the digits, you just tell me when you__'__re ready.__" _

"Go for it," Yusuke said.

_"__Nine eight nine seven one five six two.__" _

"Nine eight nine seven one five six two," Yusuke parried back. "Let's hope I'm lucky and she picks up."

"She ought to. She'll see your name on the communicator when you call; Good luck, man! Next time you're in demon world ring me up!" Enki said.

"Thanks," Yusuke said, pulling back and hanging up as he punched in Mukuro's numbers. As he pulled the phone back to his face he grumbled into the air.

"If this is the wrong fuckin' number I will kill someone." Yusuke sighed, but his breath jumped when the ringing stopped. Someone had picked up the phone.

"...Mukuro?" Yusuke said allowed.

_"__Urameshi.__" _

That drawl, so smoky and sultry. Mukuro's voice was as unique as the day was long, and boy... was it sexy. Yusuke had to admit, there was something about Mukuro. Then again, it might have just been the fact that she was incredibly powerful and could probably crush his skull in with her bare hands. He'd always had a thing for violent women.

"... I gotta favor to ask," Yusuke said.

_"__Such as?__" _

"A friend of Hiei's is in a real bad place." Yusuke said, "His name is Kurama. He's the one with the red hair; Yomi was using him during the last demon war-"

_"__I remember," _she said, her tone slightly playful as Yusuke was cut off mid explanation.

"Right, well," Yusuke huffed. "His human mother died. He tried to kill himself, they had him a psych ward, he tried to a kill a human, they put him in a spirit world ward... we finally got him home last week but he's... he's not doing good at all. He and Hiei are real close, and I think Hiei might be able to help him. He needs to get out of human world, get away from all of this bullshit. It reminds him of his human mother too much; he's slipping. He's hardly the same guy I remember. Hiei... has a way with people that are grieving. Especially people like Kurama."

For a moment there was silence.

_"__I agree,__" _Mukuro finally said, and something had changed in her tone. She did not sound insincere.

"... I'm assuming Hiei is still with you at your fortress," Yusuke said, wondering if Hiei was even there at all. He was usually on the move, after all. Shit, he could be miles away.

_"__Naturally,__" _Mukuro said, and there was something in the way she said it that made Yusuke grin.

Hiei was fucking Mukuro. Of course he was still at the fortress. Yusuke could respect the game Hiei played.

"You think Kurama and his boyfriend could come stay with you for a small bit? So that Hiei could help him?" Yusuke asked.

_"__... Yes,__" _Mukuro agreed. Yusuke let out a sigh of relief.

"All right, then. I'll give them directions." Yusuke even grinned. "Are you still in the Alaric?"

_"__As a matter of fact, I wander the border.__I lead patrols, guarding the passageways into human world. I can still my guard for a few days, and allow them to slip through. We__'__re in Modha right now. Set the portal, and they__'__ll be quite near us when they arrive.__" _

Yusuke could do that; he could even set a portal up in his basement.

"Thanks," Yusuke said. "You're a swell gal... Hey uh, by the way, is Hiei there?"

_"__Yes,__" _Mukuro said coyly.

"Is he, like... near the phone?" Yusuke asked, for he wondered if it would be better for him to relay all that had happened to Kurama than Mukuro.

_"__He__'__s sitting on my lap,__" _Mukuro said, but as Yusuke burst into a fit of snickering at the thought of Hiei perched on her lap like some kind of sex kitten, he heard a very familiar, angry voice in the background.

_"__You fucking cunt!"_Hiei snarled.

"Can I talk to him?" Yusuke asked in good humor, but suddenly he could hear Hiei snarling much closer as if Mukuro was trying to get him to put the phone to his face.

_"__Don__'__t put that fucking thing near me!__" _

_ "__Quit being a child and speak-" _

_ "__Get off me, you stupid bitch-!__" _

There was a loud thump, and Yusuke winced in spite of himself. He was pretty certain that thump had come from Hiei's ass getting stomped by Mukuro's foot.

_"He's occupied right now," _Mukuro said idly.

"With your foot up his ass, I hope."

_"Indeed." _

"Right, well, jam it up there real good for me, and put the phone near his face," Yusuke said. He hear a shift of air on the other side of the communicator and took a deep breath in to scream at the top of his lungs with the phone out in front of his face.

"Hey, Hiei!" Yusuke bellowed. "I'm sending Kurama your way! He tried to kill himself so you better help him out, you little bastard!"

And with that, he pulled back to speak normally once more.

"Thank you," Yusuke said.

_"A pleasure," _Mukuro said smoothly. _"Goodbye, Urameshi." _

"Later, Mukuro," Yusuke said, and he hung up the phone swiftly.

He looked at it for a moment, still thinking of Hiei on the floor of Mukuro's fortress, no doubt about to get pegged by a very angry bionic bitch.

"Fucker," Yusuke grumbled. Hiei deserved every second of it.


	5. Chapter 5

It was not often that in his adulthood Kazuma felt like a child, but he certainly was having the feeling now with Yusuke before him badgering him to repeat information and Kurama watching him with a slightly sour expression as their portal glowed and swirled expectantly. For the past three days, Yusuke had ground into his brain every topic of demon world society that he felt Kazuma needed to know before heading there with Kurama. Normally, Yusuke admitted, he would have left Kurama to make the niceties and keep them from starting a third war, but Kurama was indisposed and Kazuma would have to do. Yusuke did not feel that Kazuma fully understood the complexities of demon world politics, and Kazuma had to agree. He didn't know demon world, had only been there once, and he'd certainly not interacted with other demons while he was there. He'd merely helped to defeat Sensui, ride on Puu's back, and returned home to a scrumptious double cheeseburger.

Now Kazuma had no idea how long he'd be staying in demon world, with a small pack slung over his shoulder and a communicator stored in his jean pocket. It was a plan B, and one that Kazuma prayed he wouldn't have to use while he was abroad. Despite his anxiety he was resolved to stay until Kurama was better, ready to return. Until Kurama said he wanted to go home, they would not be leaving... and Kazuma knew the difference between an actual eagerness to go home and an eagerness to avoid pain. Kurama would not be able to fool him into magically thinking he was better, not when his eyes were sunken in and his choppy hair stuck out at wild angles.

"Okay." Yusuke braced his hands before Kazuma. "Run by me one more time, all that I told you-"

Kazuma groaned aloud, bending his knees a little as he looked away. Dear _God, _Yusuke could be annoying.

"Goddamnit Urameshi!" Kazuma cursed. "I'm not gonna fuck it up-!"

"Dude, last time I was there, there was a huge demon war!" Yusuke reminded him for what was no doubt the twelfth time that day. "Mukuro was in the middle of it! Please do not invoke a fucking demon war and make me have to come back and deal with it-"

"Okay, okay-!" Kazuma parried him down, eager to have Yusuke shut up and feel content. "God, you're worse than my sister. Do you have Eikichi and-"

"We've got that fur ball," Yusuke assured him. Keiko smiled behind his shoulder, giving him the thumbs up. Frankly, Kazuma would not have entrusted Eikichi to Yusuke unless Keiko was involved... hopefully Keiko remembered Eikichi liked to eat white fish tuna as a treat. Kazuma felt a pang in his heart as he briefly thought about his cat.

"And the plant-!" Kazuma added warily, suddenly remembering about Kurama's mirror plant that was naturally looking glum what with Kurama being indisposed and not feeding it bits of ki.

"And the plant." Yusuke nodded; the mirror plant now sat on the third floor in their kitchen, where it would hopefully receive plenty of warm sunlight and food.

"And don't feed it table food!" Kazuma warned, for he had a feeling Yusuke was going to be giving the plant cool ranch Doritos and Hot Pockets every chance he got.

"I won't feed from the table!" Yusuke scowled, now suddenly under the spot light as Kazuma hassled him. "Either of them!" he added as Kazuma opened his mouth again.

"'Cause Kurama told me never to do that, so you can't either-"

"Are you done naggin' me?" Yusuke demanded angrily with his hands on his hips.

"Well are you done naggin' _me?__" _Kazuma parried back, mimicking Yusuke's pose. Keiko watched the entire interaction with dulled interest.

"You know, this break is probably what both of you need," Keiko mused aloud.

Kurama looked at the portal, his ashen face even more ghostly in its pale blue light.

"This is ridiculous," Kurama whispered, his own bag hanging limply from his fingers.

"It's just a trip," Kazuma offered, hoping to give Kurama a positive edge before they got there... a high goal, to be sure. "You need a vacation."

"To demon world," Kurama finished wryly with a knowing look.

"Yeah!" Kazuma would not be dissuaded. They were going; he'd already made up his mind. Kurama could cry about it all he damn well wanted. "So you can... just..." He shook out his limbs as if he were a palm tree swaying in a gale force wind, "let your vines loose."

Yusuke snorted, but Kurama did not look amused.

"Come on." Kazuma extended his hand; Kurama took it on reflex alone. "Let's go visit Hiei."

"Say hello to the little fucker for me!" Yusuke joked. Kazuma and Kurama stepped forward towards the portal, now on the threshold together. "And?"

"And be respectful to Mukuro," Kazuma growled, hoping Yusuke was not going to detain them any further with more bullshit.

"Unless you got a damn death wish," Yusuke warned. "'Cause she can kill you very easily."

"I'll keep that in mind," Kazuma sneered. Mukuro was no doubt as short tempered and rude as Hiei; if they were in love they had to be similar. They'd probably be arguing within five seconds of seeing each other, but damnit Kazuma was determined to make this work if only for Kurama's sake. He'd just have to put up with both Hiei and Mukuro's bad attitudes while he was their guest. He was damn lucky they'd even agreed to let him come.

"You need me, you call me," Yusuke assured him. "Any time of day or night."

'I will," Kazuma said, patting his jean pocket where his communicator lay. "God _damn,_" he cursed at Yusuke's nagging. "Goodbye!"

And with that, he stepped forward into the portal.

"Bye, man-"

"Bye, guys!" Keiko's voice sounded so very far away as they jumped.

For a moment, they were completely surrounded by white light. There was nothing, they were in a void, but the faint odor of rotting corpses was growing stronger by the minute and Kazuma's grip tightened around Kurama's hand as he saw a pin prick of bright crimson light flash before him. Suddenly the hole was widening, opening up like a gaping mouth, and with very little warning both of them were shot out of the other end of the portal to buckle against the ground of demon world.

The smell of rotting corpses was thick in the air, lighting flashed in the dry heat above them, and a hot wind blew across the black earth. Kazuma slowly staggered to his feet, helping Kurama up, his eyes roving about wildly as he tried to take in every detail.

"Holy shit!"

Kazuma was thrown completely off track upon seeing a truly massive metal... _thing _in front of him. It had ten pairs of legs, each as thick and wide as a house, with a strangely bug like shape to its body; it was enormous, like a small mountain before him, and it gleamed in the lighting of demon world's skies.

What on earth _was _that thing?

They were by a forest, or at least on the edge of one, and everywhere Kazuma looked he saw soldiers decked in hues of grey-blue, a strange steely armor upon each of their scaled, fury, or winged bodies. These men were all a part of the same unit, or at least they dressed like they were, but one or two stood out to Kazuma such as a man who was coming forward with a helmet on his face that utterly disguised his appearance beneath. He was tall, about Kazuma's height, but he was strong and clearly held some authority on the men around them who backed up as he walked past. A breast plate of whitest bone covered his strong chest, and a slit in his heavy mask showed two dark eyes peering down. His gray hair spilled out from around the straps of his mask, making him a truly bizarre character to Kazuma who had never seen someone so oddly dressed before. As the man walked up, he inclined his head to both of them.

"Welcome to demon world," the man said. "You're the pair Mukuro is expecting?"

"That's us," Kazuma said, glancing at Kurama for a minute who was watching the man dully. "Uh... Who are you?"

He just felt so damn out of place all of a sudden. He wondered if this man could take them to Mukuro or at least point the way.

"I am Kirin. Mukuro's former second in command." Kirin inclined his head ever so slightly again.

"Well, uh... hey." Kazuma didn't know whether he should shake this guy's hand or not. Did you shake hands with a demon when they greeted you? If only Yusuke had mentioned _this _in his rants! "I'm Kazuma Kuwabara, and this is-"

"Kurama," Kirin finished.

Kazuma looked over at Kurama and found him glaring at Kirin in such a way that Kazuma suddenly doubted they were strangers.

"I am aware of your names," Kirin said, not unkindly. "Follow me."

Kirin turned and began walking toward the metal behemoth that had so captured Kazuma's attention. Kazuma glanced once or twice at Kurama, realized that Kurama was not following, and grabbed Kurama's hand to pull him along after Kirin. Kurama was wary and tense, his eyes darting about as he took in each of the men who watched them pass, but no one said anything to them as they approached the under belly of the iron beast. Kazuma looked up over his head, utterly shocked at how large this contraption was. He wondered if it could move; it certainly seemed to be able to, what with its ten legs. How had it been built, and who had built it? The architect in him had a million questions. He wondered what its wiring system looked like and if it had any weaknesses.

"What is this thing?" Kazuma asked, unable to keep quiet as Kirin threw up a hand; a lift from the underbelly began to lower with the sound of deep metallic gears. Kazuma could now see that up inside there was some sort of open aired space, well lit and deep maroon in color. As the lift touched the ground, Kirin stepped on and silently gestured for Kazuma and Kurama to do the same. Kazuma stepped on, bracing Kurama a little as the lift began to rise again; it was unnerving, to go so very high into the air on such a small platform.

"This is the bug," Kirin explained, "Our roaming center of operation and where Mukuro resides."

"It's huge," Kazuma gushed. "How did she build this?"

She was probably an asshole, but damn Mukuro had an eye for architecture.

"Mukuro's connections are wide and deep. She has procured this beast through centuries of diligent discipline and intelligent contacts."

As the lift stopped, Kazuma looked around and beheld a wide cavernous hallway filled with remaining soldiers; one of them was at a control panel, no doubt used to activate the lift. Kirin paid them all very little mind as he stepped off and starting walking left down a large hallway. They followed, Kazuma still holding Kurama's hand to make sure he kept up. Kirin took powerful strides, and Kazuma wanted to make sure they didn't get left behind. Mukuro's bug was oddly lavish despite being bare. The walls looked like muscles ribbed and lined, with fires lighting the way overhead in deep hanging domes. Stairs lead up all around them, but Kirin took them all the way to the end of the hall where a seemingly bare wall greeted them. Kirin's touch, however, revealed a hidden door and a set of stairs. They went up, the door closing behind Kurama's back. Kazuma wondered how Kirin had activated the door, and why these stairs were hidden. He wondered where they were going, and who was waiting for them at the other end. Was he going to meet Mukuro today? Maybe they were just being taken to Hiei. God, it was all so damn confusing.

At the top of the stairs, they reached another hallway, but it was much quieter and only a few soldiers were here. None of them wore the gray uniforms, yet Kazuma could tell they were still in rank... after all, when Kirin past they stepped aside.

"So uh, does Hiei live here?" Kazuma asked.

"Unfortunately yes," Kirin ground out, sounding thoroughly annoyed by the name. Kazuma could not help but feel sorry for Kirin.

"Oh, he get on your nerves too?" Kazuma joked.

Kirin made a deep noise. "If there were a word for it, I would proclaim it before god like a prayer."

"I feel you man. I really do." Kazuma snorted. Kirin shot him a look, and Kazuma could tell he was smiling beneath his mask. Kirin seemed all right for a demon, a little odd in uniform but... all right. They reached the middle of the hall and stopped before a pair of large double doors.

"Behind these doors is the hall on which Mukuro resides," Kirin explained, gesturing to the doors. "You will find her at the end, waiting for you."

"... Thanks," Kazuma said, now feeling very apprehensive. He took the doorknob in hand and opened it to look around inside; it was disturbing. The walls were made of teeth, compact into tight little rows in macabre fashion. There was a rug beneath his feet, old and worn, and at the end of a short hall stood a pair of dark double doors... once again, they were alone. Kirin did not follow them down the hall.

"... This is disturbing," Kazuma murmured as he looked at the teeth and skulls.

"This is nothing," Kurama muttered back.

Kazuma felt incredibly nervous as they walked and stopped before the doors of Mukuro's room. Kazuma knew she would be mean, probably snide and shitty like Hiei... but he would hold it in. He would be civil, pleasant, and thank her for her hospitality. He would do it not because he hoped to become Mukuro's friend but because he truly wanted Kurama to get help from Hiei. If that meant dealing with this bionic bitch then...well... that was what he had to do. He was a man, after all. He would stand by his partner.

Kazuma reached out, took the door knob in hand, and pulled it open.

Inside lay a very large purple cloaked bed that was tilted so high up it could have been a chair or a throne. Upon it was a woman, crossed legged and reading a large aged document. A set of chairs and a shallow table were part of the bare furnishings of this room; a wardrobe stood on the far side, hiding a slim door that Kazuma could only just see. He was shocked to find Hiei in the room, though Kirin hadn't mentioned it. Hiei was by the bed, leaning against it and looking very sour indeed as he glared at Kazuma.

Clearly somebody was in a peachy mood to be pickled with.

Yet Kazuma could not look at Hiei, not when he could instead observe the woman upon the bed... a strange creature with a vivid roving white eye and a gentle grin upon her oddly pretty face. She had auburn hair, half of which was short and frayed against her burnt skull and the other half of which was down to her shoulders, thick and slightly curled at the end. Her one good eye was deep blue, almost purple, and it held an ancient wisdom in its depth that could not be denied even by a stranger. She wore rather odd clothing too, with a red sash about her waist and a purple vest with gold trim over her shoulders. The cybernetic lens that covered her roving eye was slightly see through, hidden only barely behind a scrap of deep cloth that tied a hearing piece to the side of her head. She was truly damaged, with a bionic arm that she laid casually over her chest.

Kazuma was speechless, but not in an unflattering way.

She didn't look... mean.

"Welcome to the bug," the woman said; her voice was deep and smooth, almost like Shizuru's but without the rasp of a smoker. "You must be Kuwabara."

"... Are you psychic, too?" Kazuma asked, gesturing over to Hiei who he knew had telepathic powers due to that weird third eye of his. Hiei let out a loud, angry scowl, throwing his hand up in the air irritably.

"Oh my GOD," Hiei spat, crossing his hands over his chest and looking away.

"... You're Mukuro," Kazuma continued on. Mukuro bowed her head once, a smile playing upon her face.

She seemed so calm so... relaxed. He'd been expecting someone with a temper, someone who had a sharp mouth and a knack for picking out their opponents weak spots... but.. Mukuro seemed pleasant. Relatively at ease, even.

"Uh... Hello," Kazuma said, still quite flabbergasted with this sudden change of tune in plans, "My name is-"

"Kuwabara," Mukuro repeated, her smile widening. Kazuma realized Mukuro had already addressed him. Damnit, now he was going to look like an idiot. God only knows what Hiei had said before he'd gotten there.

"Yes," Kazuma flustered, gesturing to Kurama. "This is Kurama, my partner. Kurama isn't feeling so great so I thought I'd take him here to get some R and R, you know?" Kazuma tried. Mukuro just smiled demurely. "He and Hiei are best friends, so-"

"What the fuck does this look like to you?" Hiei snarled from the corner. "A god damn bed and breakfast?"

"Hiei." Mukuro said his name, and Hiei seemed to be jilted back from his tirade of insults. He looked away with a dark scowl.

"Urameshi said there was a death, a rather prominent one." Mukuro spoke to Kurama now. "I am sorry."

She did not sound insincere.

Kurama swallowed, grinding his teeth a little before he spoke up for the first time.

"Thank you. For your hospitality."

Mukuro shrugged. "You're tired and I have a bed," she said. Hiei glared at this, as if wishing they didn't have a bed. Some best friend he was! It was starting to get on Kazuma's nerves, but Kazuma was determined not to let Hiei get to him as he focused on Mukuro instead. He couldn't believe this calm and even charming woman was dating Hiei. Did she not realize she could do better?

"Yeah, I mean, I know this is weird," Kazuma apologized. "I don't want to bother you guys or another-"

"No, no... don't fret," Mukuro waved it off with another simple smile. "There's more than enough room in the torture dungeons."

Kazuma did a double take, suddenly imagining them sleeping on a dirty cot in a pool of blood- but Hiei sneered loudly and he looked up to see him walking behind the bed. As he did so, Kazuma noticed his fingers trailed ever so gently across the length of Mukuro's shoulder, behind her neck, and then to the other side.

Kazuma would not be forgetting that detail; he had never seen Hiei touch someone in that way. Yet Mukuro didn't look about it, it seemed almost to be normal or even expected.

"Honestly," Hiei jeered, "are you so dense?"

"I'm not stupid," Kazuma growled, his teeth clenched. "I'm ... a little outnumbered."

This was, after all his first true trip into demon world. Hiei smirked, his hand still absently touching Mukuro's shoulder.

"Difficult to hold your own when Kurama's not holding your hand?" Hiei sneered.

"I'm gonna pound your fuckin' face in!" Kazuma snarled, his anger leaping up in a way that it hadn't done for quite some time. God, Hiei knew how to rub him raw! "You know that?!"

"You do realize I'll be pounding back?" Hiei observed his fingernails absently.

"Shut the fuck up, Hiei!" Kazuma roared, throwing an arm out wide in an attempt to face off with the runt. "I can take you on any day, any time, any place! Right now!" He pointed to the ground. "Right here, if you want!"

He stretched out a hand, testing for his spirit sword- god it felt good to let the energy pump into his palm again-! But a tinkling laugh came from Mukuro and Kazuma's energy was completely thrown off as he found her... happy at their squabble. She was smiling, beaming even, as she looked at the sour expression upon Hiei's face.

"You are a treasure indeed," she mused with a comical air. "I may just keep you around if only to rile Hiei up. I'm the only one brave enough to do it here, but I admire your spunk on the subject." She folded her arms over her chest.

...Were they... dating or not? Kazuma found it hard to believe that Mukuro was okay with him cussing Hiei out if they were dating.

Did she just not care?

But then, Kazuma remembered how Hiei had lain upon Yusuke's restaurant floor, broken and bloody, dying-... the memory left him suddenly very tense before this woman.

She didn't care if Hiei got hurt, and that did not set right with him.

"Hiei." Mukuro turned. Hiei looked at her, and she gestured to Kurama. Hiei scowled at her. She glared at him reproachfully.

"This is ridiculous," Hiei muttered underneath his breath.

"What is so ridiculous about me needing aid Hiei?" Kurama asked, weary from the bickering already.

"From me?" Hiei gestured to himself.

"Drop this pompous act," Kurama commanded. "I do not have the energy to spare for it. Who is it even for, Hiei? Mukuro or Kazuma?"

"You knew this was going to happen," Hiei growled, glaring now intensely at Kurama as if Kurama had inconvenienced him; such a thought made Kazuma see red. Dammit, he'd thought Hiei would help Kurama. But if this was all he was gonna do then-

"Why has it shocked you so much?" Hiei demanded. "You look ready to fall over."

Kurama just stared.

"... The fuck did you do to your hair?!" Hiei gestured harshly. "Did you lop it off with a sword or something?!"

Once again, Kurama just stared.

Hiei looked away, shaking his head. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, turning back to glare coolly at Kurama as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"There's a room down the hall. Take it or don't. I don't give a shit," Hiei growled. He headed for the door, brushing rudely past Kazuma and jerking the door open with some force.

"Hiei," Mukuro warned.

Hiei stopped, looked over his shoulder at her, then slipped out the door with a much more somber air. It closed again behind him. Suddenly they were alone with her, and Mukuro looked slightly less happy.

"He'll get your room ready," Mukuro assured them. "We have one that'll suffice. I usually have it around for diplomatic guests. I'm no longer a member of demon world politics but still people come to ask me for advice. The idiocy of it is staggering. They'd rather deprive themselves of oxygen than admit I care nothing for the state of affairs. With you taking the room, I can avoid their hassles and claim I'm entertaining you instead. I thank you for the excuse."

"We are ready made," Kazuma mumbled, still thinking about how Hiei had been so beaten upon that restaurant floor. Hiei had touched her, stood beside her, but she didn't seem to care if he stayed there or what he did when he left. Was that really love? Were they just... lusting after one another? Dammit, all of a sudden Kazuma felt like Hiei could do better. Hiei might have been an asshole, but he deserved someone who would care for him and love him, not beat him up and leave him to die.

No one deserved that.

"Urameshi told me that you shared a life in human world," Mukuro said. "Once again, I thank you for the entertainment since Hiei is utterly spited by it. I'll have much fun calming him down." She smiled again, even chuckling a little.

Kazuma found none of it funny.

"He needs to shut the fuck up," Kazuma grumbled.

"Leave that to me." Mukuro laughed with dark intent. "Hiei knows better than to rile me up."

Kazuma did a double take, looking back at Mukuro with great alarm. That hard edge in her voice, so clearly insidious, unnerved him greatly.

It alluded to pain, should Hiei ever cross her temper.

"He loves you," Kazuma said. "Why would you say something like that?"

Mukuro was shocked, and suddenly a very tense silence fell upon them. Kurama grabbed his elbow, leaning into his ear.

"Be careful what you say." he whispered softly.

Kazuma suddenly felt very uneasy in Mukuro's presence and wanted Hiei back. Thank god, Hiei appeared, as if called forth from Kazuma's need alone. Entering the room, Hiei glared at them before coming to stand beside Mukuro again and refolding his arms.

"Make yourselves comfortable... fourth door on the right." Mukuro tried for a smile but Kazuma did not share in it, despite her easy air, he no longer found her charming. He almost found her frightening, to know that she could turn from being so calm to a killer. He would honestly prefer someone like Hiei, who raged in the open and the clear. "Why not rest and relax? It is a hassle to travel through portals, I feel. Hiei and I work on the upper terrace. Should you ever go searching for us, you will find us there."

Kazuma nodded, noticing Kurama was turning to leave, but as he touched the door knob, he stopped.

He stopped, and he remembered.

Hiei had been nearly dead in his arms, broken like a twig, and his ashen face had been utterly wrought with pain upon waking... not entirely the physical kind.

_"__I__'__m not enough!__" _

Hiei's words haunted Kazuma. He turned around, looked at Hiei... saw him skulking by Mukuro's bed. Did he honestly feel that he was not enough? That he was not worthy of love or affection from another unless pain was involved. The thought sickened him.

"Before I leave," Kazuma said, looking up at Mukuro, "I have something I need to say to you."

"Kazuma-" Kurama grabbed his elbow, but Kazuma did not stop.

He could not stop; not when he knew he was right and it needed to be said.

"You don't hit what you love," Kazuma said, Mukuro was immediately taken aback. "It isn't right to beat up the person you're in love with-"

Hiei let out a noise like an animal, whirling about with piercing red eyes on Kazuma.

"Have you lost your goddamn mind?" Hiei snarled.

"Thank you for the insight," Mukuro replied, that casual smile still upon her lips. Kazuma shook his head; she didn't seem to understand, or maybe she just didn't care. Either way he wasn't finished.

"What you did that day was wrong!" Kazuma continued. "Hiei may be a jerk but he doesn't deserve to get beat up by the person he's in love with; I know it's probably really difficult to deal with him when he's got an attitude- trust me I know-!" Kazuma snorted; Hiei was still snarling, "But you can't use that as an excuse to hurt him, not when he loves you-!"

"Get out!" Hiei roared. "Get out now or I'll kill you!"

Mukuro carried right on with their conversation, unperturbed by her lover's violent rage.

"I confess I lost my temper that day," Mukuro said. Kazuma could feel Kurama's grip numbingly tight upon his elbow. "It is a rare event, I assure you."

"When he arrived to us, he was nearly dead-!" Kazuma began, "I cradled him in my arms, his body felt like it was snapped in two-!"

"All for his pride," Mukuro assured him. "Had he returned to me, given that I was only a half a mile away, he would not have been so grievously injured-"

"You-" Hiei frothed and foamed, pacing back and forth as he spat out venomous words, "You dare to assume that you can speak on such matters!?"

"Well you guys are in love, right?!" Kazuma demanded. Hiei paled, looking up at Kazuma with such an expression that Kazuma felt certain a fight was about to break out. Reckless and proud, he poured through: "Why is it such a problem to say that out loud? Why are you pretending you don't love her when you do? You need to be more open about it, it's not like someone's gonna hurt you-!"

Those words seemed to trigger a wild animalistic response in Hiei. He lunged forward, sword whipped up, but even as he made to rush Kazuma, Mukuro reached and grabbed him deftly by the arm yanking him back to the bed. Hiei nearly fell onto it, seething with rage, but he did not move to strike Kazuma twice.

It was odd. Both Mukuro and Kurama were holding them by their elbows.

"I can see why you make him so uncomfortable." Mukuro smirked, glancing down at Hiei. Was it Kazuma's imagination, or was Mukuro stroking the inside of Hiei's elbow with her thumb in an almost soothing manner. "You aren't afraid to show you care. He despises that."

Hiei jerked his elbow hard out of Mukuro's grip and sheathed his sword. He stormed back over the door, not touching Kazuma as he made to wrench it open-

"Hiei..." Mukuro called out. Once again, Hiei stopped. So close to him, Kazuma could see the fine sweat upon Hiei's bandaged brow, could see the muscle jumping in his jaw. Hiei looked almost... afraid. "Come back here; I want to talk with you some more."

Hiei looked at Kazuma. Those eyes were murderous, so full of rage; Kazuma took an instinctual step back, blocking Hiei's path to Kurama in case Hiei whipped out that sword again.

But he didn't.

Hiei let the door stay open, and suddenly Kazuma was being pulled through it by Kurama who seemed quite eager to get them away from Mukuro before Kazuma could say anything else.

Kazuma still had no idea what to make of that parting comment _"__You aren__'__t afraid to show you care. He despises that-__" _

Why was Hiei so afraid to show he cared? What honest good did it do him to lie all the time? Hiei closed the door to Mukuro's room in Kazuma's face, and though the barrier was firm he could still hear the snarling coming from the other side.

_"__If you think for one god damn minute-__" _

_ "__Shut up, Hiei. You__'__re fooling no one." _

_ "__You__'__re speaking out of your ass, and it__'__s starting to piss me off-!__" _

_ "__Why did you ignore him, Hiei? You had every opportunity to express your condolences but you-__" _

Kurama was pulling him away, down the hall. Even as they walked, they could still hear the faint echoes of the shouting. Kurama took them four doors down on the right, and he opened the room to find it small but comfortable with a good sized bed and a trunk at the end of it. It seemed relatively nice, with a bed almost like Mukuro's. Or had it been a chair? Kazuma still wasn't sure. It was a weird ass chair if that's what it was.

Kurama closed the door as soon as Kazuma was over the threshold, leaning against it and rubbing his face with his hands. He looked utterly exhausted.

"Kazuma..." Kurama murmured warningly into his palms before dropping his hands and looking at him.

They were about to have a fight, Kazuma could tell, but god, he wished they weren't. Not when Kurama was so weak already and Kazuma had just been trying to do the right thing-!

"I agree with your words," Kurama said, giving him a warning look. "But if you love Hiei as a teammate and a friend... do not ever say them to Mukuro again. They are private people. Their love is likewise just as hidden, and I know for a fact that Hiei is terrified of admitting his love for her openly."

"But why?" Kazuma demanded. Kurama groaned, looking away.

"Imagine every time you said the phrase 'I love you', that person died," Kurama replied. Kazuma waited, unnerved by the very concept. "After a while, you'd stop saying it. Wouldn't you?"

"I mean... I don't see how the two are connected-"

"Well, they are," Kurama growled. "In demon world, they are. There is a lot to lose when you play your hand so openly. Especially when you are dealing with love."

Kurama sighed and looked away again, rubbing his eyes.

Kazuma could not help but agree.


	6. Chapter 6

In the world of demons there was an air, an aura, that all knew and respected. It was the field of energy that swirled about two fighters, the clash of ki and the spark of bloody battle which might rage for hours or days. The stronger the pair, the longer the battle, but as Hiei and Kurama faced one another on the outskirts of a black and wiry forest, they both knew this battle would be short. The reasons behind it were not for conquest or treasure, not for fame or glory... Instead, this fight was for pain; for its end.

Hiei stood before Kurama, his hands clasped firmly behind his back, his supple black hair flitting in the hot wind that swept between them. Kurama's arms were laced over his chest, feet spread in a weak fighting stance.

Hiei had been goading him for a fight all day, ever since Kurama had woken up and attempted to find something to eat on the bug. Throughout the day Hiei would not let him be, and had followed him as he had left the bug to take a walk on the edge of the woods before Kazuma could track him down. They were before one another now because Kurama had run out of time, room, and reasons to avoid Hiei. He'd officially hit the dead end. Hiei knew it.

"It is down to you, and it is down to me," Hiei began. "Psychiatrists could not help you, your lover could not reach you; I will now do both. Painfully." He growled the word.

"Are you threatening me, Hiei?" Kurama asked, his voice still rather raspy from the lye and therapy. "Because I don't see that ending well for you."

But Kurama's words were flimsy and weak, much like his battle stance, and he knew that it would not take Hiei long to beat the truth from him. Kurama trusted Hiei, believed in him, and knew that Hiei (for all his shitty mouthing off) would help him if Kurama only gave him the opportunity. Kurama knew what Hiei needed, an incentive to fight. He was waiting now like a snake in the grass, still before the strike.

Hiei narrowed his almond eyes.

"Fight me and reclaim your honor," he demanded.

"My honor?" Kurama repeated.

"Your honor is tarnished," Hiei explained, his tone snide and forbearing. "You have quarreled with yourself and _lost.__"_He said it coldly. "Your mind is a skewed and disgusting place filled with marring memories of loving embraces now cold and dead; your skin is itching for the arms of a woman you will never be able to hold again. You are laid low by yourself. You have committed social dishonor, emotional sabotage... and you have insulted your mother's memory. Fight me, and reclaim your honor."

Kurama ground his teeth at the mention of Shiori, for every one of Hiei's accusations were on point and ugly to confront.

"... Hiei, do not mention her-"

"Shiori," Hiei said the name. It was like a knife twisted in Kurama's gut.

Kurama glared at Hiei, but Hiei did not relent nor back down. The snake was now moving in the weeds.

"... _Shiori,__"_Hiei said the name again, over and over, making Kurama's upper lip jump in a maddening haze of rage, "Shiori, Shiori, Sh-"

Kurama's vision went red; he reached to his choppy hair and summoned-

_"__ROSE WHIP!__"_

* * *

Kurama had wanted solitude and silence but had found neither all day as Hiei continually harassed him for a fight. Kazuma was powerless to stop them, to be fair he knew that he shouldn't interject when Hiei was attempting to help Kurama, and so when Kurama had vanished to the wood with Hiei hot on his tail, Kazuma had let him go. Mukuro had said that if Kazuma wanted to find her she would be on the upper terrace, and so Kazuma had asked Kirin for instructions on how to reach it and found her there watching the ground below like a hawk from up high.

The roof of the BUG was smooth and metal, tapered round the edges and a good place to keep look out with such a high vantage point. It had to be at least twenty to fifteen stories high... it was difficult to know for sure, but Kazuma was certain it was at least over ten. A spiral staircase took a viewer up a tightly wound walk that ended in a trap door that could be unlatched and thrown back. It was already cast aside, letting in fresh air and hot crimson light from the outer world. Kazuma was starting to not notice the stench of corpses so much, but he was certain that upon returning home all his clothes would have to be incinerated. God forbid anyone catch him smelling like a dead body at work. Storms were brewing overhead, making the air feel thicker than usual, and Kazuma wondered if it was going to rain.

She stood some ways off, her arms both metal and flesh over her chest, her red sash flitting about in the haggard and hot breeze. If she noticed his presence, she said nothing. He felt slightly sick as he looked down over the sliding edge of the roof, noting that should he fall now, he would die immediately upon hitting the ground... that would not be a clean or comfortable way to go. Swallowing his fear, Kazuma walked forward with cautious steady steps and stood beside Mukuro.

Down below, he had a perfect view of the outskirts of the woods, and could see all the way into their depth to where a valley lay on the other side littered with villages. Mountains covered the north in the far distance, and to the west there lay a massive sprawling forest even more grand and dark than the small one by which they stood. To the east, more valleys and plains. To the south, the looming empire of dark and ugly cliffs on the other side of a foul wood.

"I thought you might seek me out," Mukuro stated. Kazuma looked at her, noting that her normal eye seemed quite calm and relaxed. "Hiei has Kurama quite... entertained."

Kazuma looked over the side, and his stomach clenched with worry as he saw Hiei and Kurama fighting viciously. Kurama was slashing at Hiei with his whip, darting through the trees and no doubt trying to gain ground, but Hiei was following relentlessly with his sword in hand. The pair of them were fast, and difficult to keep a watch on, but Kazuma knew from the sounds of shouting and angry conversation that this was not really a battle of whips and swords but of words. This moment, this scene, was what Kazuma had brought them to demon world for.

Hiei would beat the grief out of Kurama; he would give him no choice but to deal with it.

"Perhaps this shall soothe him," Mukuro said, and Kazuma had no idea if she was talking about Kurama or Hiei. "Hiei has been known to go for days when he's in the mood."

"... I hope Kurama can find some peace in it," Kazuma murmured. If this fight went poorly, their entire trip would have been for nothing and Kazuma would be back to square one with no ideas on how to help Kurama.

He did not want to be back to square one. Not when it involved nightmares, and a comatose state.

"He will." Mukuro seemed quite content in the fact. "This is our way. Humans are soothed by love. Demons are soothed by blood. When the wounds of time become too great to bear, we make our own wounds and cut them deep into our skin. As our flesh spills out, so our hearts are cleansed."

The image was macabre and made him queasy. He grimaced at Mukuro and found her grinning at him.

"... You think Hiei can reach him?" Kazuma asked, simply because he was so very eager to get off the topic of blood and guts.

"Mmm." Mukuro nodded, looking back out over the battle which had now taken Hiei and Kurama into the heart of the forest. Even from such a distance, he could still hear them screaming faintly in the wind.

_"__I WILL EAT YOU TO THE BONE AND BREAK YOU BETWEEN MY FINGERS!__"_

_"__YOU!? YOU CAN__'__T EVEN TELL YOUR OWN SISTER THAT YOU LOVE HER!__"_

"If there is anyone in this world or the next that understands grief and how to handle it... it is Hiei," Mukuro said. Kazuma did not necessarily agree with that statement.

"What makes you say that?" Kazuma asked, "Hiei always had this anger problem when he was working with me."

Mukuro just laughed, tickled by his words.

"Hiei has never _not _had an anger problem, Kuwabara," Mukuro agreed with a soft smile, "His anger is his way of explaining his emotions. Like the vivid hues of oil and paint, his anger has different emotions layered underneath." She gestured with her hand out before her, like an artist at his brush, "Consider... calm, subtle irritation." Mukuro smiled, "When all is well with the world. Then this anger-" She pointed to the forest where they could see Hiei and Kurama dancing in and out of tree tops, "Hot and fresh, emotional and raw-"

"Concern," Kazuma supplied.

"Indeed." Mukuro smiled, dropping her hand to lace her fingers behind her back.

But it still made absolutely no sense to Kazuma, whose own anger had never been so sharp nor as ugly as Hiei's. Why was Hiei so damn angry all the time? Why the shitty attitude? Why the abrasive personality? Fuck, it wasn't like any of them had ever tried to hurt him or take advantage of him in a moment of weakness. Didn't that make them at least somewhat trustworthy in Hiei's eyes?

"What is his deal, though?" Kazuma asked, for if anyone knew about Hiei's personality it would be Mukuro. "Why is he always like this?"

Mukuro frowned.

"Hiei has much grief in his heart," she said. "You know this."

"I do?" Kazuma replied, for if he did that was news to him. He didn't know shit about Hiei.

Mukuro looked at him. "You're Hiei's teammate. A friend, even... and yet you don't know?"

"Well I mean, he never really let us in," Kazuma admitted. "Kurama knows the most, but even he doesn't know a lot."

"Mmm." Mukuro looked back out over the wiry forest.

A silence suddenly grew between them and the more it dragged on the more Kazuma felt uneasy about the subject of Hiei's supposed grief. Where had Hiei come from? What was his story? How had he and Yukina even gotten separated in the first place, and why was it that Hiei couldn't tell her he was her brother (even when it was obvious she knew)? Why all the secrets, the lies, the hating?

Kazuma wondered.

"Did something... bad happen to Hiei?" Kazuma asked.

"Many things."

Kazuma winced.

"Did... someone hurt him-"

"Many people."

"Are they still alive?"

Mukuro cocked a head at this, deliberating. "I believe so, yes."

Kazuma looked out over the trees, where Hiei was dancing from branch to branch wearing Kurama down with each blow of his sword.

"I could get revenge for him," Kazuma mused, for it wouldn't bother him to lift a sword to defend Hiei if it helped Hiei to understand that he was a friend. Shit, maybe Hiei might even be nicer to him.

Mukuro was shaking her head, smiling. It seemed his words had charmed her, for she gave him an endearing look.

"No, there's no need for that," she assured him. "Hiei will get revenge when he is ready. He too is traveling down the road of grief and pain. When it's time, he will handle it his own way."

It was easy to imagine, when Mukuro was speaking in such a tone and using such lovely words, that she was calm all the time and could inflict no harm. Yet Kazuma had seen Hiei's body, the proof of the damage Mukuro could do. Hiei was no push over; he did not go down without a struggle... and something that could bring Hiei to his knees was something that needed to be treated with utmost care and caution. Yusuke's words were starting to make a great deal of sense to Kazuma.

Mukuro was dangerous. She was not evil, conniving, or rude like Hiei but she was dangerous.

And yet...

When Hiei had run his hand upon her shoulders; when he had looked at her across the room and done her bidding silently... when she'd grabbed him by the elbow...

"You really give him a sense of peace," Kazuma said, for even though they bickered, it could not be denied that Hiei had been calmer around Mukuro. Almost... docile. "I noticed that the other day."

"Do I?" Mukuro asked, slightly coy in tone. She smiled a little at Kazuma.

"You touched him, the other day... you grabbed his elbow. And he ran his hands over your shoulders. I noticed that," Kazuma explained. "And when you asked him to stay, he did, even though he looked like he wanted to run. That's love in Hiei's language, I guess," Kazuma finished lamely. Really, he was no expert on Hiei's emotions. If anything, he was a victim.

"Perhaps it is." Mukuro shrugged; their conversation was momentarily jarred as a cracking, splintering sound filled the air and a massive tree in the forest came railing down into the woods that surrounded it. Ravens took flight, cawing overhead as they whistled past, almost eye level with Mukuro and Kazuma. They could hear Kurama shouting now, his voice loud and angry, emotional and heavy with guilt.

_"__I CANNOT-!__" _

"Oh, come now, not the foliage," Mukuro grumbled. "Focus on the battle and stop dicking around, Hiei."

"What's he doing?" Kazuma asked, suddenly quite nervous. Kurama had sounded almost in pain when he'd shouted. Damnit, was Hiei hurting him?

"Hiei is going to run Kurama into the ground so that Kurama has no choice but to face his emotions. A very smart tactic when facing someone so analytical and calculating. Take their logic away from them, and let them flounder..." Mukuro smiled smugly. "Yes, Hiei is nothing if not a brilliant strategist."

There was something in the way she said it, something appraising and proud.

Here was the woman that loved Hiei. Kazuma could hear it in her voice, see it in her face. The expression of longing that lovers so often wore. Even half marred by scars, Mukuro still looked lightly flustered as she said Hiei's name.

"... How did you meet?" Kazuma asked. Mukuro blushed, looking at him warily.

Kazuma did not mean to be so nosy, but he was very curious.

"Was it love at first sight?" He jested.

"No." Mukuro snorted, looking away. "It was not."

She snorted to herself again, but Kazuma could see her expression slipping into deep thought. Perhaps she was remembering.

"Hope he wasn't too mean to you," Kazuma joked. "You can't take hurtful words back."

Mukuro smiled at him, and Kazuma could tell he was amusing her.

"He came to me to die." Mukuro said.

Kazuma did a double take, his grin slipping off his face.

"For six months I unleashed over five thousand A-class apparitions on him and let him battle his way out in the torture chambers. It exhausted him... forced him to confront his demons." She gestured out to the woods, where things had suddenly gotten very quiet, "Then I brought forth a person who, though I did not know it at the time, would force the final confrontation... the final end." Mukuro paused, reflecting, "They battled to the death. Hiei wanted to die, and so he committed simultaneous seppuku by the other's sword. A truly honorable death, an exquisite battle that I have never seen topped. It lasted, perhaps... five seconds." Mukuro gestured, "I was determined to have him in my service after that. I revived him and made him the head of my army... and Kirin lost his position."

Suddenly Kazuma could see why Kirin hated Hiei. Hiei had stolen his damn job.

But- Hiei had tried to die? Nobody had ever mentioned that to him! He wondered if anyone else knew- if suddenly he was the first person to be let in on a secret.

Now he was starting to see why Kurama and Yusuke had been so silent about Hiei's position and problems. It was very weighing to know something as heavy as a "Hiei-secret".

"... Why did he want to die?" Kazuma asked.

Mukuro looked away.

It became clear that she was unwilling to answer, and Kazuma realized he'd pushed too far. Now that he thought about it, it was none of his damn business why Hiei had wanted to die. He was just glad Hiei _hadn__'__t _died.

"Well, I'm glad you saved him," Kazuma murmured. Mukuro looked back at him, and there was a smile upon her face again.

"Hiei is usually quite determined to live," Mukuro said. "It was easy to re-spark his interest."

"Yeah, he was always kickin' ass back when we fought together-" Kazuma agreed, but his words were cut off when a terrible gut wrenching scream filled the air. More birds flew from trees, and Kazuma looked around with a start.

That had sounded like Kurama.

"Be at ease," Mukuro said quickly. "That was not a scream of physical pain."

But now Kazuma was starting to get very concerned; Hiei was callous and difficult to manage, his temper could flare up without warning and damage anyone who was too close. If Kurama was on the receiving end of an undeserved blast, it could end him. He barely had enough strength to move about now a days- a fight had been too much to ask for.

"This is why you came here," Mukuro reminded him. "Let Hiei do what he must."

"Damnit, I don't know if this is a good idea anymore." Kazuma took a step towards the trap door.

Mukuro did not make to stop him; would she think him rude if he left?

Kazuma did not know this woman, did not know how she might react if displeased... but Kurama needed him; that alone was worth Mukuro's rumored wrath.

Besides. She loved a man. Perhaps she'd understand.

Kazuma turned and ran for the trap door.

It took far too long for his liking to reach downstairs, and when he managed to get to the lift he only waited for it to be lowered half way before jumping out and hitting the ground at a run. The impact jarred his ankles, but Kazuma didn't care, taking off for the woods where he could hear faint screaming.

He had not run so fast in a while, and the adrenaline rush of oxygen burning wildly through his lungs made his fingers and toes tingle. He made it to the woods and headed straight for the center, unsure of where he'd find Kurama or what condition he would be in. Part of him was afraid, part of him was angry, but all of him was concerned in that moment as Kurama's wail of agony echoed in his mind.

He followed the sounds of muted battle until he came to a grotto in the woods where massive tree trunks made for thick obstacles around the fighters path. Both Hiei and Kurama were sweating, battling hand to hand now instead of with sword and whip. Kurama was shaking wildly, whether from adrenaline or pain, Kazuma could not tell, but he hung back for a moment on the frame of their vision as Hiei kept his hands up and prowled about Kurama. He leered and weaved, a flickering flame that threatened to melt the flesh of all who touched it.

"You knew she was mortal, that one day she would die; you did not prepare yourself for the loss! This is your punishment!" Hiei snarled; Kazuma's mouth tensed into a fierce frown, ready to step out into a clearing, but Kurama was still putting up a fight, putting up a stance... dammit if Kurama was fighting then shouldn't Kazuma _let him? _

Was this the right thing to do?

God... Kazuma didn't know. It terrified him.

"One cannot prepare themselves for the loss of a loved one!" Kurama was shouting.

"Yes, you can!" Hiei snarled right back, "You can detach, you can build, you wait for the storm to arrive with a house made strong, not of cards!" He threw out a hand wildly. "You folded as fragile as one of your flowers, and you dare to blame fate? You did this to yourself, Kurama!" Hiei pointed at him.

"I could never detach from her!" Kurama screamed, the very idea clearly appalling to him, but Hiei just kept pushing.

"The love she gave you was like a drug; it made you forget the pain, but you drank too deeply from it and now you must face the pain without its soothing presence!"

... Hiei was actually starting to... make sense.

It was unnerving.

"And is that why you avoid Yukina, Hiei?!" Kurama taunted. Kazuma had never heard him make such a blow at Hiei, and knew it was a sign that Kurama was running out of places to hide. Hiei's words were reaching him. "To avoid drinking from the well of her love? Do you smell her soap and wish you could hold her? Do you?" Kurama screamed.

"Shiori's love for you made you just as weak as it did strong!" Hiei shouted, not fazed in the slightest by Kurama's ugly blow. "You know this! The weakness that muddles your mind has her hand on it just as much as the strength behind your whip does! You must take what you can from her, build with it a memory of goodness, and detach! Detach and let go!" Hiei's eyes blazed at the command.

"NO!" Kurama screamed, that same kind of gut wrenching scream Kazuma had heard from atop the BUG. Now, so close, the scream was deafening as it was heart-wrenching, but Hiei did not flinch or flee.

"Then you will never leave this place," Hiei said, his voice eerily soft as he touched his head.

The indication was clear: the psych ward. Kurama screamed and threw himself at Hiei.

They clashed with fists, punching each other senseless as they fell to the ground. They rolled momentarily, each battling to remain on top where their punches would be most effective, but in the end Hiei won out as he kicked a leg between Kurama's and pinned him to the ground. He was straddling Kurama by the waist, looking weirdly sensual with Kurama had he not been punching him relentlessly in the chest, neck, and face. It was terrifying for Kazuma to watch but watch he did... because he knew Hiei could hit a whole lot fucking harder than he was.

Hiei was holding back, but Kurama was still breaking beneath him.

"Let it go!" Hiei roared, punching Kurama hard in the jaw. "Detach from the drug that makes you weak and grow strong in your sobriety!"

"I cannot live as you do, Hiei!" Kurama shouted, "I cannot cut myself off from love-!"

"It is not love, it is weakness!" Hiei punched Kurama in the face again, and Kurama made a noise of pain as the blow connected with the side of his eye; it would surely leave a bruise, "Love does not suck you so dry of yourself! Love does not destroy you when it leaves you!"

"Oh, so that's why you wept like a child when Yukina gave you soap-"

Hiei's face flushed an ugly red, his expression changing from stern control to a brief angry rage in a flash. He punched Kurama hard in the mouth, and Kurama gasped. Hiei grabbed Kurama by the collar, shaking him hard so that his head smacked the ground.

"Shiori loved you, treasured you, adored you, but she is _dead _now," Hiei spat venomously. "You gave her twenty five years of honest living, of nourishing stability and support- do not deny your own involvement in her happiness."

"I was a bastard-" Kurama choked out, blood issuing from the corner of his mouth; Hiei did not care, shaking him still harder so that Kurama's head hit the ground again.

"We're all bastards, Kurama!" Hiei roared, and his fury was to such a point that Kazuma was certain Hiei had screamed this several times during their argument. "It's who we are!"

Kurama's eyes opened, and they stared up in vacant awe into the canopy above Hiei's head. A few silver leaves drifted down, a hot wind blew gently by, but neither fighter moved.

"... That's who we are," Hiei said, his voice now at speaking level. "We can be no other way. But your co dependance upon her love is going to destroy you if you can't learn to let go. Take what you can from it, allow her memory to fill you up in times of darkness, but for the love of _God _don't drown in your pain like a child." Hiei glared at Kurama, "Shiori wanted you to live long and to prosper in health and happiness. That was her final wish. See it come true... or dishonor her forever."

Kurama just kept looking up at the canopy.

"... I never told her," he whispered. Kazuma could hear the pain in his voice.

"... I understand," Hiei replied.

Kurama's eyes flitted to Hiei's face. He reached up a dirty and scraped hand, and gently grabbed the shirt upon Hiei's shoulder. The black cloth was frayed and old, going easily with Kurama's tight grip as he slowly sat up. Hiei slumped back, now sitting upon Kurama's lap in a way that made Kazuma slightly uncomfortable save for the fact that he knew Kurama loved him and not Hiei.

Hiei touched Kurama's brow where a silver leaf had fallen into his red hair and plucked it out.

"Your weakness has made you soft," Hiei murmured. "Before you would have killed yourself with ease."

"Well, really, you need to thank Kazuma for that," Kurama said, a slight smile playing upon his bloodied lips. "Had it not been for him, I would not be here."

Kazuma's heart skipped a beat in the shadows.

"So the fool does have a use after all." Though his words were rude his tone was strangely... appreciative.

"Yes. He does," Kurama said, and Kazuma could now hear the affection in both their voices, see it in both their faces as they gazed upon one another.

For a moment Hiei simply sat and stared at Kurama. Then, he hugged him.

Kazuma's jaw dropped, and he instinctively covered it with a hand.

Hiei did not hug with experience or warmth, but Kurama's face was wide with shock and even delight. He looked at the back of Hiei's head from where it was nestled upon his neck, and seemed utterly amazed as he reached up to put his arms around Hiei.

"I'm glad," Hiei muttered, and though his tone was spiteful his grip was incredibly tight around Kurama.

For a moment, the only sound was them breathing. Kurama's expression grew from delight to emotional grief, his eyes filling with tears though they did not fall. He still smiled, biting his lip as he held Hiei.

Kazuma realized he was not emotional over Shiori for the first time in quite a long time.

Kurama brought a hand up to Hiei's head, and cradled it, his dirty fingers sliding through the short black locks. Hiei nuzzled his face into Kurama's own, just the slightest show of affection that could barely be registered if one hadn't been paying close enough attention.

They sat back, observing one another again. Hiei slid out of Kurama's lap, relaxing upon the forest floor as he retightened his bandana over his ominous third eye.

"Thank you Hiei..." Kurama whispered, his eyes back up on the canopy as he lay flat on his back again. A few more silver leaves fell into his hair. "I needed that."

"Mmm."

Kazuma looked away from the clearing, realizing what an important and personal scene he'd just been private witness to. Maybe it had been wrong of him to watch when it was so rare, like the birth of a child or the departing of the soul from a body; this was not something he should have seen... but he'd seen it none the less.

And he couldn't believe it, in spite of himself.

Hiei's love, only rumored until now, openly on display as he hugged Kurama. What the hell had made him so brave to do that? Kazuma could hardly blame Kurama for the look of shock and awe that he had worn as Hiei had wrapped his arms around his neck. Never in living memory had Hiei done such a thing.

Would he ever do it again? Kazuma doubted it.

It was strange, to walk back to the BUG at a slow and leisurely pace, but he could no longer hear screams and knew that the fight was officially over. Perhaps, in a way, they had accomplished their goal. Kurama had certainly seemed more at ease upon the forest floor than he had in quite a while, but Kazuma was determined to stay in demon world until Kurama told him he was ready to go home.

When he'd arrived back at the lift and reentered the BUG, he'd wandered aimlessly above the upper floors, wondering what he'd find. He was really curious to see where the control was, and knew if he followed the main wiring connection that ran above his head he would find it. Kazuma could sense Kurama's energy nearby, but didn't run into him in the halls, and was surprised when he felt the BUG beginning to move beneath his feet. At first he worried that Kurama would be left behind with Hiei in the forest, but then he sensed Kurama's energy somewhere above his head and knew that Kurama was on board. Perhaps he was on the upper terrace.

Kazuma traveled up, wondering if he'd run into Kurama, but did not see him as he hit the top floor. The wiring above his head was thickest here, and he was certain that the control room was somewhere on this floor. His sense of direction told him that the 'head' of the BUG (if one could say it had a head) would be at the end of the hall, and so he traveled all the way down to where he found a pair of sliding mechanical doors that opened wide to reveal-

Ah. A control room. Kazuma smiled in spite of himself.

Kirin was at the helm, which was a large wiring board full of switches and gears that blinked periodically when in use. Before them was a massive window, slightly rounded like a Cyclops eye would be, and through it Kazuma could see the mountains of the north looming in the distance. To his right, large monitors flashed above the halls, showing camera views of soldiers on patrol and at their stations. He did not see Kurama in any of these.

Still, he knew Kurama was close. His energy hummed pleasantly in the back of Kazuma's mind.

"Wow..." Kazuma greeted Kirin, walking up from behind to view the control board over Kirin's shoulder. This room was spacious for a control center, so that several men could easily access it at the same time... a smart move. "This is pretty cool."

"Quite." Kirin agreed, his eyes crinkling behind his eye slit to tell Kazuma he was smiling again. "A fine beast, isn't she?"

"In my world, I build things; I can appreciate the aesthetic," Kazuma said. "I'm an architect."

"We have such men here," Kirin said.

"I guess the BUG appeals to me in that way." Kazuma shrugged, quite at ease with his newfound friend. Hiei could go take a flying leap, Kirin was pretty darn cool to him.

"Would you care to steer it?" Kirin offered in jest.

"Well, I don't really know where we're going." Kazuma snorted, but Kirin stepped back and Kazuma realized he was going to let him actually _drive _the BUG! Leaping to the controls lest they fall slack, Kazuma kept his hands upon the levers and felt the power hum beneath them. He looked at Kirin who nodded his head once to show that Kazuma was doing as he was supposed to.

"Wow..." Kazuma said again, feeling quite powerful all of a sudden at the helm.

He wished Kurama could see this.

"Do you see those mountains in the far north?" Kirin pointed; Kazuma nodded, "That's bandit territory, and it's becoming a pain in the ass for Enki, our king. We have orders to comb it for ruffians and thugs, so that portals are no longer threatened."

"What are they called?"

"The Norikura Range. They are our destination."

Kazuma heard the doors sliding open behind him, but did not look around. He didn't want to take his eyes off of the road, though to be fair there really wasn't a road; even if there was, this BUG could tear the hell out of anything it crossed. His best move was to cut around the forest and avoid trampling the trees.

"Kirin," came Mukuro's smoky voice. Kirin turned, and greeted her with a silent gesture of his fist to his heart. It was a strange move, and one that Kazuma might expect of a soldier. Perhaps Kirin was finding it difficult to break the habit now that Mukuro was no longer a 'demon king' or whatever the hell Yusuke had said.

"Are you relinquishing your controls to such a creature as this human?" Mukuro said, but her voice was kind and clearly joking.

"I fear I am," Kirin joked back. Mukuro went to stand by the monitors, flicking through them with a remote control at her leisure.

"I may see you unfit for duty if such madness persists." Mukuro winked at Kirin, who snorted softly under his breath; clearly Mukuro would never call Kirin unfit for duty even if he was mad.

"Hey, I'm a good driver," Kazuma dared to join in, though he never took his eyes off the road, "I just don't know how to turn or break." He could not help but laugh aloud at himself.

"I assure you if either were required I would alert you," Kirin said. "Just keep us forward."

So Kazuma did.

"Mukuro, do you know where Kurama is?" Kazuma asked, wondering if she'd seen him about the BUG.

Mukuro turned on a monitor with her remote, and it fuzzed to reveal a scene from atop the upper terrace. There were Kurama and Hiei, both on the roof and both looking quite at ease as they sat side by side. Kurama was still dirty and bloodied, and Hiei had a cut on his face that ought to be taped, but neither seemed eager to fix their wounds. Instead, they were relaxing after their battle and enjoying the open air.

"I guess they wanted some alone time." Kazuma shrugged, at ease with it, "You know, they were hugging in the forest-" He caught Mukuro's eyes. Her good eye crinkled with amusement as she smiled. Kazuma knew she would appreciate the meaning behind those words, given that Hiei was not the 'hugging' type.

She suddenly seemed very happy and reached up to touch the monitor were Hiei's face was showing. Her metal fingers soothingly stroked the glass.

Kirin snorted, shaking his head. Mukuro caught Kazuma's eye again, dropping her bionic hand from the screen.

"Kirin does not enjoy Hiei's company," Mukuro explained softly.

"I would prefer comments from a bloated corpse than that snide upstart," Kirin concurred.

Kazuma said nothing, having often shared the sentiment himself, but he noticed Mukuro reached back up to touch the screen again. Hiei looked over his shoulder, oddly right at the camera; Mukuro touched his face.

Her love was obvious in those tiny moments when she thought no one was looking.

As night began to fall, Kirin took over the controls again to weave the BUG through villages spaced out around the massive fields of demon world. Storms unleashed from above, and both Hiei and Kurama left the upper terrace in escape from the rain. Kurama came into the control room, perhaps following Kazuma's energy, perhaps not, but he certainly did smile when he saw Kazuma relaxing against a bench, and sat next to him as Kazuma reached up to heal his bruised face with his own energy.

"Did Hiei really have to beat you up this much?" Kazuma asked.

"Yes." Kurama laughed softly, Kazuma's thumb catching upon his cracked lip. "Yes, he did."

"Well, I may just have to clobber the little shit," Kazuma murmured, his voice soft and low.

Kirin, at the controls, cast Kazuma a glance. "Hiei is relentless. He knows no mercy."

Kurama looked over his shoulder, and his smile slipped a little as he regarded Kirin.

"... I'm afraid I must disagree," Kurama said. "Hiei can be very merciful when he is properly motivated."

"A true man requires no motivation to bestow mercy." Kirin was unswayed. Kurama made a noise in the back of his throat, his smile slipping some more.

"It ought to be something that you do without motivation." Kazuma added, for he couldn't help but agree with Kirin. Kurama looked at him agog; Kazuma winced. "I mean, you gotta admit-"

"And so the men that threatened my mother or you family during our times of trial... did they deserve mercy?" Kurama asked. "Aniki Toguro and the like?"

"Well, I mean, no-!" Kazuma flustered.

"And the men who beat and raped Yukina during her imprisonment, did they deserve mercy?"

"Hell no!" Kazuma snapped, slightly angry that such a thing could even be suggested. Those men deserved to fry in hell!

"Well, okay then." Kurama relaxed, perching jauntily upon the bench as he gave Kirin a cold glance. "I'm glad you and Hiei are on the same page."

"I..." Kazuma could see Kurama was irritated at him, but dammit he had his own point to prove. Surely Kurama couldn't have forgotten the millions of times Hiei had been an asshole to him. Did those count for nothing? Was he supposed to just toughen up and deal with the fact that a friend thought him a moron?

"He's a real asshole to me, alright?" Kazuma grumbled. Kurama looked at him, aware of his displeasure. "I have resentment over that, I admit it-"

"Hiei does not understand the definition of a friend," Kirin added. "It is a word that is vacant from his vocabulary."

Kurama looked at Kazuma wide eyed, waiting to see what he would say in reply.

On the one hand, he had witnessed a powerful and moving hug not hours ago.

On the other...

"... You gotta admit, he could treat his friends a little bet-" Kazuma began. Kurama scoffed, pulling away from Kazuma's arms and jerking up from the bench on which they sat to storm out of the control room. Kazuma leapt up, following after him, and knew that Kirin's eyes were upon him.

"Kurama, wait-!"

He followed Kurama down a flight of stairs to the fourth floor, and as he whipped out of the stair well and around a corner, he suddenly ran smack into Hiei who was talking to Kurama with a derisive look upon his face. Kazuma stumbled, jerking out of the way to avoid knocking Hiei over-!

"Dammit, Hiei-!" Kazuma scorned. Did he always have to be right in the way?

Kurama was glaring coolly at him, but Kazuma would not be dissuaded. He had a point and he was going to make it. Right here in front of Hiei if need be!

"Look, I'm sorry!" Kazuma snapped, "But I don't like being called a moron every five seconds."

"But you are one," Hiei said with a sneer.

"You shut the fuck up!" Kazuma spat at Hiei, lunging at him, but Hiei vanished into a pocket of air so that Kazuma nearly fell to the floor for a second time as Hiei re appeared behind him. "See!?" Kazuma demanded, whirling upon Kurama whose cool glare now had turned into something more heated and irritable. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! Right here!"

"Hiei..." Kurama warned, "Kazuma is a not a moron. Please do not refer to him as such-"

"Am I to be censored now, for his comfort?" Hiei scoffed, his arms folded over his chest. Damnit, Kazuma hated it when he used that contemptuous tone.

"Understand me, Hiei, his self-confidence was very low when we first fell in love," Kurama warned, and suddenly Kazuma was flushing with embarrassment as Hiei scowled. "He was too afraid to even tell me his feelings for seven years because he thought himself unworthy. Please do not further cement that thought!"

Hiei looked away, eyes narrowing.

"And you!" Kurama rounded on Kazuma, pointing a finger like a knife. Kazuma pursed his lips, hating for Kurama to use such a tone on him. "I expected better from you! Kirin does not understand Hiei; Kirin knows very little of Hiei, and cares nothing for him-"

"Tch." Hiei scoffed, "As if I need loyalty from such a mindless dullard."

"But you know Hiei!" Kurama continued on, eyes wide and imploring, "You fought alongside him- when Sensui threatened to destroy everything you cherished, Hiei was by your side! Do you forget that?"

"He was there because of Yusuke! Not me-" Kazuma snapped, but before Kurama could say anything, Hiei cut across them both.

"A fashionable idea," Hiei sneered, giving Kazuma an ugly grin. "Yet one that is incorrect; I was there because I wanted to fight someone with saint energy. The boy's fate mattered very little to me. Kill or be killed, that is the way of the world."

"In other words-" Kurama cut across Hiei before he could say anything else rude. "Yes, you did care about Yusuke and you were very upset when Yusuke died."

Hiei narrowed his eyes with a scowl.

"But that's exactly what I'm talking about!" Kazuma cried out, gesturing to Hiei who sneered at him, "Why not just come straight out and say 'yes, Yusuke is my friend, I was broken hearted when I saw him die!'. Why the bullshit?! Why the lies?!"

At this, Hiei reached for his sword, eyes glaring upon Kazuma. The pair of them were facing off, charring up-

"Are you calling me a liar?" Hiei snarled, learning in so that Kazuma could see the shadows underneath his almond eyes, as deep and purple as thinly rimmed bruises.

"Are you really gonna deny it, shrimp?!" Kazuma replied, ready for a fight. Yet before one could break out, Kurama reached forward. In the same move he knocked Hiei's sword back into its sheath and pushed Kazuma back from Hiei so that the pair of them had their space.

"... He doesn't say it because he can't. You know that." Kurama's eyes bore into Kazuma's own.

Hiei scoffed in the silence. He turned on his heel and walked down the fourth floor corridor. "I don't have time for this nonsense," was all that he said as he vanished around a corner and disappeared from sight.

Kurama shook his head, turned, and made for their room. Kazuma followed hot on his heels, just as irritable as Kurama. Yet he didn't show it till both of them were over the threshold and the door was closed securely behind them.

"You can't tell me that's normal!" Kazuma snapped angrily as Kurama slumped upon the trunk at the foot of their bed, scowling again. "That treating your friends like shit is natural and shouldn't be curbed!"

Kurama slammed a fist onto the trunk.

"Kazuma, you know he has difficulties!" Kurama rose off the trunk, beginning to pace; suddenly here was the Kurama he hadn't seen in weeks, the Kurama that was engaged and brilliant, cunning as he poked into every corner of a problem for an answer; had they not been fighting he would have been thrilled. "Why do you throw them in his face?"

"I'm trying to understand, Kurama! It's a little difficult when I'm being shitted on every five minutes!"

"That's just his way! Hiei is defensive, he puts up walls, he keeps people out-"

"But just today, I caught a glimpse of Hiei holding you-!" Kazuma flushed when Kurama looked around at him. He was surprised, still Kazuma pushed onward. "He doesn't always keep people out!"

"Yes, if Hiei decides you are trustworthy, that you will not plunge a knife into his back, he will open up-" Kurama agreed, but Kazuma threw up a hand.

"I would never plunge a knife into his back!" Kazuma snapped.

"He knows that!"

"Then why does he treat me-"

"Because you are open!" Kurama shouted the phrase, and it was strange but so accurate that Kazuma was taken aback. Open? Hiei did not like him because he was open?

"Explain," Kazuma said, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"Because you are open, and honest, and you do not have to be afraid; Hiei is none of those things, and it's because he is scared. He is scared to death of trusting, and you do it so easily... so warmly... go genuinely... Hiei can't do it; Kazuma he can't even tell Yukina that he loves her-"

"Does he love her?" Kazuma snorted.

The look Kurama gave him was one of anger, true and honest anger that made him realize what a reproachable thing he'd just said.

"Yes," Kurama said, his tone completely different. He glared at Kazuma as he spoke, the heat in his words not high in volume but deep in meaning. Kazuma looked away, very embarrassed.

"If Yukina died, Hiei would be..." Kurama gestured about, open mouthed, "Doomed." He settled on the word with utmost care. "He would not wait to commit suicide as I did; the minute he found out, he would plunge his sword into his breast... because life would not be worth living anymore."

Kazuma sighed, not saying a word. He should never have insisted Hiei did not love Yukina. He knew now that that was wrong. Still, the damage was done; he could not unsay the words.

"He adores her," Kurama murmured, thoughtful now with no more anger in his voice as he truly considered the matter at hand, "the very ground she walks on is sacred to him. Because she is his twin, his copy, and is so loving and good... she is everything on the outside that he cannot be. Because-" Kurama stopped, toying for words again, "I suppose because someone told him in his youth that it was wrong to trust and foolish to love-"

"Well, they were wrong," Kazuma growled, eyes back on Kurama. He hoped Kurama was not still mad at him. For a moment they simply looked at one another, sizing each other up. Usually so well in synch, it was rare that they did not see eye to eye on a topic. It did not seem to sit right with Kurama, who crossed his arms over his chest and tried to find common ground with Kazuma.

"Kazuma, when you were little and you were afraid, who did you run to?" Kurama asked.

"My dad," Kazuma replied. "Or my sister."

"And what did they say to you? What did they do?" Kurama asked.

"Protected me, consoled me-" Kazuma tried to remember his childhood, tried to recall moments of fear.

"Lifted you up, praised you, told you everything would be alright..." Kurama continued on. Kazuma nodded.

"Imagine if they weren't there," Kurama said. Kazuma stiffened. "Imagine you had no one, or worse had someone cruel. How would that have changed you?"

It was a fair question, and it deserved a fair answer. Kazuma mused on it, thinking of Yusuke and how Atsuko had never exactly been mother of the year. As Kazuma had grown up to defend the territory of his neighborhood, Yusuke had grown up to fight simply for the urge of violent release. He'd trusted no one save Keiko, and had had such a nasty temper that most children their age had avoided him altogether. The isolationism had been the final nail in the coffin, making Yusuke into a cemented teenage delinquent who skipped school, fought constantly, and consorted with dark men in dark corners.

He supposed that he might have grown up somewhat like that.

"Hiei is... very afraid," Kurama began again, his voice soft. It was as if he was nervous Hiei might enter the room and hear him saying such things. Kazuma caught his eye, his fingers drumming upon his lips but still listening. "He's afraid because someone made him afraid. When you look at him, don't see the adult. See the child. See the young boy that's been kicked and beaten and left to sob in the dirt. I assure you... everything will make sense if you do. Hiei is not a lost cause, he is a lost soul. There is a difference." Kurama gave him a reproachful smile, "He needs people who will understand and support him. People like Mukuro and Yusuke-"

"And you," Kazuma added in.

"And you," Kurama finished. Kazuma did not agree and shook his head.

"He needs you," Kurama soothed, taking a step forward and placing a hand upon Kazuma's breast directly over his heart, "He will never say it, he certainly has never said it to anyone else, but he needs you."

Kazuma still wasn't convinced.

"How do you know that this isn't all some joke, that he isn't really a fucking prick to the bone?" Kazuma asked. "Where is my proof?"

"In his eyes," Kurama answered. "The next time that you argue with him, look into his eyes. You will see the fear there. If it was a joke, the fear would not exist. Nothing is funny when you are afraid... I should know."

At this, Kurama looked down and away, lamenting on something Kazuma was not privy to. Kazuma sighed, reaching up and stroking Kurama's face.

"... I'm sorry." Kazuma murmured, "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean what I said about... Yukina."

"I know," Kurama assured him. He leaned in and Kazuma held him; it was incredibly lovely, to cradle his chin atop Kurama's fluffily chopped hair. He kissed Kurama's brow beneath him.

Outside, the storm raged on.


	7. Chapter 7

They reached the Norikura Mountain Range early the next morning, and when Kazuma awoke curled around Kurama's sleeping form he could smell pine and cedar. In demon world, where pollution was nonexistent, the trees became a heavy odor in the air, and it was very soothing to smell something fresh after the rotting smell of corpses in the valleys. Kazuma rose, dressed, and woke Kurama so that they both could venture downstairs into the cool mountain air. The turf was springy and thick under foot, a dense lush green, and pine trees towered over their heads to shrink like an odd green beard upon the mountains face as Kazuma looked into the distance. The jagged peaks went up high into the sky, and farther away Kazuma could see white caps where snow lay thick upon the creamy brown tops. Wild flowers grew in bunches along beaten paths and a mist settled over the ground to sweep past their feet every time a breath a wind blew by. It truly was a lovely place.

Portals were here too, and Kazuma could not help but wonder how many portals there were into demon world and why he'd never seen one in human world. Maybe he just hadn't been looking properly, but there were at least six (that Kazuma could see) along the main road, and frankly it disturbed him to know that he'd never felt at least one while in Japan. Maybe he wasn't paying attention. Maybe they weren't even in Japan.

Hiei and Mukuro were already on the ground, walking past portals and inspecting them at random. Soldiers marched by in troops, lead by Kirin who was talking rapidly with Mukuro as she listened intently and scrolled over a clip board. She had that same document in her hands that Kazuma had seen her with when they'd first arrived in Demon world, and now wondered if it was a summons from Enki asking her to comb the mountains.

Kazuma and Kurama joined Hiei, and Kazuma found it very nice to walk among the mountain trails as Hiei scanned the horizon for trouble up ahead. Kazuma had to wonder if Hiei ever relaxed or allowed himself pause. Kazuma was determined not to argue with Hiei today and if an argument did arise, he had a plan... he was going to imagine Hiei as a child, and instead of fighting, he would simply banter. He would take nothing personally, and instead look at Hiei as he might look at a younger brother.

As they walked, Kazuma asked questions, wanting to keep Hiei engaged. Hiei looked very bored.

"So where do these places lead out?" he asked Hiei, who did not look at him when he replied.

"Various sights around human world," Hiei grunted. Kazuma wondered if Hiei would be happier wandering the mountainside instead of being stuck to one beaten path; perhaps he needed a vacation from work. Did Hiei even take vacations?

"You ever taken a vacation, Hiei?" Kazuma asked. "I think you could use one."

"So do I," Hiei sneered, but before he could say any more, he stopped and looked over a thick brush with wary eyes. His forehead glowed a deep violet, and Kazuma's spirit awareness tingled as he felt the Jagan expand its influence.

"Hiei?" Kurama asked, no doubt feeling it too. It was like a wave of warm light bathing Kazuma's aura.

Hiei stormed over to the bush, pulled it back with a rough tug, and the three of them were sudden given view of a human girl no older than six or seven curled up on her side and fast asleep. She had dirt on her face and twigs in her hair. Hiei sighed haggardly, clearly irritated by the find; the little girl opened her eyes, and as she saw the three of them she opened her mouth to cry out-!

Hiei snapped his fingers, and she fell limp back to the earth. She was knocked out cold.

"Woah!" Kazuma was quite worried for the child. What on earth had Hiei done to her? But Hiei was reaching into the bush, grabbing her by her arm to pull her into a strange holding embrace as he caught the attention of a passing guard.

The guard took the child at once, cradling her in his arms, and Hiei wiped his hands free of dirt upon his cloak.

"Pathetic creatures," Hiei grumbled under his breath.

"Uh- are we gonna make sure she's okay-" Kazuma asked, watching the guard carry the child away towards Kirin and Mukuro who did not seem particularly interested but did swipe a strange electrical instrument over the child which beeped rapidly. The guard took the child to the second portal some ways down the path, and stepped through it at once to vanish into the light.

"If she dies she dies," Hiei grumbled. Normally a phrase like this would not sit well with Kazuma, but today he looked at Hiei as he might a small boy, and his imagination churned out the indignant phrase of _'__I don__'__t care about her!__'__. _

So he replied as he might to any young boy.

"That's not very nice, Hiei," Kazuma reminded him.

"I'm not very nice," Hiei sneered.

"I disagree," Kazuma said. Kurama looked around at him, amazed. Hiei just glared.

"Do you?" Hiei rolled his red eyes, walking away down the mountain path towards Mukuro and Kirin. "Fascinating."

"As a matter of fact..." Kazuma said, picking up the pace to keep up with Hiei, "I think you wanna make sure she's okay- I bet that guard is really nice and you gave her to him because you knew he'd take care of her! Right?"

Hiei sneered, saying nothing but Mukuro had heard him and smiled at Kazuma.

"Very astute," she praised.

"Right." Kazuma answered his own question; of course Hiei cared. Hiei was a good guy!

Hiei was starting to seethe, his angry eyes now itching with the slightest hints of oncoming rage. But Kazuma could see something there, an embarrassment. Hiei was embarrassed at being associated with empathy and fear, especially in regards to a human child. Perhaps he thought that people would laugh at him, mock him for his kindness, but kindness did not deserve to be jested at in a world where there was so little of it. So Kazuma took it upon himself to tell Hiei this, as he might any young boy who was confused or concerned about looking weak.

"Look, you were worried, there's nothing wrong about that." Kazuma tried for an easy smile. This only seemed to irritate Hiei more, but he didn't give up, "Worrying's a good thing! It makes you connect with other people-"

"You are delusional on a level that is disturbing," Hiei cut him off.

"Hey, man, you just gotta trust me on these things." Kazuma smiled.

"I trust no one-" Hiei spat, turning to go, but Kazuma's next words slipped so easily from his mouth that Hiei was kept from leaving.

"Aww, why not?" Kazuma said. It was so easy now to see Hiei as a young boy, to forget that he was a grown man with a sword at his hip. "You have so many people that love you, why not trust them? You got me, you got Yusuke, you got Kurama, you got your sister-"

That word changed everything.

Hiei whipped around, his sword resonating with a sharp 'twang' as he yanked it from its sheath and pointed it at Kazuma's neck. Suddenly Kazuma remembered that Hiei was not a child, and that he had a very good grip on his blade... Kazuma raised his hands, realizing he'd stepped over a very thin boundary in Hiei's world. Kurama had gasped, the tension escalating to that of a near battle as Kazuma and Hiei stared at one another; crimson eyes blazed as they bore into Kazuma's open and honest face.

"... What did you just say to me?" Hiei seethed.

Kazuma waited a breath, noting that Mukuro was watching and so was Kirin. As a matter of fact, everyone in the clearing was now watching and all eyes were on him to make this right.

Kazuma knew he was treading on very thin ice, and he spoke in a hushed tone so that only Hiei could hear.

"Look, I know... that you're... scared to tell her things, but I swear to you-" Kazuma raised his hands higher as Hiei's lip curled at the word 'scared', "I swear to you, she loves you and she wants nothing more than to be with-"

Kurama cut him off with a wild noise, shaking his head rapidly as Hiei's curling lip turned into a full out snarl. It didn't matter what Kazuma said next because Hiei had fucking heard enough. He threw down his sword and leapt at Kazuma with his claws extended. Kazuma took an instinctual step back but Kurama jumped in between them, a hand on both their chests as he tried to keep Kazuma safe from Hiei's villainous rage.

"You-!" Hiei seethed. "You shut your fucking mouth! You disgusting cretin-!"

But Kazuma could see the terror in Hiei's eyes, the absolute and utter terror at the mention of Yukina that made him suddenly feel very sorry for Hiei and his situation. He'd never realized until that moment, until he saw that fear, just how deep it was. Kurama and Yusuke had been right; you couldn't broach the subject of Yukina with Hiei and expect him to remain calm. He was scared of his twin sister, genuinely terrified of all the pain she could bring him should she turn her cheek in scorn. He was so wrapped up in that fear that he did not see how much Yukina adored him.

It was an utter shame, and it made Kazuma wince in sympathy.

"Hiei, could you please control yourself and quit acting like a child-" Mukuro sneered, her attention off of Hiei for a moment as she returned to speaking with Kirin. People were no longer watching, clearly used to Hiei foaming at the mouth for various reasons throughout the day.

"Shut up, you overly dramatic bitch, I am not a child-!" Hiei snarled.

Mukuro stopped, her expression going slack.

Kirin made a face that Kazuma could discern even through his mask: disgust at Hiei's remark.

"Is that what she is?" Kirin said coldly. Hiei did not address him.

Mukuro looked over her shoulder, her violet eye beginning to look ever so slightly irritated as she handed Kirin her clip board and letter; he took both without a word. She walked over to Hiei, rolling up her shirt sleeves, and suddenly Kazuma could see that a fight- a very nasty fight- was about to break out.

And Hiei was gonna lose.

Hiei seemed to recognize this too, taking a step back from Kazuma and Kurama as he instead bared himself against Mukuro- but it was far too late. She was taller than him, she was stronger than him, and she was about to be madder than him after being called a 'stupid bitch' in front of her men.

"I'm sorry, Hiei, what did you just say to me?" Mukuro growled, her bionic hand tightening into a cold and dangerous fist.

"... I..." Hiei faltered.

It was the first time Kazuma had ever seen Hiei back down from dog cussing an opponent.

"... What's a matter, are your emotions making your memory slack?" Hiei sneered in a rush. Kazuma could see the fear in his eyes.

Mukuro let out a soft chuckle, so soft and sweet that she might have appeared to be genuinely at peace, but then she grabbed Hiei by the collar and drug him off into the woods, her strength rendering escape or fight impossible. Kazuma and Kurama followed at once, on strangest instinct to defend Hiei even from Mukuro (which was a weird concept in and of itself). They were not thirty feet away from where the soldiers and portals when Mukuro launched Hiei from her grip, throwing him hard into a tree to pin him there by the throat. Hiei gasped for air, launching a fist at her face, but Mukuro deflected it easily with her bare hand and threw all her weight behind her grip so that Hiei coughed.

"You want to explain to me what your adorable attitude is all about?" Mukuro growled. Hiei bared his teeth to her, giving away nothing.

"Go fuck yourself," Hiei bit out. Mukuro drew back her free hand-

"Wait!"

Kazuma had no idea why, but a burst of energy and courage shot through him, making him leap forward right as Mukuro made to punch Hiei in the mouth. He grabbed her arm, hands tight around her wrist, stopping her before she made contact. Kurama let out another gasp, and Kazuma had a feeling that if he looked over his shoulder Kurama would be ashen white from fear.

Kurama knew what Mukuro was capable of. Kazuma did not. Maybe it was for the better since he was technically now stopping her attack. Mukuro narrowed her good eye at him, and Kazuma winced in spite of himself. Damn, he wasn't in love with her and even he could see how scary that look might be.

"Hold on-" Kazuma spluttered, "This is my fault- don't- he didn't mean it-! You know he'd never call you names on purpose, he loves you too much-"

"Shut up, you miserable worm!" Hiei spat, still pinned to the tree. "I meant every word of it!"

Kazuma could hear the fear in his voice and immediately dismissed the insult.

"He's just upset, it's not like he actually thinks you're an overly dramatic bitch, I mean come on-" Kazuma scoffed in spite of himself, "Why on earth would he say that to you and mean it?"

"Step aside," Mukuro said, but her voice was softening and her grip on Hiei's neck was slackening.

"I'm not going to let you hit him cause he's scared to tell his sister that he loves her-!"

Hiei made a wild noise but Mukuro's fist around his neck kept him immobile even as he shrieked and reached out to rip at Kazuma.

"Is that what this whole argument was about?" Mukuro asked with a light sneer. Clearly, like Kazuma's confidence, Hiei's emotional fears were well known topic in his lover's heart.

"Yes, and I made it happen, so please don't-"

Hiei kicked out, knocking Mukuro's hand free. Now un-pinned, he jerked away from them both, storming deeper into the woods. He turned on the spot, his fist up, and suddenly a ball of hot, angry energy was blasted at Kazuma's face-

Mukuro deflected it with ease; it hit a tree and caused an explosion of splinters. Hiei was panting, taking in deep lungfuls of air as he glared at Kazuma.

"You... are a boorish, brainless-" Hiei began, every word filled with loathing, but the misery and fear in his eyes automatically stopped Kazuma from taking offense. He'd seen children react the same way to being scolded, storming off and screaming that they hated their parents only to cry into their pillow when they were alone. His father had always made him take a walk when Kazuma had been younger and just as upset; maybe that's what Hiei needed to do now. Frankly, the mountain air was charming and Hiei could do with some alone time.

"Hiei, you don't have to keep engaging me when you're so upset-" Kazuma assured him, taking nothing personally even as Hiei scoffed and grew angrier. "Take a second to calm down!"

"I DO NOT NEED TO CALM DOWN!" Hiei shouted, "YOU HAVE NO EFFECT OVER ME!"

"You're screaming-" Kazuma said.

"SHUT UP!" Hiei reared back his hand as if to throw another energy blast but Mukuro was looking at him with mild irritation, that same strange expression she'd worn before storming over and dragging him off into the woods. It seemed to slow Hiei's response time, even unnerve him.

"Hiei just...like... go take a walk-" Kazuma offered, gesturing to the woods. Mukuro crossed her arms over her chest, waiting to hear Hiei's response. "Look at how nice it is today- go take a walk and cool off and we'll just talk about this later-"

"We are not going to talk about this later-!" Hiei spat, throwing his arms wide in a definitive 'no' stance.

"Yes we are-" Kazuma warned, for he had every intention of trying to help Hiei through his fears should he ever be given the chance, "this needs to be talked about, for your own emotional health-" But the words 'emotional health' were too much for Hiei who let out an angry scream before turning on his heel and storming off into the woods. He stomped through the underbrush, vanishing around a bend in the mountain, and Kazuma ran a hand wearily through his hair.

"Damn, he's got issues," Kazuma murmured. "But pretending he's four is not the worst idea I've ever had-"

"Kazuma, that is not what I meant-!" Kurama moaned, no doubt remembering their conversation from last night.

"But it worked, I mean, I could tell none of that was directed at me!" Kazuma offered. "I'm not mad in the slightest-!"

"Meanwhile Hiei is re-sculpting the mountain," Mukuro grumbled; several loud explosions ricochet off their eardrums, making Kazuma wince. He could smell smoke and knew there was fire. "Tell me, Kazuma, were the explosions part of your plan, or a simple side detail to be address later?"

Kazuma looked at the path where Hiei had just vanished as more angry screams issued faintly from the distance and black smoke began to waft past.

He suddenly was very embarrassed.

After his wild outburst in the woods, Hiei needed considerable time to cool down and be left alone. Kazuma, Kurama, Mukuro and Kirin all returned to the BUG where they observed the mountain terrain from the upper terrace while Hiei trained in the BUG's many torture rooms. Save for the flickers of his energy deep below their feet, Hiei did not appear and no one sought him out. He'd blown a good chunk out of the eastern face of one of the smaller mountains, and birds were now landing in the crater he'd created to fish out newly revealed grubs and beetles. Mukuro looked through a small telescope, seemingly irritated at something though Kazuma could not say what. Kurama on the other hand was quite relaxed, and smiled as he took deep lungfuls of the mountain air. The smell of pine was clear and heavy above the BUG.

"I remember this area from my youth," Kurama admitted. "Its beauty was always superb."

"We should go camping," Kazuma said, suddenly thinking of his own youth when Jiro had taken he and Shizuru deep into the wilderness of Japan for weekends spent fishing and hiking. It had delighted him as a child.

"Camping?" Kurama repeated the word, toying it over in his mind.

"Yeah. Shoot, let's like... go for a couple of weeks." Kazuma shrugged. Dammit, they had nothing else planned and maybe the fresh air would do Kurama some good. "We'll camp, fish, swim, hike... just have fun. What do you say?"

"That sounds enchanting." Kurama laughed. "Save that we are in demon world and camping is slightly more dangerous in bandit infested country-"

"And yet..." Mukuro spoke up, lowering her telescope. "Where are the bandits?"

Now it was clear what was bothering her. Enki had sent her to get rid of a problem but the problem in question was nowhere to be seen.

"They have fled," Kirin prompted. "They no doubt saw the BUG and ran for their meagre lives."

"I highly doubt that they have abandoned their onslaught." Mukuro commented, "They're probably hiding in the hills... if one were to go in unannounced once might uncover them."

Kazuma saw an opportunity and seized it.

"Come with us!" Kazuma urged. Mukuro gave him a curious look. "You and Hiei both! We'll all go camping. It'll be like a double date!"

Kurama snorted at this, but Mukuro's good eye was narrowing deep in thought.

Mukuro looked at the hills one more time with her telescope before lowering it and handing it over to Kirin who took it at once.

"Kirin."

"Mukuro."

"I am going into the mountains with Hiei to rid them of bandits. I will be taking our guests. You are in charge until I return."

Kazuma punched the air, quite delighted at the prospect that awaited them. Camping with Kurama, Mukuro, and Hiei? Could the day get any better-?

Well... maybe if Hiei wasn't going, but dammit, he wasn't about to poke holes in such a delightful tapestry.

"Of course," Kirin said, bowing ever so slightly to Mukuro. She turned, heading for the trap door, and gestured for both Kazuma and Kurama to follow.

"Come," she said. They went.

"Are you serious about this?" Kurama demanded, but Mukuro did not answer as they descended into the BUG and began to make their way through the lower levels. "This hardly seems pleasurable."

"I enjoy slaughter, and Hiei enjoys solitude. The mountains promise both." Mukuro grumbled back.

They hit the first floor, and went down a side corridor that was heavily guarded to come upon a bolted and warded door. Kazuma had never been to the torture dungeons and frankly was not excited for what might lay inside; when Mukuro opened the door, they came upon a row of cells. Most were empty, save for two that both held soldiers; as Mukuro passed they cringed and turned their faces away. Hiei's energy was palpable in here, a smoky heat that made it difficult to breath.

"Traitors," was all she said at Kazuma's questioning glance toward the soldiers. "They will die."

Kazuma winced as he saw a pained expression upon one of the traitor's faces.

They came to the end of the hall where another bolted and warded door lay. Beyond it, muted shouts could be heard. Mukuro ran her bionic hand upon the wood, and from within they heard several deep metallic clicks. The door swung open, and smoke drifted into their waves. Kazuma coughed, waving his hand in front of his eyes and nose which immediately began to sting and water.

Hiei was inside, relentlessly pummeling a large black rock that towered above their heads. With each hit of his fist, more of the rock exploded off into the air. Kazuma realized now that the smoke came not from fire, but from the rock. He was amazed at Hiei's strength.

"Hiei, we're leaving," Mukuro instructed him.

"Good," Hiei grunted as he punched the rock again, "I hope you never come back."

"I mean you, too," she growled.

"Oh, really?" Hiei turned around, wiping powdered rock from his chin with the back of his bleeding fist. "And you'd assumed I would agree? A rather bold move-" He chortled, though there was nothing humorous in his words as he returned to the rock. He smoothed it with a hands, flicking a few pebbles away, then reached back and punched it hard in another explosive blast.

"You, Kazuma, Kurama and I will be clearing the mountains of bandits," Mukuro said. "We will also be enjoying the scenery; an idea that I find charming."

"Spare me." Hiei drawled, throwing another punch at the rock.

"Come on, Hiei, camping's fun!" Kazuma chimed in, thinking of small children that he'd seen dragging their feet to spend outings with their families. They always ended up having a good time. "We can go fishing, and hiking, and-"

Hiei cut him off with a snarl.

"If you think I have forgotten your earlier remark then you are grievously mistaken, cretin."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Kazuma apologized, and he was quite sincere, too. "I did not mean to hurt your feelings. I honestly was trying to help, I didn't realize how upset you would be-"

"I am not upset!" Hiei spat the word, turning on Kazuma with wild, burning eyes. In them, Kazuma saw the phrase _'__I am very upset__' _written clearly despite what Hiei said to the contrary. "What is your obsession with me being-"

"Engaged, involved, compromised," Kazuma offered, remembering when he was a small boy that he hadn't like to be told that he was upset either. It had made him sound weak. "Pick a word that makes you feel better and use it instead, but all I'm saying is that I didn't know. I know now. I'm sorry."

Hiei glared at him, dropping his hands from the rock. He stormed over to a pile in the corner, and Kazuma watched as he bent over to pick up a roll of gauze which he began to use to wrap his bloodied and bruised knuckles.

"I do not require an apology." It was clear in Hiei's tone that he did not like the notion of people thinking he was type who liked to be apologized to.

"I'm giving you one anyway," Kazuma said easily, making sure that his tone was light and non-judgmental, "Cause we're friends and I don't want you to feel... compromised."

Hiei glared at him, shaking his head in disgust. "You are fucking insane. _You _should have been the one put in a psych ward."

"Nah." Kazuma grinned. "I'm not crazy, I just like being your friend."

Hiei stared.

He made several rounds of noises, each of them more disjointed and irritated than the last, before turning on his heel and marching for the dungeon door. Clearly he'd had enough interaction with Kazuma to last him several lifetimes, but Mukuro's voice caused Hiei to halt even as he wrenched open the door-

"We're leaving at dusk," she said.

"You're leaving," Hiei corrected her. He took a step forward.

"Hiei-" Mukuro warned.

"Mukuro, I refuse to be-"

_"__Hiei.__" _

Hiei pinched the bridge of his nose, his temper flaring up; Kazuma could feel the fluctuations in his energy, the wild pitches as his heart leapt and began to beat faster.

"It is ridiculous to even ins-"

"Hiei," Mukuro snapped, her tone loud and commanding. It left no room for argument.

"Fine!" Hiei snarled "God dammit!" And he slammed the door so hard behind him that the hinges shook.

Kazuma let out a deep breath, wondering what it would take for Hiei to relax.

He briefly thought about Kurama's medication from spirit world which was hiding in Kazuma's ruck sack just in case of an emergency. He could always-...

... No... He probably shouldn't do that.


End file.
